After everyone had left and the stream returned to quiet solitude, Yongzheng's clothes had dried in the sun, and the two were full of the grilled fish. Yongzheng sat down in front of Xue Horan, preparing to shoulder him once more.
Xue Horan looked at him, feeling the weight of the long journey. "Yongzheng, you don't have to carry me, I can walk slowly."
"Just let me carry you," Yongzheng insisted gently.
"Why?" Xue Horan asked.
"This can alleviate my guilt," Yongzheng admitted.
"It's not your fault," Xue Horan said quickly.
Yongzheng took a deep breath, meeting Xue Horan's eyes with solemn sincerity. "Horan, I do feel somewhat guilty. I want you to know that no matter what happened to you, unless you tell the fourth person, I will never mention it. In addition, I want you to know that what happened is not your fault. I don't want you to blame yourself for it."
He paused, making a silent pact with the young man. "This will be the last time we mention this issue. I don't want you to mention it again in the future." He sighed. "Can you promise me?"
Xue Horan leaned forward, resting against Yongzheng's back. He realized that the ordeal was weighing just as heavily, if not more, on his savior. He spoke softly into Yongzheng's ear. "Okay, we will never mention about this issue again."
It took Yongzheng and Xue Horan almost an entire day to reach Li Village. They finally stopped at Yan Zhanjin's house. Yongzheng gently let Xue Horan down from his back at the front door and called out, "Is anyone home?"
"Enter the backyard," Yan Zhanjin shouted back.
When Yongzheng and Xue Horan walked into the backyard, they found Yan Zhanjin drying medicinal herbs.
"Yan yisheng, is Rao-xiong here?" Yongzheng asked.
"Yes, he is in the house."
Xue Horan immediately asked, "How is he?"
"He will live, but it will take a few months to recover," Yan Zhanjin said. He looked at Xue Horan with concern. "I'm sorry for what happened. I heard about it from Yuan guniang." He sighed, trying to offer comfort. "You two are not the only ones captured by the Cao."
"Were you also his prisoner?" Yongzheng asked.
"Yes, I used to be his hostage. The wicked man came here to hold me hostage and then forced my good friend to help him heal Mu Dishi. He knew he could not defeat my friend, so he fed me the seven colors pill."
Xue Horan's heart skipped a beat. "I suppose you don't have a cure?"
"It's an easy poison to mix, but finding a cure is hard," Yan Zhanjin admitted.
"How so?" Yongzheng asked.
Yan Zhanjin explained, "It all depends on the order in which the seven medicines are mixed. To create an antidote, the seven medicines need to be mixed in reverse order. If the order is mixed wrong, it will become a different seven colors pill."
Xue Horan asked, trying to sound detached, "How many days can a poisoned person live?"
Yan Zhanjin chuckled sadly. "Of course, it is seven days, that's why it's called the seven colors pill." He then looked piercingly at Xue Horan. "Come to think of it, when I first checked Rao Zhengsheng, he had traits of the seven colors pill, but he somehow recovered. For as long as I've known Cao Wenyan, he will never give Rao Zhengsheng the antidote." He stared, his gaze unrelenting. "Do you know?"
Xue Horan looked down, his heart racing. He hesitated and lied, "I… I don't know."
Yan Zhanjin changed the subject abruptly. "Young man, can you give me that red leaf. I need two."
Xue Horan turned to his left, looking at the dried herbs. "I don't see any red leaves."
"Yan," Yongzheng began to warn.
"Hold your tongue," Yan Zhanjin interrupted, his eyes fixed on Xue Horan. "The leaves are right in front of you. People who have consumed the seven colors pill is unable to see red."
Yongzheng looked at Xue Horan, and the terrible truth hit him like a physical blow. The gut-wrenching realization that Xue Horan had traded his body for the medicine—that the guard's sneering remark "whore" was true—sent a cold, violent rage coursing through his blood. He gripped Xue Horan's hand, his voice a raw whisper. "Did you?"
"I…" Xue Horan stammered, unable to finish the lie.
Yan Zhanjin reached out and grabbed Xue Horan's wrist, measuring his pulse with professional precision. He looked at the young man. "How many days has it been?"
"Four days ago," Xue Horan whispered.
Yongzheng let go of Xue Horan's hand and immediately turned to leave. Xue Horan quickly grabbed his left arm.
"Yongzheng, where are you going?" Xue Horan begged.
"Getting the antidote," Yongzheng replied, his face hard with resolve.
"Don't go, you will be killed!"
"I don't care."
Xue Horan stepped in front of him, physically blocking the exit. "But I care... you can't come back on time to save me." He looked Yongzheng in the eyes. "Forget it."
Yan Zhanjin intervened, confirming the danger. "He makes sense. Even if Cao Wenyan gives you the antidote, you will not be back on time." He then looked back at Xue Horan. "Cao Wenyan might be an evil man, but I don't understand why he wants to hurt you."
Yongzheng looked down at Xue Horan, his hands gripping both of Xue Horan's shoulders. "Is this for Rao Zhengsheng?" he demanded, piecing the truth together. "You used yours."
Xue Horan shouted, "Yongzheng!" His voice broke. "We promised to never talk about it again!"
Yongzheng slowly let go of Xue Horan's shoulders. He looked at Xue Horan one last time, the guilt and love warring in his eyes, then turned and ran away through the front gate.
Xue Horan screamed after him, "Yongzheng…!"
Yongzheng ran frantically across the dirt road, up the steep mountain path, and went straight to the cliff edge overlooking the vast valley. He stood before the precipice, took a deep, shuddering breath, and shouted from the depth of his lungs, releasing the torrent of guilt, fear, and rage that consumed him. Afterwards, he closed his eyes, standing still with his fists clenched tightly at his sides, attempting to regain control.
A voice startled him. "Yongzheng, when did you get back?"
Yongzheng turned to see Liang daoshi, his master, standing nearby. He bowed his head respectfully and said, "Shifu, I am back."
Liang daoshi noted his distress. "What's the matter?"
Yongzheng confessed the core of his conflict. "Shifu, I have liked someone. I want to bring this person back to live with us."
Liang daoshi simply replied, "I have no problem with this."
"But that person probably doesn't want to stay here because—"
"That person feels differently than you," Liang daoshi finished, understanding the implied rejection.
"Yes," Yongzheng confirmed, looking down. He added the burden of his promise. "I happened to promise a dying person to take care of this person."
Liang daoshi smiled gently, guiding his disciple toward self-realization. "Yongzheng, look deep inside your heart. I believe you already know the answer to your question." He offered the final, profound counsel. "If your heart is not here... then your body has no reason to stay." He slowly turned and walked away toward the old temple, leaving Yongzheng alone with his decision.
Yan Zhanjin told Xue Horan that Rao Zhengsheng would not wake up anytime soon after taking the heavy sedatives and recovery medicine.
Xue Horan walked to the front gate and leaned against the door, overlooking the dark path. The deep shadows of the trees added more darkness to the lonely road, and he waited for Yongzheng.
Yan Zhanjin stood up from behind him. "You remind me of a person I knew before."
"Mu Dishi?" Xue Horan asked.
Yan Zhanjin laughed lightly. "No."
"Who?"
"His name is Gu Yingjie."
"Is he your friend?"
"No, it's more like a rival in love," Yan Zhanjin confessed, approaching Xue Horan. "He and I, we both liked the same person. His name is Zhu Mingyang."
"Yan-xiong, you liked a man?"
"I don't like any man. I just like Zhu Mingyang. We knew each other and had a common life philosophy. When he rejected me, I felt very sad, but then I rethought everything, and I finally understood that there are two different types of likes: brotherly likes and soulmate likes." He smiled gently. "Mingyang is right, there is only one winner when it comes to love, and I am not that winner."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be. Mingyang loved Yingjie to the point that he would do whatever it took to protect Yingjie. They loved each other so willingly, to the point they could sacrifice themselves to protect each other."
Xue Horan asked, lost in thought, "How do we know if there are people who are willing to sacrifice themselves to protect us?"
Yan Zhanjin looked him directly in the eye. "When someone is willing to use their body to protect you from harm, you should never let that person slip from your fingers." He paused, his gaze softening. "Or you will regret it for the rest of your life." He frowned and walked back to the house. "I'm not so lucky to have a guard like Yingjie has Mingyang, or you have Yongzheng."
Yan Zhanjin gave Xue Horan a back a brief, comforting pat—a gesture of quiet reassurance—before turning and disappearing back into the house, leaving Xue Horan alone once more to watch the empty road and continue his anxious vigil for Yongzheng.
Xue Horan murmured, "Why am I not feeling as lucky as you said?"
Xue Horan looked out at the dark road. He thought deeply: he had a person willing to stand in front of him to protect him from harm, but he wouldn't be lucky enough to spend the rest of his life with that person. Xue Horan looked up at the dark sky and closed his eyes. Tears slipped from the corners of his eyes.
When the wind blew by him, he felt a sudden chill. He murmured, "Yongzheng." He continued to stand and wait.
Then, he felt a gentle breath directly behind him. Xue Horan was utterly surprised; he hadn't even sensed a person standing there until that person slowly stroked his hair. His entire body froze in terror.
The man placed his hand on Xue Horan's back, and Xue Horan immediately felt his internal force flow back to the center of his chest. Xue Horan felt like his chest was going to burst open, and his lips trembled fiercely. He felt a chilling sense that his energy was draining out of his body.
Xue Horan wanted to cry out, but he couldn't move. Immediately afterward, Xue Horan suddenly felt an extremely powerful, concentrated force pass through him. He spat a mouthful of blood. He turned his gaze to the road and saw a man dressed in black who had long white hair slowly walking past him.
The man spoke in a cold, echoing voice as he walked away from Xue Horan, "You don't look like him, why do everyone think you look like him?"