In the middle of the night, in front of my goddess. . .not just her but also all of the girls is now in front of me---others are seated while some are standing, most of them had their arm crossed as this is the final moment they've finally waiting for.
My confession! No, not a love confession but my 'lies and sins'!
Damn! Is this the pressure one can feel during thesis college defense?! I guess not.
Anyway I started to talk after that. . .or so I believed, they started to throwing me questions instead---
"Why calling Loki!?"
"Are you the Agwin that we know of!?"
"Or are you a traitor? A spy?"
Every night, curiosity strikes them but because they have the work to do, it always postponed. I also didn't stop working during daytime so our chance to gather like this is only during our dinner or special occasion!
Yes, today is that latter. A special occasion! It is my birthday today! the birthday of Agwin and is now 18 years old!
Guess they knew my background after all, or easy to say---that boy's background. Anyway. here I am in front of everyone.
We didn't throw a party, just your normal birthday or a normal date. A cake, a few dishes and all. And because its already late at night, it is finally our chance to gather.
There they are. Waiting for my explanation. Waiting for my answer.
"W-well, my memory is kind of a h-hazy" Is what I noted.
I wanted to make an excuse but Lyra form her normal sly smile, piercing glare at me--- "Don't fool me! Fool them but not me!" so she stated.
Damn that sly pink fox! I cursed out but after then, I sigh in a long period of time and started to speak.
From where this overflowing memory started, to why I turned to a different person. To how or when Ryu had found out my identity.
They looked at me with mix of disgusts and amazement after confessing about that [Shadow] thing who taught Zeus familia their lesson but Kami-sama didn't react at all. Not one bit of a disappointment nor happiness. Not a bit of disgust nor amazement. She's only listening. Lending her ears and absorb all of my words.
I don't know anymore. . .I can't seem to inch Kami-sama's feelings right now as this is the first time I feel like a prey in front of her gaze.
Maybe. . .just maybe this was my last night in Astraea familia. After all, I haven't yet to receive her blessing. You can say, its just counts as a tenant and nothing more. Kicking me out when I done something shitty.
But then, she reacts the moment I confessed something about how or why I didn't receive her falna. She grit her teeth with line of anger in her face and walked towards mine. . .Slapping me hard unguarded after.
Damn it! I should have expected it! I looked tried at her reaction---
But surprisingly, she hugged me after and even caressed my face who's turned in red from that palm.
Seriously, women indeed are unpredictable species, no matter what race are, no matter how omnipotent they are.
No matter how you have sinned, they will forgive you after one slap. Guess she really did treasure me. I don't even know how to pay this grace. . .But ahh, I want more! Ah no no no! not that slap, I ain't masochist alright!
That note aside.
That same night, Astraea-sama couldn't hide her feelings anymore but cried her lungs out unto my embrace, that even the girls didn't said any words after.
I don't know anymore. I didn't know I'm these selfish, I know that but only denying it. Ahh I really let them down. . .enough to let my precious goddess cry to this extent. . .
Slowly, she fell asleep with tears. I guess, she's mentally exhausted, thinking how she would react to my confessions.
My wrongdoings.
My lies. . .Thinking that, I promised not to lie again, ever.
After that did I slowly close my eyes while embracing her. I don't know when but I fell asleep too.
I only wake up at dawn and was surprised that not just me or Astraea-sama. . .this girls are also sleeping in the living room! Exhausted, and even some of them are---snoring!? Hey what the hell!? Where's your delicacy? I can't help but smile and only sigh.
"Phew" I guess I can call it a slumber party instead of a birthday party. . .
Looking at them, I thought: Good thing we have a carpet. So, they didn't get any cold, right? Right?
With that, I released my goddess from my embrace as I slowly lean her head to the sofa's pillow. I wanna to hug her more but I can't neglect this many snow whites here. They might caught a fever if I leave them like this.
I get all the blankets I can get ahold of and covers the remaining girls. I even give Kami-sama her own.
Guess they've been exhausted this past few days that even though the sun is already peeking, only Ryu-san and the other elf, Celty opened their eyes awake.
"Good morning you elves"
I greeted them with smile and move towards the kitchen. I'm not a cook but making simple breakfast is not even a challenge. So rolling my sleeve, I started.
●○●○●○
"You want me to help others inside the dungeon?"
"Uhm hmm! so you can officially become an Astraea adventurer!"
The same day that morning as we are eating our breakfast---
Is what Astraea-sama happily told me so. It's not that I don't want to be an adventurer nor become an apostle of justice, but I want to spoil you by myself and vice versa instead of going there! Ahhh...
After all, only I owned my goddess! I don't want my clone to get all of your attention! No!
Is what I wanted to convey but she really is persistent! Ahh goddamnit! I can't resists that smile! She's glittering again! After knowing that I can receive her blessing if I disregard my [Perfect Negation] during the Falna-ceremony, she couldn't hide her happiness.
"I agree, you're a strong fella to be reckoned with. . .I suggest you to be our captain instead, so be sure to always be level-headed and give real justice this time!"
I guess she still disgusts me until now, huh. Jeez. . .girl, you can only serve justice if you are stronger enough, you need an even more greater power and leash them to know their place! That is why you are feared when you have nuclear! Power is strength! Strength is justice.
Is what I wanted to say.
But different people have different perspective. So does her justice compares to mine. I also don't want to create more conflict so I didn't said that word. I promise not to. . .I never will.
That was captain Alise-san who speaks by the way.
Others didn't object her decision but what is this feeling of anxiety? I felt a tinged from my back. . .am I going use by them to death!? Ahhh, I hate it! I want only here alone with my goddess!
But from one corner, I saw an elf giggling. . .Ahh Ryu-san! Don't do this to me!
"What are you doing?" From her side arrived is the pallum with pink short hair, seeing her giggle: "Did you have the stomach ache?" So Lyra asks made Ryu-san blushed in red. She didn't know what to answer.
Hahaha Karma!
Anyway, as Alise-san's question, I looked back at my goddess again. Looking at her with teary eye, pleading her to take back her words but she covers her mouth with both hands...
Ahh, so cute~ but Ahh! Don't do this to me. . .goddess! I stretch my hand forward but she turn her body away! Wah--!
"Kami-samaaaaaaaa" I wanted to cry for real this time. Really.