Eirlys had been perfectly content before Thor decided to bring Jane Foster into the preparations, she was what irritated her most. She had been sitting with Sif, looking through arrangements and making decisions without much trouble, when Thor had appeared with Jane and introduced her as someone who could apparently help. Eirlys had smiled politely at the mortal, because she had been raised better than to openly insult a guest, but inwardly she had been furious. As if she would allow some mortal she already disliked to tell her how her own wedding should be arranged.
Jane had barely begun offering suggestions before Eirlys had rejected the first one, then the second, and then the third. By the fourth, even Sif had begun looking suspiciously amused. Eirlys knew exactly what Jane was trying to do. She was attempting to be helpful, perhaps even trying to make herself useful to Thor's family, but Eirlys had no desire to hear suggestions from the woman who had somehow become the reason Thor's heart belonged elsewhere. She had no intention of allowing Jane to influence a single decision.
This was her wedding. If anyone thought she would quietly accept suggestions simply because Jane was Thor's chosen mortal, they had clearly forgotten who Eirlys Freyadóttir was.
Jane, apparently undeterred by the earlier refusals, eventually brightened as though she had thought of something far more suitable. "What about a bachelorette party?"
Eirlys stared at her come to with another dumb idea For several seconds, she genuinely wondered whether Jane understood who she was speaking to. "A what?"
"A bachelorette party," Jane repeated, smiling. "You know, before the wedding. Just the bride and her friends. Something fun like a night out, maybe music, dancing, drinks, something to celebrate before everything gets serious."
Eirlys's expression remained perfectly polite. "No."
Jane blinked. "No?"
"No."
"It could be fun."
"I am sure it could." There was something in Eirlys's tone that made Sif suddenly look away, clearly hiding another smirk.
Jane tried once more. "It doesn't have to be anything huge."
"I said no." The finality in Eirlys's voice left no room for another suggestion.
Jane slowly nodded, her enthusiasm fading. Thor had been watching the exchange from nearby, increasingly uncomfortable. He finally moved toward Jane and gently guided her toward a quieter corner of the room, lowering his voice as Eirlys continued reviewing the preparations with Sif. "Do not take it personally."
Jane looked at him. "She really doesn't like any of my ideas."
Thor glanced toward Eirlys. She was currently rejecting another arrangement with a calmness that somehow made her irritation even more obvious. "She is not usually this hostile," he assured Jane. She raised an eyebrow when he hesitated before continuing, "I think it is probably the wedding."
"The wedding?"
"The nerves," he explained. "Everything happening so quickly, all these preparations, everyone watching her. She has always had a strong temper when she feels pressured."
Jane looked back at Eirlys, unconvinced, as Thor gave her shoulder a reassuring squeeze. "She will settle down."
Neither of them noticed Eirlys glance over, she had heard every word. And the hint that she was merely nervous about marrying Loki did absolutely nothing to improve her mood.
Loki had seen everything as well. He had been standing far enough away to avoid becoming involved, but close enough to observe the entire exchange. He had watched Jane offer one suggestion after another, only for Eirlys to dismiss each with increasing impatience. By now, it was obvious that Eirlys was not merely tired of wedding preparations. She was irritated with Thor for bringing Jane into something that Eirlys considered entirely her own, and Jane had unfortunately become the easiest target for that irritation. Loki found the situation almost amusing. Almost.
He had no particular desire to defend Jane, but he did recognize an opportunity when one presented itself. If Thor insisted on playing the sympathetic companion while Jane tried to help, perhaps Loki could take the opposite approach. He could be reasonable, supportive, and agreeable. The good husband-to-be. It was a role he suspected would look surprisingly convincing on him.
When Jane finally fell silent, Loki approached Eirlys with an expression of mild consideration. "You could give one of her ideas a try."
Eirlys slowly turned toward him, as Loki continued before she could object. "The celebration, for instance. It may not be entirely unreasonable."
He expected her to reject him as she had rejected Jane. Instead, she studied him with narrowed eyes. Loki interpreted her silence differently. He assumed she simply did not understand what Midgardians actually did during such celebrations. Eirlys had spent comparatively little time on Earth, after all. Asgardian traditions surrounding marriage were very different, and Loki doubted anyone had bothered explaining every ridiculous Midgardian custom to her. Perhaps, he thought, he could make himself appear particularly accommodating by encouraging her to experience one. What he did not know was that Eirlys knew perfectly well what a bachelorette party involved.
She had heard enough stories from visiting Midgardians, seen enough glimpses of their entertainment, and learned enough about the customs surrounding such celebrations to know exactly what Jane had been suggesting. She knew about the drinking and the dancing. And she certainly knew about the men who were occasionally hired to entertain brides-to-be and bridesmaids in considerably less clothing than any respectable Asgardian would consider necessary.
Loki had walked directly into a trap without realizing there was one. Eirlys folded her arms across her chest and looked at him with an expression of such calm innocence that Loki should have been suspicious.
"So," she began, "you would be perfectly comfortable with your wife drinking at such a celebration?"
Loki hesitated with the answer and Eirlys continued before he could answer. "Letting almost naked men dance for her?"
His brows lifted slightly as she watched the realization slowly begin to appear on his face. "And perhaps," she added, her voice becoming sweeter, "give her a lap dance?"
Loki stared at her and Eirlys tilted her head for the final reply. "Sure."
There was a silence, a very satisfying silence. Loki's carefully constructed expression of reasonable support vanished almost instantly. He opened his mouth, clearly preparing some clever response, but for once the words did not arrive quickly enough.
Eirlys raised one eyebrow and leaned in to prompt. "Well?"
He looked at her for several moments, suddenly wondering whether agreeing to be the reasonable one had been the stupidest decision he had made all day. "You seem remarkably informed about Midgardian customs."
"I make it a point to know what people are suggesting before I agree to it."
That answer somehow made him feel even more foolish. Across the room, Thor had noticed the exchange. He looked from Eirlys to Loki, then back again, apparently trying to determine what had just happened. Sif, however, understood immediately. She covered her mouth, but the laugh escaped anyway. Loki shot her an irritated glance making Eirlys simply smile at his reaction. Because, the trickster had found someone to outsmart himself.