(Aaron's POV)
"Dude, if one more eighth grader shoves me into a trophy case, I'm using my binder as a weapon," Liam muttered, adjusting his backpack as we navigated the chaotic, fluorescent-lit hallway.
I laughed, but my stomach was doing nervous flips. The crowded halls of middle school felt a million miles away from our quiet woods. "Just use your Excalibur branch from the playground. That'll scare 'em off."
He flashed that quick, dazzling smile—the one that was suddenly drawing a lot more attention from people in the halls than it used to. "Don't tempt me, Aaron."
But things were changing. *I* was changing. A second later, he bumped his shoulder against mine to get my attention, pointing at a flyer on the wall.
"Look at that. We should totally sign up for the video game tournament this weekend. We'd crush it."
I looked at him—really looked at his wild curls, his sharper jawline, the way his dark eyes held mine a second too long—and my breath just trapped itself in my throat. A wave of pure panic hit me. *Oh,* I thought, the realization striking me like a physical blow. *Oh no. I am completely, irrevocably in love with my best friend.*
"Aaron? Earth to Aaron. You awake?"
"Yeah," I choked out, forcing a loud, defensive laugh. "Yeah, tournament. Definitely."
That night, staring at my bedroom ceiling, the internal warfare was brutal. *What if it disgusts him? What if I lose him?* I pressed my palms against my chest to force down the physical ache. "It's just a phase," I whispered into the dark. "You'll get over it."
***
Later that day, we were sitting at our usual spot chatting about some nonsense topic that always get us burst out laughing while we eat our undeniably worse taste of combination of sweet and sour food snacks.
"So then the guy looks at his controller, looks at the screen, and—"
I was mid-sentence, leaning across our usual cafeteria table, ready to drop the punchline that I knew would have Liam choking on his chocolate milk.
"Hey, Liam!"
The voice was a vibrant, inviting melody that sliced right through my words. Linna sauntered over, her fiery red hair catching the harsh cafeteria lights, her sparkling eyes locked entirely on him. She was a whirlwind of bright, terrifying enthusiasm.
"Hey, Linna," Liam said, his posture instantly shifting.
"Want to study for the math test together after school?
I've got notes on the geometry formulas."
"Oh. Yeah, totally. That'd be awesome," Liam replied, his smile turning into that radiant, effortless thing that used to belong just to our private universe.
My throat tightened, a fierce, ugly jealousy choking me. *Aaron and Liam versus the world*, right? Except the world just walked up in a denim jacket. I forced my muscles to cooperate, plastering on my best, most supportive smile while ice flooded my veins.
"Yeah, go for it, man," I chipped in, trying to keep my hands from shaking on the plastic table. "I've got... stuff to do after school anyway."
"You sure, Aaron?" Liam asked, turning back to me. "You could join us."
"Nah, math isn't my thing. Have fun, though."
Then I stand up struggling to get my composure leaving them both behind. As I left, I already heard them shared laughter as if I was just some substitute to fill up the space that was really meant for them.
***
A few weeks later, the illusion of our old life was completely fracturing. We were in my dimly lit basement for a movie marathon, but Linna was sitting right between us.
"No, wait, don't open that door!" Linna laughed, leaning into Liam's side as the horror movie jumped.
"I told you he shouldn't have gone in there," Liam chuckled. He reached out, his hand moving automatically, and gently brushed a stray lock of red hair away from her face.
It was a tender, devastatingly intimate gesture. I sat on the opposite end of the couch, my chest tightening to the point of actual pain. I had spent a thousand nights wishing he would look at me like that. I was becoming a ghost in my own life, hovering at the periphery of a love story that didn't belong to me.
I stood up abruptly, rubbing my eyes. "Hey, guys? I think I'm gonna call it a night. Getting a really bad headache."
"Already?" Liam looked up, a flicker of genuine concern in his eyes. "We haven't even ordered the pizza yet."
"Yeah, just really tired," I lied, backing out of the room before the tears could sting my eyes. "You guys stay, though. Seriously."I smiled and forced myself to say the word even though it tasted like ashed before leaving.
The walk back home was brutal as I still remember the way Linna and Liam was so comfortable sharing smile with each other. The thought of how Liam caress a small strand of hair on Linna's face with a gentle touch and how perfect they were together sending me like I was being tortured by putting multiple needles in my heart one at a time.
The night cool air was so cold and pale as if honoring how I feel and reminding me how far Liam go from the boy who always stay by my side with a wide smile to the boy who just acknowledging my presence not caring if I feel neglected or ignored.
"Get a gripped, Aaron. We're just friend." I murmured to myself as if it'll removed the feelings I'm hiding for more than 4 years.