***Warning: sexual content***
In the secluded backyard of his bamboo hut, Cao Wenyan slowly and methodically placed one joss paper after another into the brazier. The flames consumed the offerings, symbolizing his profound, unending grief. He looked steadily at Mu Dishi's spirit tablet, raising the wine jar to it before drinking deeply.
He stared into the burning flame and sighed sadly, a deep, weary sound. "Mu gongzi, in this lifetime, I will never meet another person like you again." He picked up the wine jar and drank it empty in one gulp, then violently threw the spent jar aside.
He recited a poetic lament, his voice thick with sorrow and alcohol. "The tone of voice you speak still rings, a phantom warmth the empty pillow brings. The world keeps spinning, bright and crass, while every sunrise reminds me that you're gone... my love, my lost one, what is left of me, is just a shadow clinging to your memory. I whisper to the wind a silent, solemn vow, I'll carry your light within me, somehow now."
He took three steps and fell to his knees before Mu Dishi's spirit tablet. He cried slightly, the tears mixing with the wine on his face. "Mu gongzi... if you'd chosen me instead of Ma Jingguo that day, you wouldn't have ended up so tragically. Mu gongzi..."
He slowly stood up, grabbed another full wine jar, and walked away, his steps heavy, toward his waiting horse carriage.
It was long after midnight when the horse carriage finally stopped before the main gate of Beixing Sect. Still holding the wine jar, Cao Wenyan walked directly into the room where Xue Horan was being held. He placed two jars of wine on the table and continued to drink; his eyes fixed on the young man chained in the corner.
He spoke to Xue Horan, but his words were clearly meant for the ghost he saw superimposed on the captive's face. "Those we love deeply in our heart never truly leave us. There are things in life that even death cannot touch. After so many months, I still think about you every day..." He poured the wine into the teacup on the table and continue drinking.
Xue Horan sat quietly, unable to interrupt, forced to listen to Cao Wenyan's drunken complaints and declarations of eternal love, all addressed to a dead man whose likeness he tragically shared.
Cao Wenyan turned to Xue Horan, his eyes now glazed and unfocused from the wine. "They said you look like Mu gongzi, but to me, you don't look like him." He drank his cup dry. "Mu gongzi is a man with a peerless beauty, and no one can compare." He poured himself another cup. "He placed himself so high, I will never reach him, but I am willing to replace everything in my life if I can see his beautiful eyes again."
He looked at Xue Horan, and a sudden, violent surge of anger replaced the sadness. He threw the cup at Xue Horan, but the cup struck the floor. "Just because everyone thinks you look like Mu gongzi. It doesn't mean that you are him and deserve the same respect as him."
Cao Wenyan continued to drink until he finished the first jar of wine. He then threw the empty jar at Xue Horan. Xue Horan instinctively ducked to the left, and the jar slammed against the side of the bed, shattering into many fragments. A small fragment flew up and cut Xue Horan's left forehead.
As the blood dripped slowly down onto Xue Horan's cheek and chin, Cao Wenyan stared at the innocent, wide eyes, and his heart seemed to ache. His anger vanished, replaced by a tender, yet horrifying delusion. He slowly walked to Xue Horan's side, took out his handkerchief, and gently began to wipe the blood.
He spoke softly, his voice full of protective affection. "Mu gongzi, are you alright? Tell me, who dares to hurt you? I'm trying my best to save you, and no one can take you away from me."
Xue Horan recoiled and shoved Cao Wenyan away. He shouted, "Go away!"
Cao Wenyan grabbed Xue Horan into his arms and began to kiss him fiercely. He mumbled into the kiss, "Mu gongzi, I love you just like Ma Jingguo loves you, but why do you sleep with him and don't sleep with me? I don't mind being second to Ma Jingguo. I don't care if you once belonged to Ma Jingguo. I can accept everything good or bad about you."
Xue Horan screamed, struggling with all his might to get free. "Let go of me! Go away!"
Cao Wenyan, blinded by obsession, began to violently tear apart Xue Horan's robe. Within moments, Xue Horan's soft upper body was clearly visible. Cao Wenyan's obsession with the dead Mu Dishi drowned him deeper into his delusional world.
Cao Wenyan picked Xue Horan up and slammed his body onto the bed. He began to untie Xue Horan's belt and forcibly remove his pants. After several attempts, Xue Horan, whose right hand was still handcuffed to the bed frame, was completely naked. Xue Horan managed to press himself all the way against the wall, eyes wide with terror.
Cao Wenyan began to take off his own clothes. He stood in front of the cowering Xue Horan and said, his voice husky with intent, "Mu gongzi, whatever Ma Jingguo can do, I can do too."
Xue Horan screamed, tears and panic overwhelming him. "Go away! Please don't approach! Go away!" He screamed a final, desperate plea. "Zhen ge, help me!"
Cao Wenyan ignored the screams, rage flashing at the disruption of his fantasy. He grabbed Xue Horan's feet and pulled him down violently to the end of the bed. Xue Horan's struggles annoyed him, and Cao Wenyan struck Xue Horan's stomach twice with a dull thud.
The two punches to his stomach knocked the wind completely out of him. Xue Horan felt Cao Wenyan pull his legs down to the end of the bed, leaving his exposed bottom hanging slightly in the air. He felt Cao Wenyan's hard member and warm body pressing violently against his left groin. Then he felt Cao Wenyan hit him on his left chest again. Cao Wenyan had completely overpowered him.
Xue Horan cried and pleaded desperately, "Please don't do this! Please… please, I'm begging you! I'm not Mu Dishi! I'm not the person you like! Please let me go…"
Cao Wenyan, completely lost in his drunken delusion, couldn't hear Xue Horan's words at all. "Mu gongzi, I love you," he slurred. He brutally pushed his member into Xue Horan's backdoor and slowly began to thrust. He pinned Xue Horan beneath him, and while exerting the forceful thrusts, he began to kiss Xue Horan.
Xue Horan cried out in agonizing pain. "Please stop! It hurts… Please… It hurts!" No matter how much Xue Horan begged, Cao Wenyan showed no sign of stopping what he was doing.
As Cao Wenyan continued to thrust, Xue Horan burst out into racking tears. He had never imagined that a man could treat another man with such cruel violation. He felt his backdoor begin to rip bit by bit, and the harder Cao Wenyan thrust, the more excruciating the pain inflicted upon him.
Xue Horan cried and closed his eyes. He called out, "Ah... ah... Yongzheng, please help me! Yongzheng... Yongzheng..." He desperately felt that if he called Yongzheng's name loudly enough, Yongzheng would emerge from the darkness, just like he had done many times before. "Yongzheng..."
He felt and smelled Cao Wenyan's strong wine-laced breath panting in his left ear. He tasted the heavy scent of wine. He heard Cao Wenyan continue to whisper "Mu gongzi, I love you" in his ear. The torture felt like it would never stop, but finally, Cao Wenyan released inside Xue Horan. Cao Wenyan then rolled down from Xue Horan's belly and lay heavily beside him.
Xue Horan slowly pushed his ravaged body back toward the wall. He could not sit down because of the searing pain on his bottom. He had to shift to an inclined position to avoid the inflicted agony. He felt that his bottom was completely soaked.
A sudden, frantic series of knocks came from outside the door. Cao Wenyan was instantly pulled from his drunken stupor. "What's the matter?" he snapped, his voice rough.
A night watchman called through the door, his voice tense. "Young master, the stables are on fire!"
Cao Wenyan sat up, walked to the table, and lit a candle. He turned around, and the flickering light illuminated the scene: Xue Horan was naked, pressed against the wall, staring at Cao Wenyan with utter horror.
The sight seemed to momentarily pierce Cao Wenyan's drunken haze. He sighed, a weary note of finality in his voice. "I will be responsible for you." He quickly dressed himself and strode out of the room, leaving the door ajar in his haste to deal with the emergency.
Alone and devastated, Xue Horan sobbed uncontrollably, the pain and the trauma crushing him. "Yongzheng… Yongzheng… Why haven't you appeared yet?" He continued to weep, the silence of the room amplifying his despair.