Misha lay flat on his stomach, his phone discarded beside the pillow. He could not unread what he had read, and his mind was a melting mess of disorganized thoughts and odd emotions that were antagonizing each other. No wonder Gabriel told him to wait. He did mention wanting to avoid incidents on their first time, and a thorough clean-up was necessary for that. That place wasn't meant to put things inside, after all. Although Misha thought that was up for debate, considering where the prostate was.
"Are you alright?" Gabriel's somewhat amused voice resounded, snapping Misha back to reality. He peered at the man, whose bathrobe hung loosely on his shoulders, the belt barely holding it around his waist. Water droplets dangled on his damp hair, proof of the shower he had just taken.
"Are you alright…?"
"I wouldn't have left the bathroom if I weren't," Gabriel chuckled as he peeked at Misha's phone. He didn't comment on what he saw, however. "Did I make you wait for so long that you're not up to it anymore?"
"No, of course not!" Misha quickly refuted before sitting up straight, his cheeks flaring up. "It's just that… I'm not sure I'd be able to bottom one day. That shit looks scary as hell."
"So, even you can get scared sometimes?" Gabriel teased, stretching an arm to gently caress his cheek. The gesture was tender, and his eyes were doting. It left Misha at a loss. "I thought you were fearless."
"Well, turns out I'm not!" Misha pouted as he leaned against Gabriel's hand. "But it really doesn't bother you…? I mean, you say you'd rather top yesterday."
"It honestly doesn't. I don't mind because it's you. You know how much I hate not being in control, right?" Gabriel waited for Misha to nod before continuing. "That's one of the main reasons I'd rather top. But I don't mind leaving my body to you because I trust you, and I feel like I can still dote and spoil you in that position. I also don't want to do something you don't want to do, and I'll not try to coerce you into trying it if it doesn't interest you."
Gabriel's calm and steady voice made Misha feel like a hopeless idiot. What was he so afraid of? He could always try, and if he didn't like it, Gabriel wouldn't get offended by it. With that in mind, he let his head fall on the man's shoulder, snuggling against him. He whispered just loud enough for him to hear:
"Actually, I'd like to try next time. No guarantee I'll be able to go through with it, though."
"That's fine by me," Gabriel chuckled as he kissed Misha's temple. "Like I said, we can take things slow. I intend to spend a lifetime with you, and we can try many things together during that time. There's no need to rush."
The words 'spend a lifetime with you' made Misha's heart flutter. He felt bubbly at the thought, and happiness washed over him like a tidal wave. He wrapped Gabriel's waist with his arms and dragged him into the bed, making him fall atop him. Now lying on his back, Misha stared into Gabriel's deep-green eyes with a tender smile on his lips. He nibbled on his chin as he asked softly:
"Did you loosen yourself in the shower, too?"
"Not really, I just washed," Gabriel laughed meekly. "I had a hunch you'd like to do it yourself."
"It's crazy how well you know me."
Exactly because Gabriel could tell what Misha intended to do, he was standing on all four over him, his knees beside his hips, and his elbows beside his shoulders. Even so, he couldn't help but flinch when Misha's finger slid under the bathrobe. He reminded him with a low chuckle::
"Don't forget the lube."
Misha froze an instant. Right, he had read about that. He glanced at the night desk, where a bottle stood proudly. Gabriel had anticipated he'd rush and took the opportunity put the lube at arm's reach when he was brooding over his research. It made Misha feel a little embarrassed. Thus, without uttering a word, he stretched to whisk away the bottle and put a generous amount of lube on his fingers. He didn't know how much he needed: he thought that more was better than not enough. He'd rather everything got slippery than hurt Gabriel. With that in mind, he thought it'd be better to change position, but deep down, he knew that, despite what Gabriel said, he still wanted to feel like he was in control. Staying atop Misha and caging him under him was one way.
Not like Misha minded. The view was entrancing, as the bathrobe had slipped on his shoulders, revealing his cleavage and the upper part of his chest. Misha licked his teeth and, after glancing at Gabriel, let his tongue out to plaster it against a nipple, trying to distract him as his fingers trailed back to his rear. As if to encourage him, Gabriel supported his body with one hand and used the other to grab Misha's head, keeping him close to his chest.
Misha's heart was beating fast as his hands took hold of Gabriel's buttcheeks, parting them while an index finger slid between in search of the tight entrance. Once he found it, Misha gently but firmly pushed it inside, earning him a muffled moan of discomfort. But Gabriel didn't tell him to stop, so he continued. The lube made it easy to go in despite the tightness, although Misha had a hunch it might not be a comfortable feeling yet. Still, he started to move back and forth, trying to find that sweet spot. People always seemed to find it right away in fiction… Unfortunately, Misha would have to come to terms with the fact that he wasn't as skilled as they were. He couldn't find it.
"Are you alright…?" Misha whispered against Gabriel's chest, his breath tickling the now dampened nipple. He could feel his partner's body tremble at the sudden sensation, arousing him all the more.
"Yes," Gabriel hummed. "It's an odd sensation, but it doesn't hurt. I'm fine. I'll tell you when I feel like you can put in a second finger."
"O-ok," Misha stuttered a little, a bit of shyness tainting his cheeks in crimson hues. He didn't know if he liked the man's calmness or not. It felt like he was the only one who thought his heart was about to burst. But shouldn't he have known? Gabriel was like this, self-controlled and composed. He could not help but wonder if he'd stay as collected even under him later on…
"What are you thinking about?" Gabriel murmured, kissing the top of his head. "Your finger is slowing down."
"It's nothing," Misha pursed his lips, pinching the nipple between his teeth in annoyance. "I'm just taken aback by how calm you are, that's all."
To this, Gabriel let out a resounding laugh, startling Misha. He released the mistreated nipple and lifted his eyes, throwing his head backward to look at Gabriel's face. Although the lights were set on a dim setting, he still managed to get a good look, and what he saw left him speechless.
"Do I seem that collected to you?"
The doting smile that then stretched Gabriel's lips was the last straw: Misha felt the barely hanging thread of his sanity snap in half. Because of their position, he hadn't seen Gabriel's face until now and based his assumption on his poised voice alone. He hadn't seen the tinge of red reddening the corner of Gabriel's eyes, nor had he seen the emotions twirling in the depths of his eyes. They weren't exactly embarrassment or shyness, but they nevertheless betrayed his inner thoughts. He was excited by Misha's caress. The realization struck like a lightning bolt, and Misha couldn't restrain himself. Not after noticing that the man he thought unaffected was, in fact, just as aroused as he was.
In a swift movement, Misha flipped Gabriel over so that he'd lie under him, whispering a "sorry" as he did. He couldn't resist kissing him deeply, fearing Gabriel would complain after the sudden change in position. But he didn't, and instead wrapped his arms around Misha's neck, spreading his legs wider to give him better access. He cut the kiss short to murmur against his lips:
"As long as you don't try to make me face the bed, it's fine," he put another butterfly-like kiss on his lips before explaining, "I want to see you."
Misha's cheeks flared up a bit more. He knew Gabriel wouldn't feel at ease with his back to him, not for something he was experiencing for the first time. Considering how he hated not being in control, it was already a miracle he was letting him do whatever he wanted, and Misha knew perfectly well that was because it was him and no one else. With that in mind, he certainly wouldn't push the boundary. Misha wanted to reassure him, but before he could reply, Gabriel added as he glanced down to their lower halves:
"I think you can add another finger."
And so Misha did, starting to widen the entrance with gentle scissors movements. Gabriel appeared uncomfortable, and his member was only half-hard. Still, he didn't tell Misha to stop and instead kissed his jaw, then his neck. He went lower to his collarbone to leave a hickey. Leaving it any higher would allow others to see and arouse suspicion. Even in the heat of the moment, Gabriel was still somewhat rational.
But perhaps that wouldn't last.