After Temari finally relented, Ren was dragged off by the excited Ino and Hinata right after they left Temari in the guest room next to their bedroom.
The following morning was a quiet affair. And a very awkward one for Ren, Hinata, and Temari. Ren had activated the soundproofing seal in their bedroom before they got wild yesterday. But sometimes during their fun, while Ren was too preoccupied with mewling Hinata to notice, Ino got it into her head to... turn it off.
Let's just say they were quite loud, and Temari had a hard time sleeping. When they met each other in the kitchen the next morning, Temari, imitating a panda with the black circles under her eyes, Ren and Hinata instantly realized that something was wrong, and it didn't take long to figure out what.
They all froze, and for the next few minutes, they stared at each other like a deer into the headlights of a heavy-duty military truck.
That's when Ino started laughing like a hyena.
Her fun stopped a few moments later when she took a big gulp from the coffee prepared by Hinata's clone, only to find that, instead of sugar, three spoonfuls of salt had somehow found their way into her drink.
Hinata just gave her an innocent smile with a remark, "Alas, even the most experienced chef can sometimes slip.", causing Ino to pout for the remainder of the breakfast.
But it could always be worse. From the delicious mug of hot chocolate Hinata's clone put in front of Ren while humming, cream on the top and all, the girl was in an amazingly delightful mood this morning. That saved Ino from a more humiliating revenge.
Later on, several people from the Suna delegation were indeed nosy about Temari's bedroom activities, but the matter was resolved as easily as Ren implied. They scowled, whined, and even tried to pull rank, but a cheerfully unhinged smile and a simple threat of time-stopping them during their showertime before putting them in the middle of the town square in Konoha for an entire week nicely dealt with any further protests.
There was no 'virginity testing' for Temari or any such nonsense. Ren would like to believe it was more due to his friendly, charming smile than the threat.
For some reason, the Suna delegation left Konoha the following morning. Ren concluded they must be frighteningly busy people, but he guessed that responsibility waited for no man.
Temari, Baki, and Kankuro stayed in Konoha a bit longer. For the next week, Temari spent most of her days with Ren, and sometimes even Ino and Hinata, but the two girls were quite busy with their own jobs. They mostly saw each other in the evenings, and slowly but surely, Temari's tension started to fall off as she got comfortable with their presence.
Ren tried to get closer to Kankuro, too. He was Temari's brother, and he would be interacting with the man for a long time. Becoming friendly with each other was a no-brainer. And while the two of them did not have much common ground, they got along as well as could be expected.
The grumbling Kankuro even gave Ren the Shovel Talk, the puppeteer edition. It was positively cute and very informative about various uses of poisons and sticking hidden weapons where the sun does not shine. Very theory-intensive, indeed. Ren truly did not expect there to be a blade hidden in the crotch of that puppet!
He almost didn't manage to keep his smile off his face. Not even the threat that the real Shovel Talk would be delivered by Gaara could destroy Ren's good mood. It kinda made him wonder...
Even Baki shared lunch twice with them during said week. It was Temari's attempt at introducing Ren to her Sensei, who was more of a father to her, despite his no-nonsense, stern attitude, than Rasa could ever be.
But Baki wasn't in the friendliest of moods if his grunts and noncommittal hums were to be believed. Ren was a bit baffled, but the man had not uttered a single word to him during these lunches. It certainly reminded him of the impending trouble he was going to have in Suna soon enough.
Stupid paranoid ninjas with trust issues the size of an overinflated Hokage Monument of steroids.
Ren clicked his tongue and pulled his gaze away from Baki's back as the man was exchanging pleasantries with Tsunade, who, despite her polite smile, did not look all that pleased she had to be here.
They were at Konoha's gates. The week was up, and it was time for Ren to leave with Baki, Temari, and Kankuro for the greener... er, he meant, sandier pastures.
Ren wasn't really happy with moving to live in a freaking desert. He was very happy with Konoha's milder climate. But at least he had some experience because he imagined that Konoha's political climate prepared him well. After all, it was as dry and unpleasant as the desert. He reckoned he would feel almost at home in Suna.
But more than that, Ren had... ideas.
Seals that he wanted to try. Seals that could help the population of Suna in many ways. Seals that could cultivate Sunagakure to be self-sufficient in food production. In time. Seals that could push their puppetry to greater heights.
Most of these were untested or were simply ideas in his head for now, and they definitely had more than one flaw. Ren didn't even know if they would work as intended in the first place. But he hoped Sunagakure would be a good testing ground. If he was going to live there for a significant part of his life, he may as well transform it to be livable.
And wow, that sounded arrogant as hell!
A few years ago, Ren wouldn't dare to say presumptuous things like this, but with more knowledge and experience with seals, as his prowess expanded, certain obstacles stopped being... well, obstacles.
Unfortunately, the biggest issue with improving Sunagakure he could foresee was going to be its people. Ren knew he was going to need to work hard to gain their approval. Giving them his seals for free was not an option. The important movers and shakers of Suna would not respect him that way.
They would only see that he could be easily exploited, and that would color their interaction for the foreseeable future. Ren wanted to avoid such an unfortunate misunderstanding. It sounded like a very bloody drag to fix.
But he guessed he would think about it more when he got to it and saw how bad exactly the situation was.
Feeling a mental nudge through the telepathy seal, Ren turned to the right, where Temari was saying her goodbyes to Ino and Hinata. Of course, it was a show to the general public and random spectators who came to see them off.
The nudge pointed Ren's gaze further right, and he blinked as he noticed Naruto Uzumaki stomping his way toward Ren, looking both pissed and on the verge of crying.
Ren's lips quirked into a small, amused smirk as he raised his eyebrow at the boy who stopped in front of him and accusedly pointed his finger at him.
"You-... How could you get married while I was on a mission!? And now you are leaving without even telling me?" Naruto indignantly yelled as a scowling Karin walked out of the crowd with a fed-up expression, her arms firmly crossed over her chest, giving the back of the boy's head a fondly exasperated look.
Ren hummed. And then he casually shrugged, "You said it. You were away. I did send you an invitation. The fact you had a mission," He reached out with his fingers, quicker than Naruto could react, and Itachi'ed his forehead for shit and giggles, "sounds like a 'you' problem, brat." He playfully said with no real bite in his words.
Naruto irritably swatted at Ren's hand, but it wasn't in his reach anymore as Ren speedily retracted it. Noticing the expression full of mirth on Ren's face, Naruto pouted.
"It's sooo not fair! I heard they had an Ichiraku special at your wedding, and I was not there!" He complained, and Ren couldn't help but laugh at that.
Of course, that's the most important thing for him.
"You are such an Uzumaki." Ren said in a voice full of fond exasperation.
"Hey! There is nothing wrong with that!" Karin retorted at the same time as Naruto puffed out his chest.
"And proud of it, too!"
The mood between them improved with that, at least for a moment, until Naruto ducked his head and squirmed a bit in silence as if he was about to say something but was unsure how to word it.
Well, that was a first, in Ren's experience. Naruto was really not one of those guys with a filter between their brain and mouth interaction.
"... Do you really have to go?" He finally squeezed out of himself, and Ren's amused smile fell a bit, transforming into a slightly bittersweet one.
He... did not interact that much with Naruto. And he did feel bad about it. Because he understood that from Naruto's perspective, he and Hinata were the first people who gave a crap about him. It was only once they started helping him that he improved in the academy.
It was Ren who occasionally bought him ramen. And while it wasn't very often, it was still probably something precious in Naruto's mind. It was Ren and Hinata who gave him clues whenever he had problems with techniques. Ren told him to improve his control when he complained about the Clone Technique. Hinata actually helped him to practice it when he complained it was too hard.
For Ren, it was a very casual friendship. For Naruto... it was his first friendship.
Ren inwardly sighed. It was quite thick of him to never realize it until he was leaving Konoha, wasn't it? He didn't even think about how this would affect the people he regularly interacted with.
Even Karin. He glanced at the redheaded girl, mutely standing behind Naruto with her jaw tense and fingers digging into the cloth of her sleeves.
He guessed he helped her, too. He saved her from Orochimaru, he helped her settle in Konoha, and even her introduction to Naruto, who was now her boyfriend, was kinda Ren's fault.
"Yeah. Yeah, I really do." Ren let out a sigh, this time not just in his head. "I will be leaving Konoha in your hands, Naruto. Take care of it for me, alright? You still want to become Hokage, no?"
"You bet. I will get the hat from Granny Tsunade before you know it!" Naruto said, sniffing and stifling a hiccup before he tried to give Ren a bright grin, albeit one with some tears included.
"What was that, you brat!?" Tsunade grumpily shouted from the side, but she was promptly ignored.
Ren reached out and gave Naruto's hair a short ruffle, "Take care of Karin, too. She might have some anger issues, but it is not her fault. It's a red hair thing." He glanced at the redhead, finding her rolling her eyes at him with a small grin she tried to quickly hide.
"Of course, I will! I love her!" Naruto exclaimed with a beaming smile that for a second turned into a playful one as he leaned slightly closer, "Despite her anger issues." He loudly whispered, earning himself a quick but weak cuff on the head from Karin.
"I don't have anger issues." She pointedly said.
"Domestic abuse!" Naruto shouted in a mock pitiful tone as he grabbed the back of his head.
"We are in public." Karin fondly huffed while she grabbed one of his hands and hooked her arm around his elbow.
Naruto gasped as he affectionately leaned on her. "Then public abuse! That's worse!"
"No, it isn't." Karin mildly argued, "Public abuse is just a friendly greeting between ninja."
"That's not how math works, Karin-chan." Naruto confusedly furrowed his eyebrows at her. "You can't make ramen with that logic."
Ren watched their byplay from the side with a contented smile. If there was one thing he knew he would never regret, it was introducing these two menaces to each other. They fit together like a crooked puzzle.
At least one thing in Konoha went spectacularly.
With the corner of his eyes, Ren noticed the remainder of Team Seven in the crowd, but the only one paying any attention to him was Kakashi, who still had his head half-buried in his book.
Sakura had eyes only for Sasuke. And Sasuke, wearing his Gai-approved green spandex, was eyeing Hinata like a kicked puppy. Aaaand that was one situation Ren was not going to stick his nose into.
He returned his gaze to Kakashi and did the right thing by secretly signaling him a 'Fuck you.' in the ANBU sign language. That earned him a quick eye smile from the man, which pretty much meant the same, if Ren was reading it correctly.
Huh. No wonder Kakashi was throwing that eye smile at everybody.
In the meantime, Temari was done with her talk to Hinata and Ino, and Ino decided to stomp her way toward Ren like a stampede of elephants, the obstacle in the form of Naruto notwithstanding.
She unapologetically pushed him out of her way with a quick but subtle, 'Go on, I dare you' look, but before anybody could react, she had her arms firmly locked around Ren's waist and was rubbing her face into his chest.
"I will miss you!" She loudly wailed, making even Ren feel embarrassed at her antics.
His eyes trailed toward Temari, who was giving the blonde girl a very unimpressed deadpan look. But she knew they were going to see each other in the evening regardless. The others didn't.
"Why can't I go with you!? It's not fair! This is all Sarutobi's fault!" Ino pressed her face deeper into Ren's chest, and his lips twitched as he could feel her grin against his chest muscles even though her tone was one full of grief and suffering.
He glanced at Hiruzen, who looked like he wanted to dig himself a hole to hide in under the looks the crowd was shooting at him.
"Why do you have to leave me!? I am not even pregnant y-!"
Hinata pushed Ino's face into Ren's chest, muffling her words as she let out a fed-up sigh and rubbed her forehead with her other hand.
"Alright. That's enough. Stop embarrassing us in public, Ino." She dryly said before she let up on the pressure she was exerting on the back of Ino's head. Her fingers promptly curled around Ino's ponytail, and she yanked her head back, both gently but also with enough of a tug to convey she wanted Ino to let go of Ren.
"Hey! Don't be heartless, Hina! I am devastated! Who knows when we will meet again?" Ino whined, but she did let go of Ren.
Hinata ignored her in favor of hugging Ren, nuzzling her forehead into the crook of Ren's neck. "I will miss you, too." She said, before she mischievously whispered, "At least for the time being."
With a mirthful chuckle at their inside joke, Ren's arms circled her back, and he hugged her back, resting his cheek against her head.
For a few moments, the onlookers ceased to exist for them, but that moment passed quickly, and Hinata pulled away with visibly reluctant body language.
"Don't worry. We shall cause enough trouble for the old man Sarutobi for all of us." She said loudly enough for those around to hear, making Hiruzen even more uncomfortable.
But Ren had to give it to the old man, he knew how to school his expression and act as if nothing was wrong.
"We will see each other soon." Hinata continued, and Ren smiled at her while raising his right arm toward Ino.
"Yeah, we will." He agreed as Ino rushed into his embrace, letting him put his right arm around her shoulders as she pressed herself to his right side in a way that made it look very natural.
Ren kissed her forehead and affectionately caressed her hair. "I will miss you, too. You little menace. Don't ruin Konoha while I am away, alright?"
"Only a part of it." Ino cheekily replied as she leaned into his touch.
That's when an awkward clearing of the throat interrupted their moment. Ren turned his head toward it, only to find Baki looking at them with fish-like, dead eyes.
"We need to get going soon." He grunted, glancing at Temari with a bit of discomfort.
But Temari just shook her head with a small smile, communicating something to him that eased it. Still, that didn't diminish his displeasure aimed at Ren.
Ren awkwardly nodded, his eyes meeting Temari, who shrugged. Sighing, he let go of Ino, much to her pouting protests.
"I see." He nodded at Baki.
One last round of quick goodbyes ensued before Ren gave Naruto a thumbs-up, telling him the next time he saw him, he wanted him to wear the hat even though he knew that was not going to happen.
He wished Karin luck in her seal-learning endeavors and even got to know that the girl had scored an apprenticeship under Tsunade for the medical ninjutsu recently.
That was surprising, but Ren had to move on.
He said a short goodbye to Ino's parents, to Choza, and even to Shikaku, who was more of an acquaintance of an acquaintance. He exchanged polite farewells with Hinata's father, and Hanabi also tried to say goodbye to him in the formal way, which was adorable enough to have Hinata secretly giggle.
Sasuke... looked angry with him. But that was a can of worms Ren didn't want to open. The boy's rose-tinted glasses fell off, and hearing about the wedding, he probably realized that Ren was indeed dicking Hinata.
He decided that he felt fine with dodging that particular bullet for now. Hopefully, the Uchiha boy will move on. Just... as long as he didn't move on by getting a crush on Ino, all would be well in the world.
Surely, Ren couldn't get that unlucky.
Like, Sakura was literally throwing herself at the boy! And she was not as bad-looking as some people in Ren's previous life would have you believe! The girl was actually beautiful. She really made the pink hair work for her very well. Her problem was that she was simply annoying.
At last, Ren got a politely worded encouragement from Tsunade that sounded more like, 'Fuck off already, so I can get back to my sake' in his ears, but he gave her a grateful nod before moving on to Hiruzen.
For a moment, Ren had the desire to use his teleport as an exit. To thumb his nose and rub it in for everybody to see that this is what Konoha lost because of Hiruzen's machinations.
But that would have been extremely stupid and short-sighted. His teleportation was his biggest secret weapon. Revealing it for petty revenge would simply come to kick him in the ass later on. Not to mention all the political bullshit it could start between Konoha and Suna.
It was simply not worth it.
"Here." Hiruzen pushed an envelope into Ren's hands after they exchanged polite goodbyes.
Ren blinked, "What is it?" He looked at the envelope in befuddlement.
"Konoha's requests for your seals. You might be going to Suna, but you are still a Konoha ninja and can supply us. Hopefully, you will not forget your village and provide us with enough of your special seals to properly research them, too." Hiruzen mildly spoke with a grandfatherly smile, and Ren couldn't believe his ears.
His jaw almost dropped at the sheer balls of this bastard.
But he quickly realized that he couldn't say a flat 'no' to this 'request' here. That would not paint a nice picture of him to the crowd of Konoha people watching. He also didn't have the time to come up with a good excuse on such short notice, either.
And since he couldn't fully refuse it, Hiruzen was going to take it as a promise. Because, of course, that's what he would do. Even if Ren didn't deliver on this 'promise' once he was in Suna, Hiruzen was most likely going to be annoying about it, maybe even pestering Suna or Temari in the future.
Resisting the urge to throw the envelope at Hiruzen's subtly smug face, Ren gave him a strained smile, "I'll see what I can do, but I am not promising anything. After all, I am just a chunin." He humbly replied, making Hiruzen's cheek twitch.
They shook their hands with a slightly tighter grip than necessary, and with that, the goodbyes were over.
As Ren, Temari, Baki, and Kankuro were left through the gates, jumping into the treetops, Ren activated the seal he snuck on Hiruzen, and chuckled as he heard a loud yelp from behind as the old shit-flinger received his parting present.
One good seal-provided kick in the ass was delivered, strong enough to make him jump.