The ride to dinner was, in Tony's words, "an acoustic nightmare."
Ned had discovered the Jeep's backseat surround sound system and was playing the star wars theme from his phone loudly and doing mock explosions with his hands.
"Pew! Pew! Ned Leeds saves the day again!"
MJ, unimpressed, leaned against the door with her arms crossed and earbuds in volume off.
"I've known Peter since middle school, and this is still somehow the most secondhand embarrassment I've ever felt."
Peter sat in the front seat, flustered but grinning.
"Come on, MJ. It's not that bad."
"You're right. It's worse."
Tony, who hadn't said a word in five minutes, finally sighed.
"I should've let Happy drive. Or put the Jeep in autopilot and ejected myself through the sunroof."
They pulled into the private underground entrance of a high-end restaurant Tony rented out on the fly. MJ looked around the empty dining room with a raised eyebrow.
"Wow. Stark-level rich people really said, 'I hate other people.'"
Tony held the door open with a smirk.
"I mean, can you blame us? People are exhausting."
They settled into a booth Peter practically vibrating with excitement, Ned snapping photos of the custom silverware, and MJ requesting sparkling water "with a twist of lemon and existential dread."
Dinner arrived: sliders, steak bites, fancy fries, and mocktails. Tony ordered real whiskey. "Because someone here has to be old enough to carry trauma responsibly."
Dinner Table Chaos
"Okay," Tony began, "rules for dinner with me: no discussing your GPA, no politics, and no accidentally revealing your secret identity to the waiter."
Peter nodded seriously.
"Got it. Don't tell anyone I'm Spider wait. Nope. Just kidding. Didn't say that."
MJ snorted into her glass.
"He literally folded like a dollar store lawn chair."
"And yet," Tony said, leaning back, "this is the same kid who fought the Vulture with duct tape and homework in his backpack."
"To be fair, it was reinforced duct tape," Peter added helpfully.
"You had homework in your backpack while fighting?" Ned asked, wide-eyed.
"Yeah. I mean AP Chemistry waits for no one."
MJ gave him a look that could curdle milk.
"You're lucky you're cute."
Peter nearly short-circuited. Ned choked on his drink. Tony just grinned.
"Aww. They grow up so fast. Just yesterday you were dangling from a fire escape with training wheels on your web-shooters."
"That was two months ago," Peter muttered.
"Exactly my point."
After Dinner Plans
As plates were cleared and dessert arrived giant slices of cheesecake in flavors even Peter hadn't heard of Tony leaned forward, more serious now.
"Alright, nerds. After this, we head to the lab. I've got some updates on the suits I want feedback on. Roo your web fluid dispenser has a new flow mod. Ned, I integrated that drone swarm idea you emailed me. And MJ."
"You're letting me use a Stark microscope without security watching my every move?"
"Nope," Tony said. "You're gonna supervise these two so they don't accidentally build a murder robot. Again."
"That was one time!" Peter exclaimed.
"And it almost passed the Turing test," Ned added.
MJ sipped her drink.
"I swear, if you two accidentally Skynet this place, I'm blaming both of you in my memoir."
"Can I write the foreword?" Tony asked.
"Only if you die dramatically."
On the way out, Peter lingered behind to catch up with Tony.
"Hey, Mr. Stark?"
"What's up, Roo?"
"Thanks. For all this. Dinner. The upgrades. Picking us up. You didn't have to."
Tony looked down at him, the faintest smile pulling at the edge of his mouth.
"Yeah, I did."
He ruffled Peter's hair eliciting a half-laugh, half-grumble from the teen.
"Besides," Tony said, "you kids are the only people I trust to save the world and critique my cheesecake ordering skills."