A written exam. It had to be a written exam. Naruto sat quietly for a few moments, allowing himself a chance to fully process this information.
Why in the name of Senju Hashirama did they make it a log-damned written exam?
Not that he was stupid or anything, but sitting down to write essays and work out equations was not his area of expertise, as Iruka could attest. On top of that, these questions were impossible! Well, unless you were Sakura... or Shikamaru... or anyone else, seeing as pretty much everyone else was already writing.
Naruto gulped, picking up his pencil and covering up his paper, pretending to write as he thought over what he knew for certain. 'So we can't cheat, or we lose points... but why have the punishment so light? If Iruka-sensei caught someone cheating, they'd automatically fail, and that was just the academy, not an official thing like this... So maybe they do want us to cheat, but not get caught... Which is okay for someone who has some way of doing it. Well, time to do something stupid.'
Sasuke finished copying the answers, deactivating his sharingan, and the genjutsu he'd placed to hide them. Sakura was probably okay, and Naruto... well, Sakura was probably okay, anyway.
"Number 77, what's the problem? You want to quit already?" came the sarcastic voice of Ibiki, worrying Sasuke as he turned back to see... of course. Who else?
"Not a chance. But I do have a question for you, proctor-san," Naruto drawled, expression serious. "Can I get the answers off you?"
Oh sweet merciful Kami, he was being serious.
Ibiki blinked, caught off-guard. His expression didn't change, however, as he stared down the genin who'd actually managed to surprise him. "Weren't you warned against cheating?"
"If you give them to me, it's not cheating." Well, not like they really expected Naruto to get through this without managing to piss someone off. Pity it had to be the guy who decided whether or not they passed.
Ibiki raised an eyebrow, scowling. "Well then, wise guy, why don't you give me one good reason why I should help you?"
"Because crazy snake lady knows you, and I'm pretty sure I can get your address from her." And he'd moved on to threats. This was going swimmingly.
A long silence followed, in which three teams were eliminated, by way of chuunin literally grabbing people before using Shunshin, dragging them out of the room.
"Are you seriously threatening me?" the proctor smirked, a dangerous tone entering his voice.
"I am saying things which are true, without indicating whether or not my statements carry any connotations beyond the obvious." Excellent. Plan 'A for Annoy' was going as he'd hoped. Naruto had to resist smiling. Iruka-sensei's diplomacy lessons were actually really useful.
"... well played, kid," Ibiki muttered, pulling out a sheet of paper and handing it to Naruto, who grinned happily. "Just so no-one gets any ideas, this will not be a viable stratgey for anyone else!"
"But that's not fair! You're just favouring your own village!" snapped a Getsugakure shinobi, before flinching at Ibiki's death glare.
"What I'm doing is covering up a loophole in the rules, one that he pointed out to me. If you wanted to ask for the answers, you should have spoken up before this brat got the chance," Ibiki said, unleashing a wave of Killing Intent. "Don't try and accuse me of cheating." he growled.
The genin seemed to regain his self-preservation, as Naruto handed back the sheet of answers. "Thanks very much, proctor-san!" he chirped happily, turning over his sheet and humming happily.
Sasuke repressed a groan. Trust Naruto to paint a nice big target on their backs before they even got into the fighting.
OoOoO
Iruka coughed, rolled over and pushed himself to his feet, noting that he appeared to be in a cave, instead of the battlefield he remembered.
First things first. He closed his eyes, not that it made much of a difference when he was underground, and pulsed his chakra out as far as he could. The echoes it created showed that he was standing in the dead end of a corridor, with nothing moving within range. Still, that meant there was only one way to go to try and find the others.
Even if the place was creepy as hell.
"Raiton: Senkou." he grumbled, focusing chakra into his palm, creating a soft glow in front of him. Placing one hand on the wall, he made his way down the corridor, pulsing his chakra every few seconds to try and get some warning of what was to come.
He was not going to get caught off-guard if he could help it.
Well, not a second time, at least.
OoOoO
Anko mumbled, waking up to find her hand clutching Haku's throat. Served him right for waking her. Oh dear, he seemed to be turning blue under all that yellow... interesting shade of green. She dropped him with a sigh and sat up, before flinching.
Skeletons, or what was left of them, scattered on the floor of what was obviously a cell, lit by torches. On a whim, Anko tried to flare her chakra. Nothing. Seemed like Uzushio had chakra suppressors on their prisons. Good policy. Annoying as hell for anyone in them, though.
"So, you're finally up, huh?" came a voice from the next cell over. Zabuza stood there, glaring through the bars. "Whatever it was Umino did to get us out of that barrier dropped us in here, with no chakra to make our way out. Hopefully, if he hasn't gotten himself killed, we can get him to deactivate the seals on the doors," he grunted, staring at a dusty Kirigakure hitae-ate. "Looks like we found the rest of Unit 12, anyway."
"Oh, so these were... " "Yes." Zabuza snapped, his tone leaving no room for questions. Anko decided now would be a good time to shut up.
Wouldn't do to provoke him until they could fight properly.
OoOoO
"Alright, your time is up. I will now give the tenth question," Ibiki announced, gritting his teeth as he glanced at Naruto. 'Damn brat.' "But first... a couple of additional rules..."
Sakura flinched as the proctor continued, explaining how if they chose to take the question, they risked losing their chance to ever be promoted. Whatever about herself, being a genin would cripple Sasuke and Naruto's chances to achieve their dreams. Without a higher rank, the Uchiha would be vetoed on any decision he tried to make by the council, and no genin had ever even been considered for a Kage position.
No way she could let them sacrifice their careers for hers. They'd be annoyed over losing their first chance at promotion, but better that than-
"Like hell I'm gonna quit!" Well, Naruto seemed to be enjoying himself as he stood up and glared at Ibiki.
"Even if you can keep me from becoming a chuunin, I'll still become Hokage! You can't keep people from reaching their dreams!" he snarled, glaring intently at Ibiki.
"So you'll risk your teammates' careers as well? If they get it wrong, they can never again enter these exams, remember?" the scarred man smirked. "Are you really being that selfish?"
"We won't quit, either," Sasuke grunted, drawing attention away from Naruto. "If we give up when things get hard, we don't deserve to call ourselves shinobi."
Sakura suppressed a sigh. They were being idiots again, throwing themselves blindly at the challenges ahead without thinking things through. She raised her arm slowly, before slamming it against the desk.
They were her idiots, though.
"Team Seven doesn't back down. You might as well give us the last question now, proctor-san." she grinned, looking at Naruto's blinding smile and Sasuke's approving nod. "Naruto isn't risking our careers, we are."
Ibiki glared at the trio before looking over the rest of the remaining teams. "I'm assuming you all feel the same way?" he asked, almost snarling. "Because, if that's the case, then I have to say... you all pass. Congratulations." he smiled, shocking the assembled genin into silence.
"So then the test was pointless?" one particularly brave and/or foolish Kusa genin asked incredulously. "Take the last question, you pass? That's it?"
"The first nine questions were to test your information gathering skills. If you're spying on an enemy village and get caught, you're bringing trouble right back to your village. As to the tenth question..." Ibiki muttered, undoing his bandana to show a scalp riddled with scars. "Every time you go on a mission, you're taking your life and the lives of your teammates in your hands. If someone isn't brave enough to risk their chances for a promotion, how can they be trusted not to abandon their missions out of fear?" Tying the cloth back around his head, he looked out at the stunned crowd.
"Your examiner for the second test should be here right about... now." he grinned, before a wooden statue began rising slowly through the floor, blank eyes staring at them all. Then it blinked.
"Quite the group you've got here, Ibiki. I thought we'd have maybe a dozen teams after your exam," it muttered, before clolour began spreading across its surface, revealing a brown-haired shinobi wearing a face-guard style hitae-ate. "My name is Tenzo, and I will be your examiner for the next test. Report to Training Ground 44 in 15 minutes." A shadow fell over Tenzo's face as he left them a warning.
"Don't be late."
Naruto shivered. "That guy is really scary..." Sasuke just stared at him.
"We've trained with Anko and Zabuza, and you think that guy's scary? You've got problems."
OoOoO
Iruka groaned as he came to another crossroads along his path. This place was a maze, and he still had no idea where the others were. He'd been wandering for hours, with nothing moving in range of his chakra pulses. That said, there was definitely something there, just beyond the maze. He could feel it.
Coming to a stone door, he carefully examined the area before activating the seal. The Uzushio defense system seemed to be based on driving the enemy insane with paranoia and general hijinks before unleashing the actual defenses. It opened into... a library? Yep, books and scrolls scattered around on worn-down shelves. Iruka stepped forwards, grabbing as many as he could and mentally categorising them as "Useful", "Less Useful", "No Idea What This Is", and "Keep On Hand". The last of these cosisted of a pile of maps and sealing guides. He scrambled to store all of them in his own scrolls before turning to leave, to check out the armory and prison compound marked on the map, before pulling to a shocked halt.
Seeing a ghost will do that to you.