I stood up from my gloriously sprawled position on the floor and hauled myself onto the soft bed. I might have accepted the situation, but I still needed to go through every single memory, to properly understand what Toni had lived through and how she'd ended up on that particular downward spiral I'd read about in the novel. Knowing the backstory would help me plan better for whatever came next.
I'm honestly conflicted. It was almost a relief that no one had ever cared much about Toni, or, in this new arrangement, about me. At least that meant I could do whatever I wanted without worrying about anyone noticing a sudden shift in attitude. No one to ask why I suddenly walked differently, or why my table manners had improved overnight, or why I no longer flinched at loud noises the way the old Celestine apparently used to. But at the same time, I felt bad. For me, this kind of disregard was new, something I was only experiencing in the flesh now, a costume I could take off eventually if I really needed to. For Toni, it had been her whole life, with no edges to it, nothing to compare it against. I only hoped she'd have a better experience living mine, back in Country Z. As for how she'd handle those rascals and the old geezer on the other side, I'd just light an incense for her and hope she made it through. She's a smart cookie. She'd manage.
"Damn. The old geezer forced me to take a few days off. Now it's become permanent. Tsk. What joy. I'm all by myself now. No one to tell me I should act more like a girl, talk softer like a girl, dress like a girl. No one to care if I put my feet up or burp loudly." I sighed. Maybe this is what they call the bliss of solitude.
Solitude, my foot.
Of course no one would comment on it, because even if I tried to act otherwise, it still wouldn't land right. Even trying to act manly, it would come off as pretty, enchanting, attractive. Who asked me to have this sinfully pretty face? Though, with this ruin-inducing beauty, it wouldn't matter much either, since no one ever saw it in its full glory. My own family included. Pure neglect. Emotional and moral. Ugh. I should feel relieved. But man, this plain sucks.
Right. Toni had mentioned casting the spell the night of her birthday. So this was the morning after. Those three words came back to me again.
[No one came.]
F*ck it. If they didn't want to come, fine. The less they cared, the better. If we were in my world, I would've sued this irresponsible family into the ground.
A cake would've been nice, though.
I sifted through the memories in my head again. Despite my near non-existent presence in this estate, there had still been a few people who gave me the slightest bit of attention. Who am I kidding? There was only one. The old butler, Wilhelm, made sure food reached me on time. I would have starved otherwise.
Maids drew my bath, did the laundry, cleaned my room once a week. That's it. No one lingered to chat, no one asked how I'd slept. As for dressing myself, I'd learned to do that alone eventually, fumbling with corset laces and buttons until muscle memory took over. The maids were only ever forced through the bare minimum, since there was no benefit in serving me properly. I was thankful enough that they didn't rob me blind.
Now, though, I didn't need any of them to do anything. With Bai Feng Jiu's experience as an independent, modern woman, I could handle the little things without effort. But that didn't absolve the household of the fact that a young lady had been left to her own devices for years on end. That isn't parenthood, y'all.
I sat cross-legged on the bed after a while, having finished sifting through Toni's memories.
"What do you know? Toni really was a genius in magic. Wait. Toni is me now. So that means I'm a genius in magic. Nice."
I threw a fist in the air in jubilation. Toni had been a magister at fifteen. After casting that high-grade spell on the eve of her birthday, she'd broken through and become a Grand Magister. That was no longer just genius. That was a prodigy.
I raised both hands, halfway into a victory dance, when a knock at the door stopped me cold.
"Good morning, Lady Celestine. I've come to deliver your breakfast." A polite, elderly voice sounded from the door. I straightened, clearing my throat awkwardly. At the very least, even if I wasn't about to play the paragon of a noble lady, I should still look somewhat presentable.
"Come in." I replied brightly. Food was my guilty pleasure, and from what I could tell, Celestine's food had always been scrumptious. Despite her lowly status in this household, the old butler made sure she was never bullied and never went without. It made me look forward to it now.
The door opened, and a geriatric old man with a benign smile stepped through, the tray in his hands steady despite his age. I gave him a small smile in return. It seemed to catch him off guard, judging by the soft gasp he let out, his eyes going a little wide before he caught himself.
'I know how you feel, uncle. I know. My smile's lethal, isn't it. Enjoy it. You're the first one I've ever smiled at, with this face.' I thought, bemused.
Wilhelm coughed lightly to cover his embarrassment, then set the breakfast down on the table by the windows. I chuckled at his flustered reaction. Before turning to the food, I faced him properly. This old man was the only person in the household who'd shown Toni any real kindness or respect, no matter how small the gesture, or whether it came from simple duty. It was only right that I return it.
Let's start with a thank-you, shall we?
"Thank you for your hard work, Grandpa Wilhelm. I truly appreciate you taking care of me, and everyone else in this household, all these years. Have a wonderful day today." I spoke sweetly, meaning every word. Once again, the old man was dumbfounded. His benign face flushed, just slightly.
"It, it is my honor, my lady. No need for thanks. I hope you have a wonderful day as well." He replied, unsure, then bowed and left me to my food.
I gazed pensively at the breakfast in front of me, steam still curling off the tea, then out the window, at the panes glittering against the morning sun.
"To leave or not to leave. We shall see, in a few days."