Chapter 53 - Chapter 50

PENULTIMATE EPISODE

Warning

The events, dialogues and actions shown in the next chapter are just fiction. It does not eliminate the fact that what is narrated below is part of reality, used to persuade, help and motivate those who go through similar situations.

What is described here may not be suitable for all audiences. Discretion is recommended.

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Can I be happy? Waking up from the nightmare! Dom's horrible secret!

Hanler | Five weeks before...

I'm a fucking whore.

I love being fucked like a bitch.

I need you to do it.

Always.

—Open your damn mouth. —He spoke in an imperative tone, while I was on my knees and his huge penis was hitting me around my lips and mouth. He had me at his mercy.

The moans of a big, hairy man, who spanked me and took out his cock from time to time to leave me with the feeling of wanting more. —Twin me like what you are, little whore.

And I kept screaming with pleasurable pain. —Ah! —He screamed between gasps, with his body all wet, because of the heat.

The atmosphere was tense, a thick heat came down to me, without stopping moving and moaning as they asked me to. —Don't stop putting it in! —I begged him, squinting and rolling their eyes, swallowing the piece in front of me from time to time.

«If you don't do what I tell you, I'll kill your mom and then you, you fucking faggot» —was what his voice screamed in my head. He kept tormenting me.

And I kept obeying him.

His hoarse, low gasps behind my back, that man who opened his mouth to spit on me. —Swallow it all. —He ordered me while he put it in hard. —Is that how you like it, little whore?

—Mhm —he stated between gasps, with his mouth full.

Erik didn't know I was continuing to do this.

Erik didn't know I couldn't control him.

And it felt like shit.

Lying is wrong.

I know, but he won't leave me alone.

Why could he see him even though he was already dead?

Why did I feel this fear here, stuck in my chest?; that feeling of seeing him enter from anywhere and making my heart race.

There, standing in front of me, were five men making a circle; where they surrounded me and turned me at their mercy to swallow their cocks. It didn't bother me at all anymore; Fear had already completely consumed me.

Everyone hit me and did whatever they wanted with me.

«Be careful if you bite her, son of a bitch!» —Ricardo yelled at me when I did it.

Their cocks surrounded my entire head, I felt their tips wet, their gasps with fever, like hungry animals, as if having my mouth on their cocks calmed them down.

—Come on, little whore. —One of them grabbed me and made me choke on his member. —Swallow it all, my little whore.

And the days went by, I couldn't stop him. Everything was going to shit; I knew it; but I couldn't help it. I came home to Erik and he had fallen asleep on the couch. It looked so beautiful...

I approached him while he slept; and the feeling of having sex was still alive. That it was an obligation to do it because if not, he would kill my mother.

I got on my knees and began to lower the closure to which he was still fast asleep; or so I wanted to think. I pulled his member out of the side of his boxers and he was at his rest, the tip of my tongue met the tip of his glans; He moved it slowly and quickly his member was beginning to take shape, it was hardening and I loved that feeling.

He woke up and looked at me with horror at what I was doing, I didn't stop licking his member and then looking at him. —But what are you doing? —He asked me with a hoarse voice, having just woken up.

—Eat your cock.

—But... —I stopped the conversation, leaving his lips on top of his. He did not give in to resist and carried me on him, without stopping kissing us passionately.

—I'm your little whore. Tell me I'm your whore. —I whimpered in his ear.

He was standing there, in front of the bedroom door; looking at me in the shadows, making fun of me. Because if I didn't tell her what he asked, I would kill her.

My mom must not find out or she will disgust me.

Because he told me. And I believe him.

«Tell him you're his whore. Do it.»

—I'm your little whore, daddy, right? —I tuned my voice, singing the words like an excited woman, Erik's hands met my buttocks that didn't stop moving, he was already wrapped in uncontrollable gasps.

I was moving non-stop, I was really enjoying it. Or so I wanted to believe.

Because if it wasn't as he asked, it would be a nightmare. Worse than it already was.

And Erik told me; —You are my little whore. —He gasped, rubbing his tongue around my neck.

—Yes? I am, daddy. —he continued moaning.

Until he stopped. —What...? What does it mean? What are you?

—You little whore, how did you tell me, daddy.

—I haven't-Hanler.

Everything stopped. He pushed me back even when I wanted to continue. —No. Hanler, can you tell me what's going on? —He got upset, seeing that I didn't pay attention to his arrest from the event.

—Make me yours. Make me a little whore or he's going to kill mom and blame me. —I let go involuntarily and automatically. As if afraid.

—Who Hanler? —He inquired, already standing, looking at me scared.

—No... I can't... —I reduced my desire to fear. Because talking about it made me sick.

—He's your father, right? Does he have you like this? —launched affirmatively.

I nodded, sadly.

And a terrible anguish stuck in my throat. Ricardo was part of my life since I was a child, he was the one who destroyed my childhood and that of his own son. The fear that his manipulation caused me since I was little left me trapped in an empty body that is now governed by internal orders of that sick trauma that he caused.

My throat went dry and I felt a lot of pain.

—I-I'm sorry... I'm very sorry... —I began to say between small tears coming out of my eyes. —I haven't been able to stop... I'm a weak piece of shit.

—But what do you say? —he became excited.

—I've been with them again... I can't help it... —I spoke to him with great fear.

—Them? —a crystalline streak appeared in her tan eyes. —Do you still sleep with men like you did before?

—There never... there never was a before. I never stopped doing it. —I answered sincerely. Although I felt terrible, I couldn't hide anything from him.

Erik looked at me confused. A long tear line ran down her cheek to her chin. I looked for his hands, asking for forgiveness. —I can't help but do it. I'm afraid, I always think that man comes back. I don't feel like I can escape easily.

Erik approached me slowly, if I saw anything in him it was that word called "I understand you, don't be afraid". Not everyone could do that, not everyone would let you be who you are, without walking away. That is to be admired. When I was locked in his arms, feeling the embracing heat of his body; His whispers in my ear gave me hope;—I'm not going to leave you alone. You are the boy I love.

—I don't want it to continue happening, forgive me. I want to be able to make you happy. —he sobbed in his arms.

—You've been through so much that at a time like this, I wouldn't leave you alone. —His tender voice settled in my ear. —I chose to understand you. And it was my decision to be with you. —He put my face in his palms, making me look into his eyes. —And this is just part of the process, I need you to heal. I need to see the you that you wanted to be so much, but in your time. Okay, baby? —that. That made me weak. And even more, the meeting of his lips with mine. Meeting him was the best thing that could have happened to me.

But it didn't eliminate the fact that he didn't know how to stop it. I didn't know how to stop this horrible feeling of fear that his voice in my ear caused me. Is this what it feels like to be destroyed?

«Yell all you want that she's not coming to help you because she wants me to do this to you»

—Promise me you won't leave me. Promise me you're not going to leave me alone. —He wouldn't stop hugging me.

—Enough, enough. I will not leave here. —he spoiled me between kisses. —Together we will get through this, okay?

And I loved that.

I wish that had ended there. The nightmares didn't stop; They couldn't stop because he was coming for me.

The days went by, I hadn't seen mom in days. I couldn't see his face knowing everything he had done, I was ashamed of myself because I knew I would disappoint mom. She must feel horrible for finding out my truth.

Will it disgust me? Could what he told me be true?

Why do I keep doubting it? Why do I still believe in him, if he is already dead? Is it really? Could it be that I won't be able to escape this torment?

I swear to you; Erik was the only thing helping me move forward. He became my anchor, my only hope to be able to cope with this for having shown me that love goes beyond just feeling or expressing it. He showed that he surpasses all the limits we know and that makes him unique.

As the days went by, trying to overcome the hard daily battles against myself and the world around me, I began to think about myself, what my life has been like and how comfortable I feel with my personality, with my essence. Without thinking of anything to make me collapse, I remembered many things from my childhood;

I remembered that January night, even with the trace of cold that the month of December left, when those men mercilessly abused me. When he asked me to dress like a girl and that my name was "Madeleine", Ricardo took it upon himself to point it out because his clients liked that... that my effeminate way brought him profits; the same one for which he tortured me and beat me to death when night fell or we were alone.

I ended up normalizing that name, until I started to escape from it. That monstrous being that brought so many smiles, when I was thirteen years old I begged him to stop calling me that, he didn't want to do it. She wanted her to be the Madeleine who brought her easy money, she had to be that girl who never existed.

So that the situation would not arise further, I met with him to clarify that it would be his Madeleine only out there, it would be what he asked of me.

And now I need it...

That false identity that I maintained for so many years, that sinister world that Ricardo forced me to enter, that world which today I need... to be able to be good with myself.

Many times, like now, I stop to think in front of the mirror, why, being what they forced me to do, did I feel so good? Why was I so afraid of social acceptance? Do I say it so calmly now? Why do I have someone to support me or why am I admitting it?

Admitting that I like being a girl. That Madeleine they forced me to be.

Why am I so afraid of death if in the end we are all going to die?

Do I do what they were crying out for?

After blinking several times, I saw myself with makeup on my face. I had eyeliner, shadow, hot red lipstick, pink cheeks and then I saw her... I saw the girl that those monsters created, I felt a heavy shame, I smiled as I brought back those memories that marked me day by day.

—Who are you? —I asked that figure in the mirror.

—I am what you try to hide, your fears, your arrogance, I am what you became many years ago and you have not wanted to accept it. Although a part of you knows it: you want to be what you see here and you get too scared by what people will say.

—But if I do this... he will have won.

—Madeleine... We talk about what you want, omit what happened and live in the now, today. You want to be this and it's about time... If you don't, you will be what he always said you were; a little whore who only serves to eat cocks.

I felt a great need to hide from my own reflection, I felt ashamed of myself, and that image spoke of snow —see it? You're doing it again.

So, I understood.

He told me that he was trying to hide it, he always wanted to do this and for fear of the reaction of others, he stopped doing it. Because they never taught me to stand by my words and drowned me in fear, in terror of the world, of society. Just because since I was little I was taught the monstrous part of human beings, now I don't know how to stop it.

He had been wearing out mom's makeup, it kills me if he finds out.

—Hanler, love, what are you doing? —Erik entered the room. I tried to hide it, I covered my face so I wouldn't have to give it.

—Can you wait outside? Please. —I asked him, nervous. I didn't want him to see what he had done, it wasn't the time, I wasn't ready.

—What are you doing? —he continued investigating. His footsteps continued to be heard closer and when I couldn't hide it anymore, I threw the pillow at him from among the small piece of furniture in the comfort of the room. —You are...?

He looked at me carefully, fixed, I also noticed he was nervous. Maybe it had already caused him disappointment, it was surely a shame in his eyes, an ugly horror. —You look like a motherfucker, damn it. You look beautiful. —He interrupted my thoughts. Leaving me stunned.

That?

Do I look cute to you?

—Per-What? —I paralyzed waiting for a justifiable answer.

—Do you think it bothers me that you want to feel good about yourself? —was what he asked. Holding on down and without brakes.

—It's just that I...-

—Hey. —interrupted. And he looked for my hands to take his. —Fuck everything, I love you as you are. I used to be capricious about this, just because I'm no longer capricious doesn't mean I don't love you, it means I've matured and I want something nice between the two of us, support between both of us. —His eyes let out an inexplicable shine. —I'm studying hard, so that when I get out of school I can make my dad proud. —He smiled, looking down, as if he were ashamed. —The one out there looking for help to be a better father, to kick his drug addiction. And I don't want to disappoint him, you know? —his voice became muffled, —I don't want to disappoint anyone and I don't want to lose you either.

Without realizing it, I was already crying. —No, no, don't cry, don't cry. —He started kissing me while hugging me. He pampered me and I needed him, without stopping crying.

At the end of the day, not everyone is a monster. There is light out there, you just have to be patient, not give up. Don't look back.

—Are you real? —was the only thing I said, holding his hug.

—We are, Hanler. We are. —he finished.

The days continued to pass, every night I fell asleep in fear. That fear that he had caused me. Why do you think I can't even say his name? Just talking about him makes me sick.

I didn't paint my face again, but my head was gnawing just thinking about it, who I wanted to be, who I could become if I did. I had fear stuck in my chest, that terrible fear that made me think that someone would come for me.

I noticed several times that Erik was talking to his father, they were super cool. I spoke to him about twice and I could tell that despite it being just the two of them, they had a great time. "Quality matters, not quantity". That's what they say.

After the sun set on the incredible city, staying appreciating the wonderful arts of Valencia was amazing. I took a breath, trying to control the impulse to go "because someone forced me" into a club to fuck me halfway through Valencia. I already did it as a necessity but I was trying. He didn't want to disappoint Erik, because that's his dream too.

He meditated on everything he had experienced until today, and whether it had been worth it.

And not. I couldn't find a reason other than Erik, or my past to say: "I don't regret the life I had".

—Hanler? —I heard my name somewhere. I came to think that it had been my illusion. But it hadn't been like that. —I finally found you.

That voice was that of a man in his forties, careless and in a suit. That he looked at me like he was happy to see me. —You're Hanler, right?

I looked around to confirm that he was talking to me, —are you talking to me? —I asked pointing my finger at my chest.

—Yeah.

—Sorry, do I know him? I don't remember his face... —I explained while looking in my head for a face that matched the man's, but there was nothing.

My mind was blank.

—You don't know me at all. —he stated. I raised my eyebrows without understanding it. —But I do to you.

He caught my full attention and for a moment I was afraid that he was one of those men who abused me as a child and that I wouldn't remember anything about him. —Who are you?

—I'm Hector, your father.

His words left me cold. They paralyzed my world and I couldn't process their words. My father? What mom never talked to me about until today? —Are you touching my balls, man? —I got excited, warming up.

—No, no, no, seriously. —sat next to me, in the park I was in, —I don't want a reaction like that, please. Let me talk to you.

—Talk? After fifteen years? —I played along, for some reason, I felt familiar with him.

—Sorry, sorry. —He stopped, but I went faster.

—Do you know the shitty life I've led so far because of you? —I complained, already risqué and standing up, attracting the attention of some people.

He touched my wrist, I abruptly undid his grip and gave him a murderous look. —Please don't look at me like that... —He spoke in a pleading tone. He lowered his head and played with his fingers, nervous.

He burst into tears and my throat got stuck. He sobbed loudly and looked at me with pity, and with a broken voice he said to me; —Forgive me.

I felt a strange tingle inside me, I evaded him and raised my voice at him, even more angry —sorry is that all you have to say after FIFTEEN years? SORRY? —I spat contemptuously. —My mother. Stay away from me and don't look for me anymore, with that you solve the tremendous mistake you came here to make.

I turned around and left there with a giant hole slowly filling with intense cold. I started crying with even more internal pain. It screwed me up a lot. Those levels that he had managed to climb returned to the beginning.

I ran home. I opened the door and heard Erik speak, I left him in the air and went into the room, locking myself in and falling into the bitter world of tears.

I heard Erik call me several times, but I didn't listen to his words. It only made me cry, because somehow those words of forgiveness had touched a place inside me. I was afraid, because I wasn't ready to face it. I didn't want to know, I didn't want to discover that.

Thousands of thoughts crossed my mind, I had already stopped thinking about how hard it had been to face so many battles without assuming that my father never took care of me, why was that so? Why didn't mom ever tell me about him? He must have had his reasons, I suppose.

He abandoned us. That's why I never thought I was special. Because everything around me abandons me.

Having the most son of a bitch stepfather, the being who made me doubt the world that revolves around me. Provoking in me such strong sensations and fears towards others.

—Hey hey. What's wrong with you? —Erik approached, I didn't know when or how.

He cried with a lot of accumulated anguish. I was ashamed to tell him. —I can't take it anymore... I can't —he said between sobs, snorting several times. —I can't take it anymore...

—Okay, look. I don't know what happened to you, but I'm here and I'll be here when you need it. Even if you don't want to talk about it, I'll stay here with you. Yeah? So we want in absolute silence, I will hug you so you don't feel alone. —he let out a snort of grace. —know? For some reason you bring out my romantic side. You manage to free an inner being that only knows how to give love. And I'm glad I can do it with someone who needs it. I didn't know when I fell in love with you, it just happened. It's strange, but at the same time it was like a click. As if fate had said: already. Love came to you.

I remained silent, contemplating each expression, although I did not look at him, feeling him hug me while I was on the side of the bed gave me peace, security in the face of the evils that surround me.

—I'm very glad that you got closer to Adam, Dom's brother, today I spoke with him and he told me that Mia still doesn't respond to anything. —He changed the subject, seeing that I didn't say anything. I know his intention was to help, and I really appreciated that. Although a part of me was stuck there, at that moment.

«Forgive me»

I couldn't process yet.

I swallowed and finally spoke. —Can I ask you about something personal?

—Go ahead, whatever you want.

—How...? —He interrupted me, looking for the healthiest way to say it without offending —How could you get over the fact that you are adopted?

Erik was silent and looked down. I felt terrible for having asked, now worse, an absolute disaster. And when I was going to apologize, he spoke. —I'm not over it. —took a breath and looked me in the eyes, —I've lived with it for many years. It's hard to accept that the people who created you don't love you at birth. Worse knowing that there are so many parents in the world wanting to be one. Actions like this from the moment you are born make you understand that from birth no one will take you into account if your own parents abandon you. —The tone of his voice was somewhat broken and trembling. It was difficult for him to talk about it.

—Stop stop. —I stopped when I noticed I was screwing him. —I didn't want to hurt you, I'm a fool, yo-

And he kissed me. —It's okay to talk about it with you. It bothers me to think about it, but it's not your fault. Thanks to you for listening to me.

—I found a man in the park...

—That? Has he hurt you?

—No. No. —I said quickly. —Not physical harm at least, —I corrected. —That man claimed to be my father. And for some reason I believed him.

—That? —He swallowed, opening his eyes wide.

—It made me sick because I felt like I was telling the truth. And I am going through several processes that make me sick. This made it hit rock bottom.

—Now I understand. And look, if you don't want to talk about it, stand up loud and tell him you just don't want to talk. He must respect that.

—For some reason I want to know many things... but another part of me wants to leave them hidden, never touch on that topic.

—You try to move forward. I've already been through it. —he added. —Don't worry. I'll be here.

That gave me peace again. And I expressed it with a hug that I didn't let go of for a long time.

The days progressed and I took it upon myself not to be seen on the street. I was afraid of finding that man again, it was strange even though I didn't know him at all.

I had talked to Adam to keep me up to date with Mia. I wanted to go see them to give them my support and after thinking about it for a long time, I went to the hospital. I needed it, a break and something more.

When I was very close, that man appeared again, destroying everything that I had been trying to lift for weeks. I'm a weak piece of shit, and I didn't know how to stop it.

Today I knew what fear was. I learned what it was like to get angry at an irresponsible parent. Without realizing it, that scene in the hospital made me feel like a son.

Cameron | Five weeks before...

The girl never imagined that her husband had become homosexual because of that young man she had taken home to give them a day of pleasure. She couldn't process that because it was too much for her heart.

Raquel is weak and pretends to be strong.

She ended up falling in love with someone who didn't measure her feelings to hurt her. He simply did it because it was born to him. Because he found something better for himself and he didn't care at all about that woman who had given him her soul.

—Why...? —Those words of confusion in her rose and made a world of chaos and pain. —When did this happen and I didn't see it...?

—A lot. Maybe too much and you didn't notice it. —I answered, seriously.

—It's just that... no... can't...

—He became too obsessed with Dominick. Now he needs to have it for himself or he goes crazy. —I started talking to him about what he knew, —Arturo came here a long time ago in search of Dom, he did everything in his power to find him and he succeeded. Even once found, he forged a plan to destroy him, so that he would be alone. —He explained to her while she was still looking into space, as if seeking to understand, answers. —He used me for it; with an absurd resentment or simply wanting to get over the boredom... I agreed to help him meet the boy anyway.

He achieved his goal.

But things got turbulent when I realized that he was completely unhinged, she stopped seeing him and went to look for him.

—does she love him? —she sweated, still dull.

—No. Obsession is not love. And destroying another to achieve their purpose I don't think is love... —I tried to explain, arranging my words in a way that I myself analyzed them, knowing that part of it was my fault. Knowing that for fun I destroyed a courtship and lives.

—But I... wasn't such a bad wife... —she tried to convince me, with fear. —I don't remember us fighting, I don't remember doing anything wrong either... I- maybe I did... —got upset—, it's possible that I drowned him... I...

—No. Please don't blame yourself, no. —I tried to calm him down as best I could. —You are not to blame for something he decided because it was born to him.

—It's qu-

And I interrupted him, quickly figuring out an answer. —Please, I am more to blame for having fed that monster in him.

—I... I always have... —She was going to talk, I didn't know what, because something else caught her attention: Arturo was here. At the door of my apartment, she ran towards him without hesitation, perhaps she still couldn't believe what he had told her. —You are here. —he said in a happier, more vivid tone.

—What are you doing here, Raquel? —he courted, to her reaction.

—I've come for you... Aren't you happy about that? —His voice immediately faded when he saw that he was neither doing nor reacting well.

—No. Not at all, rather your presence bothers me.

His suffocating way of speaking to him provoked and incited me to hit him.

—I ruined it, right? —she accused herself.

—Yeah. But it doesn't matter anymore, it's too late.

She, without saying anything else, endured everything brave. I noticed the gigantic desire to cry, because his eyes spoke for themselves. She looked towards me with a "I told you so" in her eyes. I tried to stop her, but she turned to talk to him. —No. You lie, Arturo. You're a cocky piece of shit and I'm an idiot for letting you make me feel that way.

His reaction was childish, just like when you hit yourself hard with something and even though it's hurting, you pretend to act strong. She wanted me to see that she didn't break down. —Ah, I still make you feel things... —he skirted, trying to be interesting.

—I have always been subject to you since I met you, and you know it. You have always wanted to victimize yourself and I have done nothing more than cover those faults of yours with a bandage that only infected that wound more. —She began to speak, raising her voice, somewhat angry.

—You are to blame for everything. —he responded, dry. —We are here for you now, I told you many times... If one day the relationship ended it would be your fault. You always pretended we had a perfect marriage; and what hurts you is that you made me go with someone that you brought into our relationship, to our house, to our bed, and to my heart. —Arturo continued speaking, and she looked weak, as if she didn't already know how to defend herself. —The relationship ended because you wanted it that way.

—No. That's not true, I gave everything for you! I tried to revive our marriage by including this boy, which I know was a mistake, but you know well that you no longer loved me long before. Don't try to make me feel guilty. In me you no longer have the right. Go if you want! I am an independent woman. That's how I was raised as a child, not to be dragged by anyone, because I could do it alone.

—And why are you crawling for me, someone who no longer loves you? —he returned, in a defiant tone.

—Because I'm still a woman and I can fall in love, believe it or not, others have feelings. —she responded, calmer.

I intervened; —Enough. Arturo, pick up what you came for and get out of my apartment. —I ordered him, and without saying anything else, he returned the way he came. After a few seconds of processing what happened here, she became desperate.

—I don't understand... really don't... —She spoke very desperately, frustrated, scratching her head and biting her nails. —He changed so much... for Dom? It is true that our marriage was not good, when I took the boy home that day I had already told him about him. He had always been very jealous, but after finding out the person he had had sex with, his change was sudden. He stopped being so closed and was the one who invited the boy to come to my house and have a threesome with him and me. —She explained, still confused.

—The only thing certain here is that I ruined the boy. I recently saw something about him on the news, it shocked me too much, he has been through very dark things. And I helped this in part. I wish I could make amends for the damage I did. Somehow...

—How much do you know about Dom? —she went deeper.

—Everything you need.

Emily

Despite everything that has happened lately, I feel peace. I feel calm being next to this boy, something about him makes me feel safe. May he want it for me, my man.

—Are you better now, horny? —I smiled, amused.

—I'm afraid, I'm afraid of losing you. —He responded, with nervousness in his voice. —I'm afraid that he will do what he tells me every night.

—Are you talking about your dad? —I tried to help, but his reaction was intense. The palm of his hand covered my mouth, unconsciously squeezing it, my eyes widened, with a sudden reaction. Dominick began to say;

—Don't say his name. He wants me to hurt you, and I don't... no. —I nodded at that, as if I knew he would let go of me more easily. That's how it was.

He started kissing my whole face, I was crazy. —I don't want to lose you, my sweet. You are the sweet that I want to eat every morning, at all hours. You are my purest drug. The one who wouldn't stop consuming even if she destroyed me. —He concluded, without stopping kissing me. I love the warmth of his body, the white tone of his skin, his hair, his eyes... I love everything about him.

—I'm not running away from here, I promise. OK?

I wasn't going to leave him alone now that I felt so good about him. Now that he had become someone so important to me. With him I could be natural, I could laugh like a fool and express myself freely, I felt that free and good with him. Something I didn't know I could feel with another person.

I was curious about a wound he had on his body, he looked recent, and when I was on him, lying on the bed, both caressing our bodies slowly, in a silence of total assimilation of everything that had happened in recent times; about Dominick's father, Pedro, my strange uncontrollable sexual addiction, what I feel for Dom... this desire, this feeling that cannot be explained in words.

—What is this? —I touched his body slowly over a wound that was almost healed, while he looked at the ceiling.

—I don't remember... —He responded, looking back at the ceiling, after having paid attention to me. —There are times when I thank life for not being able to raise awareness of those bad memories... —He began to speak, calmly. —I think if I could remember it I would have already committed suicide. —he expressed. —Being with you I can say it so calmly...

Sigh.

—I'm very flattered that you say it... I love knowing that I'm something like your complement. —he said in a funny tone.

—You are, Emily. —His arms adorned my body in a wonderful hug from which I never wanted to leave again. —Thank you. —he whispered, you could see so much peace.

—Thank you? Because? —I investigated, without understanding.

—Thank you for being born and making me the happiest man in the world. —he responded.

—Are you already? —I followed the act, laughing.

—Yeah. Just because there's you.

And I couldn't help but kiss him, changing position and placing myself on his body, with my legs bent on either side of his waist. I felt the warmth of his crotch in the slit of my vagina and with my hands on his white chest, sketching a perverted smile I told him; —Shall we go for round two, horny? —He smiled and nibbled on her lip.

—This is why I love you, my sweet perverse. —He turned me completely on the bed, he didn't take away my smile. Seeing it in action made me very excited.

—Get on all fours.

—As you say, doll. —I agreed immediately.

Without saying anything else, I got on all fours in front of him, my buttocks hit his already hard member, I slid my hands on the bed positioning them forward, making my ass open in front of him, touching the slit in my crotch that was present at the event.

—Do whatever you want to me, I'm yours. —I gasped, looking impartially. He looked at me without stopping smiling, slapped a pomp and I yelled at him at that act. —Ah!

She knelt down, after putting her hands on my buttocks, opening them as if she were looking for treasure, I felt her breath against my pussy, without going much further, her tongue was slowly caressing my vagina. I let out light and agonizing moans, which he was doing the same and it excited me a lot; —You smell so delicious, I love it. —he gasped, licking his tongue. It didn't take long for her lips to appear and begin to feel delicious kisses on my pussy. He wouldn't stop, and I was already rolling my eyes.

He was dying with his mouth half open, with his eyes closed, feeling the pleasure of that delicious blowjob. —Do you like how I eat it, mmmh? This is the sweetness of your body that drives me crazy. —I could only gasp and move my head from side to side, dislocating my hair.

—Oh! Fuck! Don't stop! —encouraged him.

—I love the rich melody of your moans, beautiful. —He whimpered, moving his tongue more closely and going deeper inside me.

For a moment he stopped doing it; —why do you stop? —I complained to him, before feeling his thick member rush in, making me moan even more pleasantly. —Fucking mother, keep going! —I screamed. He put his hands on my buttocks and held me tightly to him. His cock went completely in and out again, causing gigantic waves of pleasure. —Ah! Yeah! Faster! —He continued panting between screams.

He moved faster and harder. I could feel the hip movement he made, it caused me to curve completely and scream even more. —Do not stop! Shit...

—Ah, auntie, you're amazing! —he continued whining. Without expecting it, his thick, hot and magnificent hand was on my neck, on my back, clinging to him so much that it seemed like he was hugging me, without stopping putting it in again and again. His gasps were at the level of my ear, broken like mine, which at the moment was much louder than his.

—Я был бы так взволнован тем, что съел меня намного больше. —spoke with a very hoarse voice against my ear. I didn't understand anything at all, nor did I know that he had so many languages stored in his little head, but I loved how that sounded. What language was that?

It would excite me much more to eat your pecked meat.

I encouraged him more between screams, they were divinely incredible sensations. He licked my earlobe, leaving a small bite there that only made me more. It gave me goosebumps to feel his nose rub against my neck, his grunts so masculine that they made me see rainbows, he had earned me a slice of paradise.

His hand moved and looked for my breasts, he caressed them slowly without stopping moving behind me, my hair already covered my entire face, drops of sweat slowly descended from my forehead. I could see my body already completely wet, he turned me in front of him and began to eat my mouth. He looked like a possessed beast.

—Я тебя съем. Как они меня научили. —He nibbled his lip so close to my face that I wanted to do it, he threw himself on top of me, falling together on the bed. With one of his hands he looked for his member and moved quickly, looking for a place inside me to put it. He growled non-stop, and when he finally succeeded, he began to move inside me, leaning on two fists against the bed, leaving a little height and I appreciated his facial gestures. He smiled, panting hard and fast. Those beautiful eyes had penetrated my soul.

I'm going to eat you like I was taught.

To do it with him was to earn a piece of the universe. Doing it with him was glory.

He continued to intensify his movements inside me, I grabbed his body over mine and squeezed his buttocks to finish harder, he was completely inside me; and I loved it too much. I brought my hands to his neck and raised my legs a little to accommodate him more.

I stopped thinking about everything that happened to us, I stopped thinking about everything bad that surrounds us and at this moment only we existed, it was our moment in our universe.

His lips clung to mine, his body moved a little slower, perhaps trying to deepen those thrusts further. He closed his eyes with high pleasure, his mouth half open, he was enjoying it too much.

He turned that hand, slowly squeezing my neck. He changed his movements, now he attacked me more quickly. That look, dark, destroying the color of his eyes, ruining that moment with a curved smile that seemed to reach every side of his ears, —Ты собираешься делать то, что я тебе говорю или нет? Чертов педик. —That voice that seemed pleasant before ended up scaring me. His hand violently squeezed my neck, without being clear yet, he was hurting me. —Sun! —I spoke in a gasp, what was a moment of pleasure had turned into a nightmare. When I felt like I couldn't breathe anymore, I pushed with supernatural force, causing him to fall to the floor on the left side of the bed.

are you going to do what I tell you or not? You fucking faggot.

I was coughing hard, his squeeze on my neck hurt. What was happening here? What does this violent reaction mean?

I screamed his name several times, trying to protect myself with something on the bed, going to the headboard. He stood up, looking at her hands and with a depressed face. I watched him with curiosity, without leaving behind the horrible horror he was causing me at this moment. My heartbeat was going so fast that it hurt to even breathe. —Emi...? Emily? What have I done?

His voice seemed as if he regretted something very bad, which in reality was like that, but it seemed like something more, something worse. Although I don't know how to clearly deduce what. —I killed her. He ordered me to hurt him... —he continued, in his monologue; since, it seemed as if he didn't see me. —EMILY!! —he shouted, his voice destroyed. He looked at the ground, as if he could see something there. Clinging to the sheets, covering my naked body a little, I moved slowly and a little afraid that he would jump on me and rob me again.

I had never seen him act like that, he really scared me too much; It seemed like someone else reacted this way, now it seems like he regrets having done something very bad. Much worse than having almost hanged myself. —I didn't really want to..., I... —He looked to the sides, looking for something, very afraid. I took the opportunity to quickly see the apartment, taking a quick look, noticing that there was nothing there.

I was hallucinating.

—It's my fault, I didn't push her away when I had time... —he growled, looking around. His member was still hard, I could feel him falling asleep, as well as being sedated.

His eyes were wide open, his lips trembled, for a moment, I felt very sorry for him, he just understood everything he was suffering. Suddenly, he looked to the side of the room where there was only concrete; He ran over there and hit his head hard.

Noticing that violent reaction, I ran towards him, without hesitation, without hesitation, forgetting everything that had happened. When he was about to hit himself again, I put the palm of my open hand in, which hit the wall after his attack. It hurt a little, my knuckles were burning, but without thinking anything else, I turned him towards me, grabbing his face firmly, causing him to look at me. —Dom, calm down. Don't worry, everything is fine. OK? React. It's just been a nightmare. —I tried to calm him down, as best I could. —Breathe Dom, breathe.

The tension in his body dropped slowly, and with it his breathing went slower, in an instant he inhaled air, as if, for a very long time, he had not breathed. —Emi...ly... —he whispered in a gasp.

—Yes, Dom, it's me. I'm here. Don't be afraid. —I continued to calm him down.

He was stunned, as if he didn't believe she was alive, he touched my face and looked at me carefully, I was still naked and without expecting it, he hugged me. —You're fine, you're fine. —he whispered between his hug.

I responded to that hug and in that room, standing next to the bed where we were enjoying a few minutes ago, we gave each other the most tender hug that no one ever gave me. He received it well, I received it better. —I don't know what's wrong with me, Emily. —He spoke, in a tone of disappointment. —I sure ruined the moment and I...

I stopped him with my lips on his. After a few seconds of rising to the clouds, I told him calmly. —Enough tormenting you, I'm not going to leave. I'll be here for you, okay? even if I have to face this thing that is destroying you... Even if I have to fight all hell, I'm going to stay here, next to you.

His eyes were wrapped in a liquid cloth, he was surprised by my words, by my decision. It was more than clear, I wasn't going to leave him abandoned when that's exactly what everyone has done, I'm not going to leave him alone, even if it costs my life.

I found his words in Russian curious. That now, after thinking about it for a while, I noticed it. I came to believe that he could have learned it and doesn't remember it. Or it's some problem we don't know yet. Why act like this? It seemed like he was accumulating hatred towards something... or someone?

—I want to rest for a while. And then I want us to go to the clinic to see a friend. —Dominick said, looking at himself naked. —I'll take a shower.

—Okay. I'll go out and get something to eat, okay?

—Okay. —He put a kiss on my lips, grabbing my buttocks and turned to leave. —What a cute ass you have. —He hummed making a movement where his bare buttocks moved from side to side.

—You too, eh, handsome. —I told him with a smile.

I went to put on clothes and that dark look of Dom's appeared in a flash in front of me. The fear was still here, that strange feeling. He reminded me that as soon as I returned I had to ask him about those words.

But I forgot everything because... my father was dead.

Adam.

I had identified with what had just happened, Hanler's father, his words and his reactions made me understand that I always had bad luck, that people, not all of them, even if they end up destroyed, give up. I wish I had heard those words from my father. I still can't accept the fact that my mom is dead.

I can't hold back the urge to cry just thinking that I could have done something more to save him. And even though it's terrible because I couldn't do anything, I understand that that already happened and that everything died there, even though everything is bad here.

I don't know if the way I lead my lifestyle is correct. I can only cry and try to get over the horrible things that happened to us. It was already July, Dom's birthday was approaching, I remember that magic that happened on the day of our birth; Dominick was born several minutes before me, but those minutes set us apart for a full day. He 31 and I in August 1. It's a lot of fun, because we can both celebrate each other's time.

Dominick was often locked up with Dad in his office. Many times he took it from home and didn't know where. I only saw those insults from dad in front of me and mom's screams trying to stop him.

Maybe that time he was given was what ended up leaving him like this; with a boy who doesn't even recognize himself because he can't remember what hurt him so much.

The tension of the moment ended. We were waiting for any doctor to come and tell us that he had already woken up. Harry was no longer reacting to anything, he was lost in thought; at the time Veronica, Ethan's girlfriend; comforted Hanler for the bad time.

Ethan was sitting next to Harry, both of them not sharing a word. I looked at them while thinking about everything that had happened so far. How to work with that thing about Dominick not feeling love because he is destroyed; although he thinks about it and convinces himself that it is love for her.

When Dominick woke up that day he shouted that girl's name, as if he knew she did something wrong and wanted to fix it. Dominick, being convinced that he liked boys, could have been fantasizing in his head that he was with her.

"I want this nightmare to end", Harry spoke, addressing me. He turned his gaze to the ground as if he continued thinking about what tormented him so much: when will it end? Can't we get out of this?

I already want this nightmare to end.

There were times when I felt like everything was so related, it's like our past somehow mysteriously brought us all together by one person. I would like to understand when it started and how it all happened. But there was no time for anything but to live and try to overcome the present that was harming us.

"I think I've fallen in love with her..." Harry brought me out of my thoughts.

I think I've fallen in love with her.

"Really?" I turned to look at him, smiling.

Oh really?

"I've been thinking about it for days. I did not want to accept that because I did not get out of my last relationship and I should not even think about what has happened." He lowered his head and with it the tone of his voice sounded more insecure, shy and afraid. "I'm really sorry."

I've been thinking about it for days. I didn't want to accept that fact because I didn't come out of my last relationship well and with what we've been through I shouldn't even think about it. I'm seriously sorry.

I didn't know what to say because I felt like I could hurt him. "It's not bad to fall in love, even if you're in the ocean and feel you're suffocated."

It's not bad to fall in love, even if you're out to sea and feel like you're suffocating.

Hanler approached us, he looked a little better. I had that serious touch on his face that made me understand that he wasn't well yet. —how are they?

—Taking her man.

Harry didn't respond, he just looked at him.

—How is Dom, Mia? —he continued.

—Mia woke up today, it was only a few seconds... but it's something. —I answered, letting out a heavy snort. —I left Dominick at home, went out to get some air. I needed to talk to someone and I went to your house, but your mom has a terrible time.

—What happened to her? —He gave me a worried look right away. — Alright?

—I'll be frank with you, man. No it is not. —He swallowed, being stunned by my open response. —Maybe it's better that you leave her alone, she's not there to talk, she just needs a moment to herself.

He doubted my words, but in the end he ended up staying. —I've had a terrible time too. I think I'm doing wrong being around Erik. —fell for a few seconds. He took a breath and with a lower tone than the previous one said almost under his breath. —He tries to improve himself, pass the year of the institute and I make him terrible with my problems, I don't think that's good.

—No. It's not, it just indicates that you are with the right person. —I intervened. —You already have a lot of problems, Erik already knows them, I don't think you'll weigh him down, I assure you.

—I'm in a mess in my head, I do nothing but think and think about everything around me and how it should affect me. —he let out a heavy snort.

—What are you referring to?

—I feel like expressing myself openly gay. Put on makeup, lipstick, skirt or express myself as such without anyone judging me for it.

They both stared at me, looked at each other and looked at me again. —But if-

"And what are you afraid of?" harry interrupted, standing up. "What will they say? Don't feel free? Who are your friends and what opinions should matter to you?" He fell for a few seconds and looked at me. "If a real friend does not accept you as you are, he was never your friend. Have that for sure."

And what are you afraid of? What will they say? Don't you feel free? Who are your friends and what opinions should you care? If a real friend doesn't accept you as you are, he was never your friend. Rest assured.

—Friend is the one who celebrates your achievements and the one who cries in your bad moments. And few are left to do that. —I added.

He already had his eyes wet. Trying to understand him, trying to process that there were people supporting him for being who he is. —What's wrong with being gay? Who cares what you do with your life? Were any of them there when you had a bad time in your entire life?

I couldn't believe it, I was already crying my eyes out.

Then it happened. —The patient has woken up.

That voice made noise inside me, I opened my eyes wide and looked back, expressing a big smile. I put the topic aside and I think we all went to see her wake up from her nightmare. I didn't know when we were all trying to force ourselves into that room to see him.

And I looked at her awake, she was calm, still with some serious injuries. It had been months since I had seen those eyes, I had not seen that body move. It was an incredible feeling, as if my insides were screaming at me that everything would be resolved little by little.

His breathing sounded altered because he still had that breathing mask on his face. She looked at us, as if analyzing each of us. —Harry... —I heard him say in a faint whisper.

His brother was there and I looked at him crying, without saying anything. Just being there, to feel part of something, maybe. Perhaps he had noticed that what happened to us united us in some way, forever. "I'm here. I'm here, Mia." He responded, getting closer to her, holding her hands, he was squatting in front of the bed. He was crying and seeing that, it stuck in my head.

—Don...de? Where is? —she asked, I deduced that she was referring to Dominick. —He's fine, right? —his voice broke. And it made me crumble to hear her like that.

—Dom is fine, Mia. He is alive thanks to you, to you. —I replied. —Don't give up on me now and fight to get out of here.

The nurse on duty told us that we couldn't all be inside. In the end we agreed to forge shifts. Harry had too much accumulated desire to talk to him, together they went through a lot. He went first.

I watched them from the door. Hanler was clinging to my forearm and Ethan was still staring silently. "Hey. how are you?" He spoke, trying to intone as much as possible into Spanish. I was very surprised because it was the first time I had heard him say a word in Spanish.

—You... —She spoke with difficulty, as if she were tired. —You spoke Spanish.

She laughed as best she could. That caught the attention of Ethan, who clearly seemed nostalgic.

—Ye-Yes. —he responded nervously. —For you.

There was a short silence, it was obvious to her that she had hit the nail on the head. Those words had touched him.

—N-I'm not going to surround him —he continued. His R sounded more pronounced than the other words. You could tell he was having a hard time.

—I waited for you to clear my head because I want you to know that I'm not going to leave here. I want to stay by your side to support you in what remains of our lives. —took a breath before continuing. —I promise from me. I want to live to make you smile, achieve my goals with you, you are very brave and willing... —He expired loudly, as if he were tired. —Fuck! —he complained to himself. "Sorry. I'm terrible." He remained silent for a few seconds, without letting go of her hands. —You are the person who inspires me and who allows me to give the best of myself, because that is what you provoke in me.

You make me a better person every day that I have the opportunity to spend by your side. Your defects become virtues in front of me and make you special. I don't know what you did to me, that I can't stop thinking about you and our life together, about that universe that we have created just for both of us.

She looked a little confused and everyone present was stunned by the incredible statement. —is-is this a statement?

—No. —he blurted out firmly. —I'm asking you to be the woman of my life.

There was only silence on his part. I don't know if it was too many emotions, but she didn't say anything for a few seconds. —I... I want to be what you tell me, because no one has ever shown so much for me. I want to be the woman of your life.

It was a very emotional moment. Harry looked towards me and held back his urge to scream maybe because of where we were. His eyes were watery and that "I did it" that spread his entire being.

—I know it wasn't the time, I'm sorry. But I couldn't stand so much anymore...

He was right, the moment was not aimed at this, but it happened. He deserved it, he had earned more than a throne in heaven. —Adam, can you tell me everything that happened while I was gone? How long was it? What happened? —She spoke to me without letting go of Harry's hands, she felt safe, perhaps.

—Several months have passed. —I started. Her eyes opened slowly and she looked towards Harry, who continued with his eyes wrapped in tears. —You fell into a coma, you had a terrible time. But we never lost hope. —I took a breath to continue, it weighed on me. —Dom has stabilized. Everything that happened to us was because our father had a blackened heart. And it reached us all.

—His-father? Per-

—I hated Dominick from birth until the day he died. —I burst into his stupefaction. —He had to die to save us from that place. A lot of people and we try to process it slowly.

—Oh my God... —he said in a low voice. —I just remember that everything happened very quickly. And it felt like an eternal nightmare.

—Mia, Mia, it's me, Dom. —another voice appeared. It was Dominick, when had he arrived? How did it arrive? We were all surprised to see him, Harry ran towards him in joy, hugged him for a long time and was stunned by his arrival.

There was something different, as if it had changed. Barely eight hours had passed, but he seemed calm. Conscious and capable.

Mia cried when she saw him, Dom too. He went up to her and started kissing her many times all over her face. —I'm so glad you're okay, it makes me so happy to see you awake.

She complained from time to time because the wounds on her body were still there, they hurt. But they were laughing out loud, for a moment I thought everything was going in the right direction, everything was getting better. And it was scary to think like that.

It seemed like everything was going normally until now, Ethan looked at Dominick surprised, glanced at me, perhaps looking for the difference between us. I was born on World Day of Joy, apparently the complete opposite of my brother.

Those glances stayed connected, I could remember that Dominick said when he woke up that day: «He abandoned me... like my dad», that which broke the normal cycle of perhaps a friendship that lasted so long. Getting me out of those thoughts, Dom spoke. —You are here... —It shocked me for a moment because I didn't expect me to talk to him. —Looking at you brings back so many good memories... heh, someone like me to say that he remembers.

Ethan remained silent and Veronica, smiling and at the same time with a worried face, let go of his forearm. —How do we end up like this, huh, my friend?

—Hey... I... —began to speak. We were all silent, we don't know, maybe we wanted to see what was happening now. Ethan looked down and after losing the act for a few seconds, he was already crying.

—Do you know how much I miss you?

—That? —he let out in a grunt of pain.

—Your hugs.

That answer shocked me.

—Dom... I...

—Why did you leave me alone when I acted like this that day?

That? Dom lo...?

Ethan looked up at him, tears in his eyes, as if he didn't understand how he remembers it. —I just thought about myself... and after telling you to go to hell I followed you without knowing it. During these two years I...

—Do you regret acting like this? —Dom burst in.

—Every damn day, every hour.

—Have you ever thought about suicide?

He was left on a long pause. He looked down, we looked at each other shocked by that conversation and in a whisper, he finally spoke. —Yeah. I've been thinking about it too much lately.

—Do you know what kept me alive in that place where I was locked up for two months?

—What...?

—You.

I remembered each of your hugs and those moments of joy. You were the first real friend, apart from my brother. You taught me that hugs left a mark on you. And even if people talked even about it, you kept giving them to me when you felt I needed it and that's what captivated me about you.

Ethan continued crying. —No one had ever done anything like what your sister did for me. And that will never be forgotten. —He laughed at what he said, as if he had taken it as a joke. —It's funny that someone who forgets everything tells you this.

Ethan ran at Dom and they hit the wall, he shouted at him with great sadness; —Forgive me Dom, forgive me. I was too blind not to see the pain you were going through.

They were hugging, in some ways it was very moving. —I have nothing to forgive you for, after all you are my best friend. —Veronica rested her head on my shoulder.

—I needed to see this... —whisper.

—I'm glad I can be better, even if it's just for a moment so I can tell you how much I care about you.

That...

That sounded like goodbye.

—You ... my family. You deserve heaven and everything good that happens to you. I want you to be at peace. —He looked at us all, as if making a speech. —May you know that with you here, I am strong. I have found my direction and I plan to follow it. I feel like I've woken up from a nightmare. I know I'm not well. And I want to fight for you... I know I can. If you are here. Who have shared my tears and sufferings. Today is still the day I still haven't processed the fact that my mother died.

—Sun... —I heard someone whisper in the room.

—Since I was little... The torture that I have had to live and endure has been a tough battle to fight. —He looked down and continued talking. —I know perfectly well that many of their pains were my fault... because they dared to risk it for me and I will never forget that in my life. Today my last adventure begins, I want to form a life together with the girl I love.

«Along with the girl I love.»

«Dom will never be able to love anyone because he is too hurt.»

That shocked me hard. Like his words, they were sincere and you could hear that they accompanied a lot of pain in them. —I will repair one day the damage I did to them, because I want to see them smile again. Alright?

We all nodded, excited for him.

—Потому что когда он съест их каждому из вас, как учил меня папа, он будет счастлив, и я, наконец, буду свободен, heh. —spoke in another language. I had never heard him talk like that.

Because when I eat each of you, just as Dad taught me, he will be happy and I will finally be free.

—Did you speak in Russian? —Veronica asked.

—Yeah.

She did not confirm that she understood those words, nor did she say anything about it, just a simple one. —Oh okay. How cool.

I was surprised to hear something new from my brother. Knowing that he mastered the Russian language so well was interesting. The name of that organization was also.

Mia

I had never expressed anything I feel or do to people. A very personal characteristic of me was my label that identified me among so many undead. Since I was a child, I have always trusted my brother too much and even though such horrible things have happened to us, he was still my brother; I was still someone he felt he should take care of.

After the traumatizing experience I had as a child, it had been kept in my head that for the next one I would not be a burden and that I would help and try to fight, even if it cost my own life.

After moving to Madrid where our parents were previously for work reasons, I stopped being that little girl who expressed her emotions, I learned to show them. It's what's truly important.

Dominick came into my brother's life, marking a before and after in friendships. I was not one of those girls who expressed interest in anyone anymore. Dominick made the difference. I thought several times that I had fallen in love with him, in the end I concluded that although we had relationships several times, it was just the typical teenage action that convinced us that they only reinforced the friendship. And with Dominick it seems like it was always like that.

Many times I saw how it was consumed in rare and sudden attacks. I paid a lot of attention to them, but that feeling inside me of "don't express to him that he cares about you. I could hurt you" I woke up every time I wanted to try.

I mentally killed myself trying to convince myself that I shouldn't trust Dom or anyone but my brother. But the fact that my brother trusted him inexplicably did not awaken that instinct of confidence to speak or express what I often saw.

One day Dom completely disappeared from my sight, worrying about the times I saw him wrong. I even went to Emily's house, where things were not going well. My brother didn't want to bring it up for some reason I didn't ask, I did some research with his stepmother and he had a place to do.

It had been almost two years since I had seen him, I didn't know anything about him. If he remembered me or would be happy to see me. Apparently he had a new life. And I wish it were so.

In these two years, I tried to overcome my own inner demons, that absolute distrust of others, those nightmares where I remembered what happened in my childhood. Ethan blamed himself and I was just trying to stop him.

I will never be able to overcome the fact that I did not grow up as a normal little girl, I lived with this bitterness inside me that grew and grew. Making me completely distrustful of the world around me.

My parents were no longer there, we had very little communication with them, they who longed for justice, to challenge what happened when I was little. I had already lost hope.

Still, I went to Valencia, things turned out well. I found Dom, who was the trigger for the biggest wave that hit this sea of emotions. It completely destroyed that wall that I had created over the years, making me weak.

Dom was gay and without even a word I was supporting him. Something inside me prompted me that there was an anomaly there, even though it sounded ugly.

After falling into the hands of the anti-gay gang that Dom's father had created, who hated him for some reason, which at the moment, was only known to be because Dom was born sick.

That experience there revived my greatest traumas, but somehow it made me strong. My mental problems had awakened but I had someone to overcome them with, my friends.

With Dominick I already had that label, but I never put it into practice. For my first time, it turned out too well, didn't it?

I had waged the greatest terror of my life. They may sound like optimistic words, but I can't get anything negative out of it, when something good woke up in me; something that will be marked for posterity. I may never forget those faces, I know. Those faces that hurt me so much, those faces that made me understand that the world is completely rotten. That if we don't start setting the changes ourselves, everything will only get worse and continue to increase... until it explodes in all of our faces.

Not speaking was the trigger for my misfortunes. I regret it, but not that I found a light in my path of loneliness that I wanted to force myself to see. This is my new self, determined, relentless, unbreakable.

I am afraid of the world for having destroyed me when I maintained my innocence. You could say that nothing surprises me anymore, even if it affects me. What happened is further proof of the terrible human situation.

What would be so strong as to destroy this thin thread of sanity that I have left?

Rachel

Since I was a child I have chosen to do things well to look good to others, even if that means my suffering or having to lower myself in front of others. I was always very optimistic about the situation in which I see the world and what surrounds me. I am one of those who think that everything that was bad can change.

They have only been false hopes.

When she was little, despite having more siblings, she was the one they expected the most, the one they exploited the most and the one they saw the least. I created that shell that "everything is fine" wasn't yet. My parents, my friends, the love of my life...

Choosing the prettiest doesn't always mean it's the best. When my parents died I cried for weeks, because in the end everything they did, perhaps, was because I was their chosen one, the fittest. I have always doubted myself, how to do things, I easily get carried away by everything.

I separated from my brothers, although I always wanted to have them close, they took me down because they already had a better life. I graduated from university as a mathematics teacher, a university where I met Arturo, the color of his eyes caught me and I felt that I should be with him.

We complemented each other in many things, he was too detail-oriented, and I loved those details. After four years of being together, we got married, he was barely twenty-four years old, he was twenty-six.

At first everything was going well, but sudden fights began. They were like attacks or impulses of anger. I never said anything and I always blamed myself for not doing anything right.

Until months after so much mutual suffering, a young man opened a new door to save my marriage... or so I wanted to think.

Dominick came into our lives and turned everything upside down, I know it wasn't his fault. It was mine for not thinking well at all. I let myself be carried away by the sexual desires that that boy provoked in me and I didn't think about what that could cause. And here's the result, I'm here, looking for the love I lost because I was stupid, he's now attracted to Dom, and I still think I'm not doing anything right.

That which caused external fear, the fear of expressing myself. The fear of never deciding for myself and letting others do it for me.

Don't make the same mistakes as me. Watch out for yourself, even if you think it's being okay with others, being okay with yourself is what really matters.

Today I know the truth about him. That boy has always suffered a lot. Somehow I wanted to get closer to him to support him, to be his friend. No one knows the pain that another hides, even if their gaze reflects it. Because we are too stupid in our intelligence, because we are too blind and cowardly to assimilate that another suffers more than you.

Nadia

Since I was in school I was a girl who did things regardless of the consequences, having a nice physique I always said that everything I proposed to have would be there. Life was responsible for showing me that out there, it is more than just appearances, that the world works in its own way and benefits from it, even if everything inside it is affected, destroyed.

At only eighteen years old, I had already become the mother of my first child, I met a millionaire man who was also too beautiful. She had fallen in love with me and I let it happen, how could I be so naive to think that just because I was pretty everything would come to me as if I had fallen from the sky?

His name was Héctor, a famous businessman who met me at an event he held to inaugurate his branch. There was a clash of glances and we didn't know when we ended up in bed.

I became pregnant with him, waiting for his return.

He never knew anything more about me and I never stopped being a fool, not even because the world was shouting it at me. I wasn't able to see beyond my nose.

Finding out what Ricardo was doing with Hanler left me devastated, it finally made me open my eyes. I didn't know what it was like for me to have them closed all this time. But now I just felt a deep disappointment that I hadn't taken care of my son and that I was just thinking about money and my own happiness.

I ended up with myself pushing everyone away.

Seeing him appear after fifteen years turned everything around. He seemed sorry, but I couldn't forgive him. He was to blame for everything.

Héctor returned, I don't know how he found me and swore he was willing to change, he wanted to see his children, he wanted to know if they could forgive him for the non-existent time.

But it was not like that...

It was too late...

That day he came I was willing to hurt myself, because the damage and suffering that my son endured for so many years would never disappear. I felt like a coward for trying, but it was the only way to feel good about myself.

He appeared at my door, knocking in exasperation; —Adam, I told you to get out of here. —I opened the door angrily, trying to make him understand, but when I saw Héctor, that face that I hadn't seen in so long, it surprised me to the point where even my mouth opened almost automatically. My eyes almost popped out.

After that day knocked on my door, doing something against me turned into anguish and despair for that man who was my first love and whom I told to fuck so easily.

I understood then why when I told Ricardo about having a new child he always said no. I understood those outings with his son, even with Hanler, while Dom was away.

I understood late that I had stayed to live with a monster, with a complete aberration.

I understood it when I found him dead. He had committed suicide because he couldn't bear not being accepted by any of them, and I wanted that to be my solution, since being close, I couldn't see anything.

That's where I met his daughter, Emily. Who witnessed his corpse and was present at the event. That girl was my son's sister, they looked quite similar, it made me very excited to notice it, although the moment did not merit that.

I ended up talking to her and becoming a support at that moment where she felt guilty for not having listened to her father. We ended up in that incredible conversation that she had a brother and that he was my son.

Dominick

I left the bathroom and went to bed completely naked. I was afraid because I felt like they were looking at me, as if a dark shadow was out there, hidden, waiting for me to let my guard down to finish me off. I spent a long time thinking about what had become of me in the last few days. In what was happening to me and in what I felt.

«If you don't learn this you won't be able to make daddy happy, Dom. You understand, right?»

«Come on, repeat with me: Я монстр. Мне нравится человеческая плоть. Я буду тем, кем папа никогда не мог быть. REPEAT IT!»

I'm a monster. I like human flesh. I will be what dad never could.

«I'm sure you'll forget this place. You will forget everything I try to create in you. You are useless.»

«If you don't do what I ask, you won't make daddy proud, Dominick.»

«Come on, chew. You'll get used to it. Do it!»

«You are a monster. You won't make anyone happy. Don't you see it? You are just like me, we were born as a mistake to become something.»

«Daddy, I don't want to. I do not want more...

—What did you say, worm? Open your fucking mouth and swallow everything I give you!»

That? What is this?

«I want you to remember who I turned you into so you can be what I always wanted.»

I hadn't noticed it clearly, I was in a nightmare. I had fallen asleep and didn't know when. That voice had returned to finish what it had started. Only I didn't know when.

Thirteen years ago...

Hospital Clínic Universitari de Valencia

I've had a trip with dad. He talks about a project he has with me. He says that I am the fundamental piece and that makes me feel important, it makes me feel useful.

It was a kind of hospital, it was very big, it looked like a castle. And he always told me that I reigned in this castle. There were many people, children and even animals. Since I got here, I wanted to make more friends, so I could play together with my brother Adam, it's what I've always wanted. Make many friends so that we have projects and goals together.

Dad always told me that I shouldn't trust myself, that everything around me was part of his plan. And that I was the piece that made his whole world fit together. —Come in here, take a seat.

—What is this, dad? —I look at everything around me, the place is already scary. There were many people and among them, boys and girls.

—The future.

I couldn't understand those words, because I was very little and I didn't get the truth in advance. —Will these children be my friends?

He turned around suddenly and gave me a strong right hand, I'm sure I bled and I couldn't understand why. —My little son... You haven't come here to make friends with anyone.

He approached one of the girls and began to shamelessly cut her throat in front of me. The girl didn't even scream, I heard as if she was drowning in her own blood. The little girl was as afraid as I was, I could see it in her eyes. He killed her without scruples. Adults present were breathing heavily and could be seen crying. I had been completely perplexed to see a murder in front of me.

Was the first...

Of the many who came after.

I always wondered why he looked so good doing that. He felt like a different person when he committed those crimes. He made me see them one by one, until finally, the day came.

—It's time for you to do your initiation.

I couldn't understand it. But I had to do it. He forced me to kill two children. In that place he fed me, it was raw meat, and I was never able to realize the true reasons for those acts that my father committed towards me.

But today I understand them.

I wanted him to turn me into a murderer.

I wanted me to become him.

It took me a long time to realize it.

In those years that I had been diagnosed with the disease, my father's hatred of me had grown incredibly. He did not accept having a useless son who would bring problems to him and the family for life.

Many times he hit me alone and made me his punching bag. Most of the time I started reading a dictionary, learning words that I didn't agree with. But I always accepted what he said because I couldn't live with the fact that I was already a nuisance, not doing what they asked of me would be very hard.

He yelled at me loudly that I should learn what he taught me because that would be my inheritance, that's what I would live off of without being as useless as I am. I wouldn't depend on anyone but myself. I was barely five years old...

—Your daddy doesn't want you to be a useless child. No more than you already are... if you understand? —He whispered against my ear, I felt the vibrations of his vocal cords in my ear, he transmitted fear to me. He gave off that hot sigh over my ear and caused me a lot of horror.

When Dad brought me to this place he always wanted me to do something new. Many times it was just eating, and he told me clearly that I would depend on this. —Eat. Come on, son.

I couldn't be free, something always failed: my memory. I chewed heavily, but I did it, I learned that vocabulary that he told me, it was the key to being the conqueror of his entire empire. That which had come from tears of blood from others. Words that I didn't understand back then.

He lost patience with me, I could understand it because it was the truth. He was just a useless little guy who couldn't do anything but screw up everything, he wouldn't make anyone smile because I can't do that even for myself.

He always told me that I would be the monster since I was a child that he wasn't. He would learn to live life through his eyes, even if that meant the happiness of others. It had to be what he asked of me and I would never make the mistake.

Many years passed, too long before it got out of control in a different way. My father abused me on my birthday. And he did it many more times, so many, that I lost count. He yelled at me what I was to him: a scum who wouldn't have friends because he was just useless.

—Get something to eat, now! —he yelled at me from the couch. I went immediately and fear squeezed my chest, my heart was beating very fast. The whole house always remained dark, because he wanted me to be that. A "devil" as he called them. I didn't know what it was about but it always reminded me.

He always told me that he tried to make me one of his own, a black soul so that I wouldn't feel compassion for anyone.

He had gone into the kitchen and I didn't know when, he squeezed food waste that was in the laundry room all over my face. —what is this? Hey? —That hoarse and dark voice caused me too much terror. He continued to smash that waste all over my face. —Haven't you washed the dishes? You are so useless!

—Sorry daddy, sorry! It won't happen again! —I was trying to get rid of that brutal force he gave me by scolding me.

He always called me a nuisance. He always told me he was a faggot. And although I might forget it later, those words had somehow been marked inside me. Everything he told me stayed engraved in me. To remember it would be to become him.

And he said that if he did, he would stop being useless.

That meat that dad gave me to eat belonged to someone. He taught me to be violent, to kill. To be what he wanted. While there again he relived those memories.

«If you stop remembering this, you will be the one who pays for all the misery that always surrounded me. You'll be the fucking faggot who could never even get over himself. I won't be proud of you and you'll just disgust me. You're my favorite... you know that, Dominick?»

My dad experienced with me what he wanted me to be and for some reason I wanted to make him happy. See him smile.

The memories came back to my head one by one.

«Who is daddy's favorite?

—Me, me! —he shouted between leaps of joy.

—We can't say this to your brother, even if they are very close friends. If he finds out you'll stop making daddy proud, you know that, right?»

«I am teaching you this language that predominates in my organization; Russian. If you learn it from a young age you will be the next emperor of my entire kingdom. You'll be like me, you want to be like daddy, right?

I nodded quickly, smiling.

I loved seeing dad happy.

Adam never found out about that secret. Because it would make dad unhappy if he found out. I didn't remember it either.

Dad stopped being happy because I had already let him remember what it cost him so much to teach me. Many times I asked myself why did he try so hard to do this if I would forget it in the end? Would he know that he could remember it at some point or did he have so much faith in me that it was what motivated him to teach me all that law?

I never saw Dad smile again because maybe I had taken away what made him happy.

«I love you daddy. I promise I will change to be someone for you, someone useful. Forgive me for not being a good son.»

I made that promise more than once. I knew Dad wasn't happy because I had already disappointed him too much. Dad was always good, heh.

Here the mistake was me. I always have been.

«I will teach you how to kill people since you were a child, so you won't be afraid of killing someone who is already grown up... Do you think so, son?»

Since I was a child I was murdering people without remembering it, without knowing it. I already had blood on my hands, I was already a demon.

Since I was a child, I was forced to eat the raw meat of people who didn't even know who I was. I managed to mutilate her, hear their screams of pain, their frustrated faces of perhaps not understanding why a child like them was killing them. Or how a child had the courage to murder people without feeling fazed.

Not even a little.

—I do not regret anything. Everything is to make dad happy. —I told myself, trying to convince myself. —Dad loves me and I must make him happy. Your smile depends on me. I do not regret anything. Everything is to make dad happy. Dad loves me and I must make him happy. His smile depends on me. —He repeated to me over and over again for many hours of the day. —His smile depends on me... his smile...

Many times I fell asleep repeating those words that were becoming a religion. In something sacred.

My father gave me meat for breakfast. He made me drink what I am clear today was human blood. He had no compassion and just wanted me to obey him. And my thoughts helped with it. I always thought that if Dad stopped smiling, I wouldn't have a happy life. Because making him happy was what filled me internally.

Today I claim to have murdered her because that murderous instinct that tried to awaken in me the first time, at Ethan's house, for the second time, when I fell before the loss of a love again, Steven. That instinct that did not awaken having its creator nearby.

That instinct awakened when it was the exact moment, when I promised to accompany her for the rest of my days. Was it what I really wanted? Why didn't I walk away when there was time?

When I woke up my hands were stained with his blood. It was done as he requested. I killed her and ate her flesh, I killed her and drank her blood. This is how my conversion into what was my father began. I would be his successor. His only heir.

I am your perfect project.

Finally dad. I was able to keep your promise.

I'm no longer useless.

I am already worthy of you.

This is my truth. The one that my current self has not discovered, the truth that has turned me into the monster I am now.

Thank you dad, for inheriting your knowledge to me.

Thanks to you I will never be afraid again.

Then I woke up not knowing anything about what had happened. That day, in the bed of that motel, a non-human desire was inside me, I woke up completely sweaty and with my heart beating at a mile an hour. I was very nervous, with very heavy breathing, I coughed several times because I could barely breathe, I was choking.

I felt very strange, with a bitter taste in my mouth.

And I didn't see anything clear about what was really happening to me. I was waking up and I didn't know it.

I was naked in bed, I got up nervously and grabbed the clothes that were on the floor. Without interiors, I got dressed and left that room that now only drowned me in suffering. I had stopped feeling comfortable in that place where the best moment of my life began, now I couldn't stop shaking with fear.

I buried the knife in the chest of that woman I didn't recognize, —So daddy? Did I do it right?

What's going on with me?

—Папа любит меня, и я должен сделать его счастливым. Его улыбка зависит от меня. Я ни о чем не жалею. Все, чтобы сделать папу счастливым. Папа любит меня, и я должен сделать его счастливым. Его улыбка зависит от меня. —he said between meaningless whispers, automatically.

Dad loves me and I must make him happy. Your smile depends on me. I do not regret anything. Everything is to make dad happy. Dad loves me and I must make him happy. Your smile depends on me.

What the hell is going through my head?

«человеческая плоть»

Those words of a memory came more audible. A loud voice could be heard, and every time it passed I felt a weight disappear from my consciousness, as if I forgot everything again.

«The date where it all begins is approaching»

Several hours had passed since I no longer saw my brother, hours ago when something in me was empty. A void that not even she has been able to fill.

That voice, that boy... that "Thank you" that started it all. That Steven who came here to stay. Why couldn't I forget it? What about him urged me to look for him and have him close? Why could he feel that sense of tranquility that he felt together with Emily?

I felt much better and could think things through more calmly. I left that motel to go to the clinic where Mia was. I would love to see her, awake and not that empty drawer that she hasn't felt for months.

There was an intense sun, the heat evaporated all the temperature that rose into the air, causing almost suffocation. Luckily I was wearing comfortable, open clothes to avoid dying on the way there.

But on the way I saw him again. Waste, evil, cornered, destroyed. And I felt that spark once again penetrate me all inside, that strange tingling that motivated me to have him close. —Stev. —I pronounced when I saw him. He didn't react in any way, he was kind of gone, like he was high.

Realizing that he wasn't moving, I removed him from his neutral position and got a desolate face, an empty look, his pale face leaving a lot to talk about, —Hey, what's wrong with you, man? —I tried to get conversation.

—You... —I heard him say in a very low whisper. —You shouldn't see me like that... —He let out a moan, he was terrible at expressing himself. —You should hate me... —As he said those words, he repeated "you should hate me" several times in whispers. He looked at me and then approached my lips, looking at them as if he wanted me too much. He held back, I could already feel his breathing close to me, that warmth of his pink lips that drove me crazy... I wanted to return it and waiting for that act that unified our mouths, he hit my jaw, causing me to fall on my buttocks against the road. He ran again, shouting "you should hate me" like crazy.

Why is he acting like this?

I wanted to follow him, but I guess it would be useless right now. I needed to find out what was going through his head. I needed to... finish, at least, do that right. But I'm sure he was like that because of something I did.

He tries to deny himself, because I hurt him before.

At the end of the day I'm to blame for everything that happens... right dad?

After much thought on the way there, he had arrived at the hospital where Mia was, he needed to see her. That image of Steven didn't disappear from my head.

Will it be really okay?

«I was always a monster. Only he hadn't woken up yet. You see? Killing her was what started it all. »

Sweet awakening.

Next episode:

Sweet farewell.

The end is here! Get ready for the last chapter of this story!