Being a mother of three children I had done my job from being a mother to being their friend. I had done everything I could from giving them privacy and freedom to scolding them when things went wrong. I was there when my son got his arm broken from a football match and even there when my daughter's went crazy about their new boyfriend.
Richard was the eldest among the three. He had been married for three years and was enjoying his married life. He married the girl he loved, and even went miles after her shifting from New York to Brazil just to get her. They ended up together, guess his hard work payed off.
He had recently moved to London for his work. the couple had also been blessed with a newborn baby, Edward.
After Richard, I was blessed with two twins, they didn't look alike neither they behaved, they were poles apart. Kate had taken up her career as a photographer and was exploring the world. I get her postcards and email almost daily explaining all the details of her life. She was always, a trouble maker and had the spark to do something different.
Ella is my only child that was having problems, abe had cut out herself from the world. She was closed up as always never exploring, the books she read were her world. She often said that she is content with seeing the world from others eyes. She was always the polite one, never wanting lime light or attention to reach her way.
I wanted her to live her life to the fullest especially after her near-death experience. Live doesn't always have second chances and she was lucky that she had got it. I yet feel the chills when I remember about the time, when death seemed so near to her, I would spend hours crying in the kitchen. Going to church on Sunday, begging for my daughter's life.
Last year when she had taken the job at the editorial board committee, I thought she was ready to explore but no she did all her work from home or went to the office, declined all the tours to explore the world.
Last month I and my husband George had started to put pressure on her to get her out of her bubbled up life, cause we wanted her to know how much life had to offer. But to get her to do something and most importantly, to get out of the dull life she was happy to live in.
1 month back she asked to live away and get herself a new home. I would have agreed but I knew if we agreed on this she would find her hiding spot and would never leave it, like a sloth who spends most of its life sleeping.
The fact that I raised all the child with the same care and love but yet they all seem to be so different from each other. This reminds me that I need to handle them all with a different approach, so for Ella's mission trouble was the only approach I could think of.
She acted rebelliously, children tend to do the opposite of what they are told so she did the same. Last night she broke the news that she was going to Paris to write a report on some restaurant.
Being her mother I know how hard would have it been for her to go out of her way to avoid the drama of us always nagging about her dull life.
She thinks she has excelled in making us leave the topic, little does she know that she is doing what we are expecting. I wish I could hold her and tell her that I am proud of her to take this step, but I won't cause sometimes we have to suppress our feelings but deep down I am rooting for her. Cheering her in my special way.
"A small step will be the cause of a miracle. A small step will give us the courage to roar into the night sky"
But she doesn't know how to pack her bag, all I can see are pairs of clothes piled up together and stocked inside a bag. I am gonna go crazy, but anything to let her live her second chance to the fullest.
A sexy lingerie won't hurt I guess, she looks stunning in black. You never know when you need what. So I stock up her bag in an arranged manner, so she doesn't have any problem to find anything.
I just love my kids, and tears leave my eyes, when I remember the first time I had given birth to the twins. I was in pain, but I knew it was all worth it the moment I had them both in my arms. They were my precious jewels.
George and I decided to go out on a trip ourselves, some me time was something we really needed. We used to be wild in our days, and even after 46 years together we loved each other just the day we met. We had married when we were teenagers, you can say we had a typical love story fantasy.
I wanted my kids, to live the same way to feel the importance of love of being together. I wanted them to feel every moment like an electric current flowing.
Just the way things bend, I know memories are the only thread.
I sleep I weep in the memories with joy and sorrow all part of it.
I miss my days, I miss my nest that I had build together with you.
I kiss them goodbye, cause time was only running wild. But I have you yet, beside my morning bed.
I loved writing, guess Ella inherited the trade from me. George used to love reading my letters again and again. He said that the more he read them the more he feel in love with me.