I watch him from across the bar.
Tall, tanned. Dark hair and darker eyes. Tattoos line his arms and his ears are pierced with a simple silver circle.
If I had a type, he would be it. He seems tipsy, maybe high, but I want to flirt and he isn't on the verge of blacking out. I imagine his voice. Something deep and warm, maybe not rough but with an edge.
I shut my eyes and feel the world sway under me. I'm drunk, and I plop back down into my seat beside Jeanie.
"Are you okay?" Xe ask, shouting over the noise.
I nod, but it makes a headache behind my eyes and I stop, leaning back and laying my head over the back of the seat.
"Do you wanna go home?" Xe shout. I open my eyes and xyr face is worried.
"I can call an Uber for myself," I tell xem. I get up and start to make my way toward the door, taking my phone out of my pocket.
I sit down on the sidewalk outside and fumble with my phone as my fingers start to get cold. Uber, pick one, a pretty young lady named Eris, 15 minutes away. I send her the address and she says she'll be right here.
I turn off my phone and hug myself. It's cold. It feels like it's always cold here, I hate it. I miss Philly. I miss my home town.
"Hey."
I look up and there he is, tattoos and piercings and all. He slides off his black winter coat and lays it over my shoulders. I stick my arms into the sleeves. It's so warm.
"Thanks," I mutter. I try my best not to slur.
"No problem," he says, plopping down next to me. He's got an accent that I can't place. German, Russian, Norwegian? "I caught you staring and then you left. Didn't want you to think I wasn't flattered."
I nod. "You're nice to look at."
"I hope I'm nice to talk to, too," he chuckles.
"You seem okay so far. You gave me your coat."
"That I did. My name's, uh, Jay. Yours is?"
"Arthur."
"Nice to meet you here, Arthur."
"Nice to meet you too, Jay. What brings you around this area?" I ask, looking up and down the street for my Uber. My head is starting to throb and the ground is swaying. I think I drank too much.
"Uni," he says, shrugging. "They wanted to give me a scholarship for football and it was the best way I could see to get the money for the degree I actually wanted."
"What did you actually wanna do?" I look over at him.
"Cook." He says, smiling to himself softly. "That sounds super weird. I promise I'm not weird or anything. I know guys who like to cook are, like, stereotyped. As like, gay, and... stuff."
"I'm gay," I mutter, glancing back at him.
"Oh. Shit, I'm sorry." He takes a moment and then his eyes widen. "Oh, no, I'm sorry. Did you think I was— I'm sorry. You're a handsome guy, I'm just-... I don't know."
"No, it's okay. Don't feel bad. You never got to choose your orientation either," I tell him, shrugging. "You should have your jacket back, my Uber will be here soon."
"Ah. Alright. Have a good night," he says, smiling, as I give him his jacket back. He's still hot, the fact that he's straight doesn't make him less hot.
Soon enough, my Uber pulls up and I climb into the passenger seat, greeting Eris. She's pleasant but this is obviously not her only job. I tell her that I live on campus and she pulls away from the curb and starts driving.
The drive is a blur. Glowing Golden Arches, Shell, Walmart. Grocery stores and bright-as-midday car dealerships. Eventually, the campus comes into view and I point to where my dorms are, already half asleep.
She taps my shoulder gently and I nod, getting out.
"Thanks."
"No problem. Be safe."
I nod, and make my way upstairs.
Soon enough, I'm in bed, opening my eyes and my phone is ringing. I pick it up and press the green button.
"Hello?"
Silence. A long stretch of static. I rub my eyes, still groggy and my head pounding.
"Hello, who is this?"
Someone sighs on the other end, peacefully.
"Hello, can you hear me?"
"Yeah, I can. You sound different."
I swallow. "Aedin?"
Silence. He hangs up.
I immediately call him back, and he picks up.
"Please don't yell at me. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to call you, I just didn't know what else to do." He sounds frantic, apologetic, exhausted. He sounds worse than he was when I first met him.
"I-..." I thought he was dead. I'd been trying not to think about it, but I thought he had killed himself. "I'm so glad you're okay."
"What?"
"I thought you were dead. I'm.. I'm sorry I said what I said. All of it. I'm so sorry. I want to see you again."
More silence. I hear him sniffle.
"Please. I need you to be close to me again," he says.
"I'll have a break, here, soon, and I'll come back to Philly. We can live together again, or maybe we should live separately and take it slow?"
"I don't live in Philly anymore."
"Where do you live, then?" I ask. I hope he didn't move further away.
"I live in Utah."
I smile. "That's where I am, too."