I stroke the white horse I am riding lovingly before getting off.
we are currently at the river, the one called flowing souls. Such an eerie name for a beautiful river.
I move towards the bank, where the hands of the water caress the soft bosom of the land.
I feel the water rush forward and stop just in front of me, kissing the tips of my shoes.
I close my eyes and think of nothing but happiness.
The first time I went hunting with him, my jayjay. The feel of his hands on my body, the fire in his eyes when they roam over my body, that lust, that desire.
The way he laughs, the way he adores me, that is happiness.
Just then, I catch a weak scent of blood in the air. It is appetizing, my stomach churns and makes loud noises, and my legs take off of their own will in search of food.
There's blood everywhere. I am covered in blood. A man lay in front of me pale as ash, his hands clutching his neck, eyes bulged out in terror.
But I feel no guilt, none at all.
My eyes widen In pleasure. JayJay wouldn't approve of it, but this is what we are.
His ideas are Noble, but you can't deny your nature and still be you.
Humans have never denied their nature. They give in to their pleasures and cravings all the time. Animals are slaughtered for their satisfaction, as food. How is that any different from what I have just done?
I lick my fingers, enjoying the scent of the drying blood on them, he was truly a delicacy.
This part of me is a part he will never see, never.


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 After what felt like an eternity, I began to feel it, the cold, but it was just my heart that felt it. The other parts of me became numb, I didn't feel anything or hear anything or see anything, just the cold in my heart and the darkness, the black sea.
I didn't go inside it, I sat at the bank of the sea and listened to the silence of the water. I knew the thoughts of the black sea, I could feel its consciousness, its desires and fears, it feared me, so I sat and watched. Then a lady with white flowing hair approached me, she had on a white wedding dress, she was beautiful. She stood at the mouth of the sea, where the water kissed the land and she beckoned to me, but I didn't see her, I only saw the silence and the black sea.
"you have to accept me in" she says with a cocky voice.
"why"
"why? I am the power, I am the beauty, I am the awakened, you are nothing without me"
"you're wrong" I say, standing up and turning my back to her. I walk a little distance then stop,
"you're nothing but a restless voice who needs me to exist" and I was gone with the wind, back to where I belonged, back to the arms of my loving boyfriend and his best friend.

"I am really proud of the way you are stepping up to things around here, the pack already see you as their alpha, the company has been running smoothly, you're a natural leader bella..." .


Uncle marion was going on and on and all I can think of is the man and the voices and the plan I have.


I need to use their own channel against them, firstly I am not even sure it's in my mind, secondly, I don't know if it was something cataline did to give them access or if it is a spell of theirs.


 I need to go back, consciously access Catalines life, my past life, and see if there's anything there that can help me. 


That means I need to tell micheal, I don't know how long I'll be out and besides I need Beatrice's help incase anything goes wrong she can pull me back out.


"Uncle stop talking like you're dying anytime soon, I'm just filling in for you, so you can rest and get better, so don't think you can push all your responsibilities to me, I'm too young for that" I argue stubbornly. 


Chapter 82 - JASON again