Never, ever in my life did I think I would feel exhausted... or confused. I am proud of my ability to predict things and judge other people's behavior. These past days have been hectic, I admit. But I never think that it is beyond my control. I still think that I will be able to grasp what is happening around me. Yet, I had to admit again that this one is also outside my prediction.
I am not saying that I am not happy with the development, but I find it a little bit difficult to concentrate. I knew her, we talked too sometimes, and I saw her often. Yet, in just a few days, I have found more sides of her that I didn't know before.
I find that my eyes keep following her movement, her voice is soft and beautiful, her bashful face is irresistible, and she is not as prideful as people painted her. If last time I thought of her as a dignified empress, now I add that she is also a precious angel. She made me put my guard up more... Because if I don't, I am sure that my cheeks will blush like hell on fire.
What is Aoi-kun thinking, I wonder? Did he know what her presence here would do to me? Is he tempting me? What for?
It's been three days since they started coming here to study. Aoi-kun said that Kii feels uncomfortable in class because people keep gossiping about her, so he took her away. And as he doesn't know where else to go, he thinks that I wouldn't mind sharing some space in the student council office for them to study. I have no reason to refuse; besides, I can see Kii without needing any reason, which is good enough for me.
I was mistaken.
Being in Kii's presence for too long is not good. It makes it hard for me to focus on. It makes me not want to do any work; I just want to stare at her all day. Added with so many expressions she made, makes me want to... To... To do things to her.
God, I want to kiss her.
I close my eyes to calm myself. No, don't lose to your desire now, Arzen. It's not good. You're a patient person, remember? Kii won't go anywhere; she is already yours. Calm down... There will come a time when you can safely surrender to your desire, but now is not the time.
When I open my eyes again, Aoi-kun's frowning face is right in front of me. I blink in surprise.
"I am sorry, were you sleeping, Your Highness?" he asked.
"No, I was just closing my eyes to take a break from all these documents," I replied. There is no way I am going to tell him that I was distracted by his sister and thinking about kissing her.
"Did you say something that I wasn't aware of?" I continued.
"Yes, I was asking about the team for the exam. I have permission from the instructors to be in the same group as Kii. I was trying to tell you that and giving you this form as proof," Aoi-kun replied, then passed the acceptance form to me.
I read the form, and right as he said, he got permission from several instructors who are responsible for the exam to be in the same group as Kii. The form said that with the permission from the Headmaster, Kii's and Aoi-kun's group will be the only exception with two people from first year on it.
On the side note, the headmaster also advised me, the president, who they thought was the most excellent student in my year, to consider putting them on my team. They don't dare to ask me directly to them on my team, but disguise it as giving me advice. I think they did that because they knew just how much I hate being told to do something.
Well, this is just perfect. I was planning to put Kii in my group to begin with. Now, with this, I don't need to make an excuse for myself to do it. As I have told so many times, what I want is always easy to get. I don't even need to do anything to get it. That's why sometimes I feel like my life is really boring.
"Hmm, this is perfect then. I will put you in my group then. The list of the team will be posted on the board tomorrow for the students to see. I need to make a little adjustment for your previous group before I give it to the headmaster for approval... and all done now," I told him distractedly as I finished the review for the adjustment of Aoi-kun's previous group.
"What about Kii?" Aoi-kun's voice asked again.
I turn to him, then look at Kii, who was still sitting on the sofa, reading her textbook. At the sound of her name, she looks up at us. Her head tilted in confusion.
"What about Kii?" I asked Aoi-kun back, too distracted to notice that I was repeating his question.
"Yes, what about Kii? You said you're going to put me in your group, but what about Kii? The form is the permission form for me to be in the same group as Kii, not you, Your highness," he explained as if I were a little kid who doesn't know anything.
I want to roll my eyes at him, but it would be childish, so "Kii is already in the same group as me," I told him instead.
"Pardon?" Aoi-kun blinks at me in confusion.
"I already put Kii in my group," I explained.
"You already put Kii in your group... " Aoi-kun trailed.
"Kii and I are already in the same group," I confirm.
"Woah... I never thought it's gonna be easy... gotta tell Nii-Sama and the other... Woah... this is really great. Oh wow... I dunno what I gotta say... " Aoi-kun mumbling to himself in a small voice. He seems to have forgotten that Kii and I are still around and can hear him just fine.
He keeps mumbling that this situation is great and he is happy, then without even telling me anything, he caresses Kii's head, whispering "Good for you, Kii", opens the door, and went he goes to Ether-sama knows where.
There were silent in a few heartbeats. Kii stared at the door in daze for a few seconds before she blinked in confusion. She turns to me as if asking for an explanation, which I don't have, because I, myself, also don't understand what just occurred a few seconds ago.
I hold both my hands in surrender. Kii sighs in defeat as a reply. We look at each other for a moment before smiling at each other. We don't know why, but the situation suddenly feels funny in our eyes.
"Have you done studying?" I asked her instead. Kii nods in reply.
"I have finished my paperwork for today, too. I still have to pass these to the teacher's lounge. Would you like to go for a walk with me after that, Kii?" I asked calmly.
My heart was beating hard against my chest while waiting for her reply. I can't stop myself from smiling as she shyly replies, "It would be my pleasure"
After listening to Aoi-kun and seeing Kii's expression that time, I decided that I would change my attitude towards Kii. After all, what is the point in loving her if she doesn't know it? What is the point of my fighting for the happiness with her in the future if Kii doesn't understand that I did it for her? If, while I was fighting for her, she herself is suffering because she doesn't know that she was loved and what I did is for her. Everything will be pointless then, if the person I want to be happy is suffering because I failed to inform her that what I did is for her.
Happy with the promising date with Kii, I excuse myself to go to the teacher's lounge to pass the paperwork. I asked Kii to wait in the office for me so we can go out together after that.
I went out of the office with a content feeling, yet came back with a bit of a disgruntled feeling.
"Welcome back," Kii greets softly.
I sigh at her. There is this uneasy feeling in my heart. I don't know whether I am feeling like this because of the discussion a few days ago or something else.
It's as if I am being paranoid now. Well, I am always paranoid. I mean more than usual. I am starting to think that Lady Reyes is on to something. Maybe part of my suspicions is because I was listening to Aoi-kun's suspicion a few days ago. Granted that Aoi-kun didn't tell us exactly that he was suspicious of Lady Reyes, but I know how to read between the lines. Besides, it seems that not only Aoi-kun, who is feeling suspicious of her, but also Akai-san, Lady Wallace, and even Esteemed Brother also seem to share the same feeling.
And now with this, I also become wary.
"Are you okay, Your Highness?" Kii asked me after I was silent for too long.
"I am okay, Kii. It's just there is something that occupies me for a second there." I smile at her and offer my hand to her. She accepted it gratefully as I led her out of the office.
"I think you should not call me Your Highness anymore, Kii," I told her as we turned to the garden.
"Eh?" Kii asked, taken aback by my suggestion.
"You remember what Aoi-kun said about Lady Reyes?" I asked.
"I do, but what has it to do with not calling Your Highness, Your Highness?" Kii asks in wonder.
"When I went to the teachers just knew, they asked me if I was willing to put Lady Reyes in my group as well. They said that Lady Reyes has been left alone because no one wants to be in the same group as her, which is weird, because I just finished the list of the group and no one is supposed to know yet who is in the same group as who," I begin.
"Then they said that Lady Reyes had come to them to ask for help, as this exam is very important for her. She is a transfer student after all, so like the first year, this is also her first exam, and if she is being sabotaged in this exam, she will be in big trouble because of it. So they asked for my help to take care of her, too," I finished.
"Don't you think this is weird, Kii? Aoi-kun said that she would want to be in the same group as me. These past few days, I heard that she has been looking for me, but because I was busy and I refused to accept anyone in the office, in worry bout disturbing both of you who were studying there, I haven't had a chance to meet her. Yet she went so far as to go to the teachers for it." I said.
"Maybe she is really in trouble and really desperate for help. His Highness is probably her best choice because no one will dare to disagree or bully her if she is in His Highness's presence," Kii speculates.
As we move to take a seat in a gazebo, I am reflecting just how pure Kii is. Opposite of me, who immediately thought of something fishy, she tried to think of a positive possibility first.
"Hmm, you have a point there. You don't mind being in the same group as her, Kii?" I asked her again.
"I don't mind," She replied.
"What if the suspicion is correct and she was there to harm you?" I pressed.
"Aoi-sama... Er, I mean Aoi-nii would be there. He will protect me and... " she trails
"And?" I urge.
"And His Highness also would be there. So I'm sure I will be safe," She said softly, her red cheeks accompanying her answer.
I am glad to hear that she trusted me enough to think that I can keep her safe. I would like to kiss her right there, right then. But we are outside, and it seems just too improper a thing to do. So...
"Thank you, Kii," I said instead.
Our afternoon passed nicely. Spending time with Kii is something that I find delightful, it seems. I regretted the fact that I had been missing these moments before now.
The thought of Lady Reyes and the exam gone from my mind as I hear Kii's voice answering every question I had with a patient yet shy smile.
For a moment, being with Kii makes me feel that the boredom that I always associated with my life is no longer there.
I knew I loved this girl; I never thought that it was possible to be more in love with her.
It would be wonderful if I were allowed to touch her, to have her in my arms. I am aware of this desire to monopolize her that had been in my heart for so long. To have her for myself. I just hope these desires of mine won't become uncontrollable.