"Hehehe, it's been a long time, Lady Draig, Lady Kayda." "Unmun Kuni," he said as he bowed respectfully toward the three of us, his hands clasped together in front of him with stiff formality.
'Huh, hammer user? His daughter has the same class… But why is the dumbass a smith? That kind of mismatch is a special talent. Whatever, it's got nothing to do with me.' I thought, side-eyeing the woman next to him—his wife, I assumed. At first glance, she appeared plain, but when I looked at the kids still kneeling on the floor, it became clear that she resembled them. Same eyes, same scowl when annoyed.
"You're a chef?" I blurted out without filtering, eyes still on her. It wasn't meant as an insult, more like surprise. She didn't look the part.
Her only response was a gentle, amused smile, the kind you'd expect from someone who'd heard that reaction one too many times. Unmun, on the other hand, looked absolutely delighted by my question.
"Hehe, yes, she is the best chef ever," he said proudly, practically puffing his chest out like a rooster as he gestured at the beautifully arranged snack platters on the table.
"I can smell that she's a great chef," I said, not bothering to hide my interest. I took one of the small plates from the side and began filling it with an aggressive level of snack-to-plate ratio. It was difficult to tell what half of it was, but it smelled divine.
"Kitsu, everyone needs to get some," Mom said, giving me that parental eyebrow lift. Too bad I was immune to that trick by now.
"Not everyone. You two aren't getting any," I said, glaring between her and Kayda as I shielded my plate from their greedy gazes.
"W-Why?" Mom muttered, her eyes locked on the plate like a starving wolf. I swore her pupils were turning into swirls.
"You dragged me to a family meeting that's not even about our family," I said plainly, leaning back with my plate held to my chest like a guarded treasure.
"But—"
"I don't care." I cut her off coldly, taking a bite of one of the fried-looking snacks and staring her dead in the eyes. It was a petty kind of power move, but worth it.
Mom slumped back in defeat, while Kayda sighed as if she were used to these battles.
"So… what are your guys' plans?" Kayda asked, nodding toward the two Kuni brats still kneeling in silent shame.
"That… we can't do anything," Unmun said after a pause, his voice carrying a heavy weight of resignation.
"What do you mean you can't do anything?" Kayda asked, her brow twitching. That tone of annoyance was rising quickly.
"They're high dwarfs," he said quietly, as if that one statement was supposed to explain everything.
"…"
"…"
"And you?" Kayda said, shifting her sharp gaze to the mother.
"I don't do that kind of thing," the woman replied with a perfectly calm tone, her face unreadable.
"You… you don't scold your children?" Kayda repeated the question, blinking as if she had misheard it.
"Yes."
There was a moment of pure silence.
"Sigh… What do I expect? All dwarfs are worship maniacs."
"What?" I asked, confused at the weird bitterness in her muttering.
"Ah, dwarfs worship things easily," Mom muttered, leaning closer to Kayda with a slight frown.
"Wow. That is not something I would have expected," I said, flicking my ears in irritation. The more I heard, the more annoyed I felt.
"Uh…" a soft sound came from the kneeling kids. I turned to find Ranina staring at my ears with sparkles in her eyes, the kind of look I only ever saw from people who were either too curious or too stupid.
I immediately felt a deep wave of discomfort wash over me and shot a glance at Kayda—who also noticed. But unlike my uncomfortable squirm, her glare was pure menace.
"Shorty, don't even think about touching those. Your name, Kuni, won't be able to save you," Kayda warned, her voice low and heavy with threat.
"R-Right, I won't do anything!" Ranina's brother blurted out his response while turning pale and visibly sweating.
"Who said you could talk?" Kayda snapped, glaring at him next.
"EEP!"
"Sigh, we're not getting anywhere," I muttered, dragging a hand down my face.
"Yeah… So guys, why don't you just educate your kids properly?" Kayda said, raising an eyebrow at the two utterly useless parents.
"As we said, we can't do that," the Kuni patriarch replied again, shaking his head like a worn-out teacher giving up on students.
"Sigh… Just send them to the Draig territory. We'll sort them out," Mom said bluntly.
"But—"
"No buts. We can't let kids like them take over a marquis house," Mom said, narrowing her eyes, her voice leaving no room for argument.
"I don't approve," Mr. Kuni said, glaring at her with rare defiance.
"What are you going to do? Swing your little hammer at me? Come on, please—everyone knows you don't have the courage to even try it," Mom shot back with a scoff and a sarcastic smile.
Oh, it's getting really interesting now. 'Though honestly, I understand him being afraid of Mom,' I thought as I kept nibbling my snacks with a satisfied hum. Who needed popcorn?
"This is my kids we're talking about! Who knows what they'll become after you're done with them!" the man argued, trying to hold firm.
"Uh… they will probably become better than trash," I said, still focused on the plate in my hand.
"Ah! They are not trash!" he shouted, standing up briefly before slumping back down.
"I beg to differ. People—or humanoids—who attack innocent weaklings don't deserve to be anything but trash," I said, still not looking at him.
"…"
"…"
Kayda and Mom both looked at me, clearly waiting for a follow-up explanation.
"I've never attacked an innocent person with malice," I said, sighing.
"True," they mutually agreed, shrugging as if it wasn't a big deal.
"But you do attack weak people a lot," Mom muttered casually, making me shoot her a quick glare.
"That's something I can't defend myself against," I said, turning back to my plate.
"Hah! So you're no—"
"Hold your horses. I said innocent. I've never attacked innocent people, okay?" I interrupted, narrowing my eyes at Mr. Kuni.
"Grr…"
"Now it's settled. They'll come to the Draigs with us," Mom declared, as if that was the end of the matter.
"Why now?" Kayda asked, groaning at the thought.
"Because we're here and heading to the territory tomorrow," Mom said simply.
"Tsk… I don't like the Kunis at all," I muttered, grabbing a second plate of snacks.
"Kitsu, you're going to get fat~," Kayda teased with a smirk.
"You!!" I started to argue—before the world shook.
Boom!
Multiple explosions echoed outside, the walls of the mansion trembling slightly. My body stiffened immediately.
Mom was already serious-faced, her expression unreadable. The Kuni head looked like he'd been dunked in ice water—pale and gloomy.
"What's going on?" Kayda asked sharply, glancing between them.
"Dwarf. Tell us what's going on," Mom growled, grabbing a fistful of Unmun's hair.
"W-We don't know!" He stuttered, still refusing to make eye contact.
'Why, why, why does shit always hit the fan when I'm nearby?!' I screamed internally, rage bubbling just under my skin as screams from outside grew louder.
"Kitsu, calm down?" Kayda said gently, placing a hand on my shoulder.
"Tsk. Fuck my bad luck!" I shouted, huffing afterward, the pressure around me flaring.
"Please do explain what's going on," Mom said coldly, still gripping Kuni's head like a bowling ball.
"The fucking Devil Cult freaks are here," I hissed, eyes glowing faintly with killing intent as I glanced at the window.
"How!?" Kayda said, more shocked than scared.
"How? You really don't know what's going on in this kingdom? I had my suspicions, but damn, you're worse than I thought," I muttered, glaring daggers at the Kuni head.
"How many?" Mom asked, finally releasing her grip on the man's scalp.
"Fuck knows. But the useless horny females are already fighting them," I muttered, walking to the window to get a better look.
"Winning?" Mom asked, grabbing my snack plate and holding it hostage.
"What do you think? If they were losing to those cultists, I'd kill them myself," I said, watching dark-cloaked bodies litter the streets below.
"Horny?" Kayda said, blinking at me.
"You didn't see? The twins are all over Canada. Nekro and Apricot are already head over heels too," I said, shaking my head in frustration.
"You?" they both said at once, blinking in confusion.
"Why are you two so confused? Isn't it obvious?"
"Yes, but… you're not actually that—"
"Don't even finish that sentence. I swear I will rip your arms off," I growled, my glare cutting through the air.
"Hahaha," Mom laughed, amused.
"You guys are making jokes while we're under attack?" Mrs. Kuni asked, absolutely baffled.
"What is there to worry about? It's not like they'll get anywhere near this room," Kayda said with a shrug.
"Ah, but I want to fight too," I said, my eyes sparkling slightly.
"I also want to capture one or two. Maybe we can get something out of them," Mom added, still not giving back my snacks.
"That might be tricky," I said. "They know about me. They've probably prepped better this time."
"Yeah, but that's for you, not me."
"And?"
"There is a big difference, my dear daughter," Mom said before casually slamming Kuni's head into the table and knocking him out.
Bang!
"There," I muttered as she walked toward the exit.
"How can she be so brutal to my baby?" Madam Kuni cried, cradling her husband's limp body.
"Why should she be nice to someone as useless as him?" I said this bluntly while shaking my head and turning to leave.
"Be careful, okay? They know about you," Kayda said.
"I will. You take care of this mess," I said, waving as I stepped out and closed the door behind me.
"Sigh… Always dumping the most annoying problems on me."