The kitchen smelled like garlic, basil, and just the faintest hint of impending disaster.
Tony was at the stove, sleeves rolled up, stirring a rich tomato sauce with the practiced ease of someone who rarely got to cook but was irritatingly good at it when he did. A pot of linguine boiled beside him. The AI-controlled vent fan hummed above, while Frank Sinatra played softly from hidden speakers overhead.
Rhodey leaned against the island, a glass of wine in hand, watching with suspicion.
"You're making pasta. From scratch."
Tony pointed his wooden spoon at him. "Yes, Colonel Doubts-a-lot. Some of us have range."
"Is this some weird billionaire apology dish?"
Tony smirked. "Only if you hate carbohydrates and sincerity."
Rhodey chuckled, setting his glass down. "No complaints. Just this feels like one of those moments before something explodes."
As if summoned by prophecy, a loud crash echoed from upstairs, followed by muffled shouting and the distinct thud of someone hitting a wall.
Then came the voice bright, irreverent, unmistakably Deadpool.
"STARK! You got any fire extinguishers that shoot ice cream? Asking for a science project!"
Tony didn't even flinch. "And there it is."
Rhodey groaned, already rising. "Do I even want to know?"
"Nope." Tony sighed, turned off the burner, and grabbed a towel. "But you're going to anyway. I'll get the food covered. You go stop Wade from setting up another 'fun zone' in the workshop."
"Why is he still here?" Rhodey muttered as he headed out.
"Because Peter adopted a stray and I'm a sucker for loyalty!" Tony called after him, shaking his head.
The pasta finished cooking in peace.
Mostly.
Just as Tony plated it, Deadpool reappeared helmet off, holding what looked like a half-melted experimental compound in a taco shell.
"Rhodey says I can't eat this," he said, sounding genuinely confused. "But if it tastes like battery acid, doesn't that mean it's working?"
Tony blinked. "You know what? Eat first. Question science later."
Deadpool grinned. "You're my favorite Iron Dad."
Tony groaned. "That's it. I'm locking the lab."
Thursday, 1:30 PM – Stark Tower, Lower Lab
By the time Deadpool was sent off to "go alphabetize the nanite cabinet" (an impossible task Tony made up on the spot), the real work began.
Tony stood over a holographic table, projections of Peter's latest suit spinning in sleek blue light. Across from him, Peter Parker leaned in with all the enthusiasm of a kid let loose in Willy Wonka's workshop if the candy was vibranium alloy and the Oompa Loompas were voice-activated AI arms.
"Okay," Tony said, typing mid-air to adjust the schematic. "You wanted to improve glide range? I swapped out the web wings for reactive polymer mesh. Stronger under wind pressure, more flexible on dives."
Peter nodded quickly. "That's yeah, that's amazing. Oh! What about the thermal regulators? Last suit nearly cooked me when I chased Electro through that electrical substation."
"Right." Tony tapped a panel. "Upgraded. Nano-weave cooling mesh. You'll feel like a popsicle wrapped in Kevlar."
"Nice." Peter looked at the display, a little awed. "You didn't sleep last night, did you?"
Tony just shrugged. "I sleep when you kids stop putting yourselves in mortal danger. So never."
Peter gave a sheepish smile. "Hey, I've been better! Less bruises, more dodging."
"That's only because MJ's been threatening to ban you from movie night if you come in limping."
Peter laughed. "She says it ruins the popcorn experience."
Tony smiled, softer now. He reached over, tousling Peter's hair in that way he knew Peter half-loved, half-pretended to hate.
"You're getting good, kid. Real good."
Peter blinked up at him. "Thanks, Mr. Stark."
There was a beat of quiet, the kind that settled gently, like a shared breath. Then Peter tilted his head.
"Hey... where's Ned? He was supposed to meet us here after lunch."
Tony glanced up from the interface, casual but not dismissive. "He's around. Working with R&D a few floors down."
Peter's brows lifted. "Wait-what? Like, officially?"
Tony smirked. "Unofficially officially. He impressed a few of the engineers with his code optimizations and data decrypts. Figured I'd keep him busy before he hacks into the Pentagon again for fun."
Peter grinned. "Okay, that's awesome. And also mildly concerning."
"Welcome to the Stark internship program."