Chapter 7: "Poison, Parkas, and the Gorgon Quick-Mart"
(In which Naruto learns poison is the solution, Immortals are terrible at retail, and apparently, Gorgons give loyalty card discounts.)
Naruto walked out of the park like a man on a mission—which he technically was, if you counted "find new clothes, maybe slay a dragon" as part of a mission. Perched on his shoulder was Ella, his nymph companion, looking like the world's most disinterested parrot as she half-dozed in the sunlight. On his head, Gaia—tiny, ethereal, and perpetually unimpressed—lounged like she owned the place.
Honestly, she kind of did. She was the spirit of the Earth, after all.
"So," Naruto said, squinting at a suspiciously overpriced clothing boutique across the street, "what's the verdict?"
He wasn't talking about fashion. Which was good, because Naruto had about as much fashion sense as a satyr in rollerblades.
Gaia didn't even bother sitting up. Her voice was flat, like she was delivering bad news about a school cafeteria menu. "The effect of consuming weaklings is wearing off. You'll need to hunt stronger monsters soon or your power's going to flatline."
Naruto raised an eyebrow. "Flatline as in…?"
"As in, your power growth will hit a brick wall, and that dragon will turn you into campfire sushi."
Lovely.
"Then I'll just go after stronger prey," Naruto said, ever the optimist. "Dumb monsters. Nothing I haven't handled before."
Gaia rolled her eyes. "This one flies and breathes fire, you walnut. It's about as dumb as a flaming chainsaw with wings."
Ella snorted from his shoulder, clearly enjoying the image.
Naruto scratched his head. "Okay, okay. So we take out the wings. Ella flies with the axe, clips them while it's airborne, and I hit it with everything from the ground."
There was a long pause.
"That's… borderline clever," Gaia admitted. "But suicidal. Dragons aren't known for their patience. The second it feels threatened, you're going to be roasted like a Thanksgiving turkey."
Naruto winced. "I'm sensing a 'but' coming."
"But," Gaia continued, smirking now, "there's a way to tilt the odds. Ever heard of poison?"
Naruto blinked. "I mean, sure. I've seen people use it on rats and cheating boyfriends."
Gaia rolled her eyes again. "This poison would need to be potent enough to kill a creature with literal lava in its veins. You can't just pick it up at Walgreens."
"Then where?" Naruto asked.
She gave him that sly, knowing smile that usually meant either something brilliant or something completely insane was about to happen.
"The Gorgon Sisters."
He stopped walking. Ella nearly fell off his shoulder.
"The Gorgon Sisters? As in, snake-hair, turn-you-to-stone, Athena-had-a-jealousy-fit Gorgon Sisters?"
"They've adapted," Gaia said brightly. "You'll find them running a convenience store now."
Naruto stared. "A convenience store?"
Gaia gave an innocent shrug, which was impressive for someone who weighed about half a pound and lived on his head. "It's genius, really. Tourists wander in looking for snacks. Boom—statues."
Naruto let out a low whistle. "Okay. Slightly evil. But impressive."
"They've also got access to some very rare poisons. The kind that can melt divine liver."
"…Charming," Naruto muttered.
As they made their way down a cracked sidewalk past a very confused-looking poodle statue (he didn't ask), Gaia's voice softened just a little.
"What will you do when you find them? Kill them?"
He paused.
"No," he said finally. "Not if I don't have to. They didn't choose what happened to them. Athena… she was wrong. If the Sisters are willing to help, we make a deal. If they aren't…"
His voice grew quiet. Steel threaded through the usual warmth. "I'm not letting anyone else die. Not for pity. Not for history. They hurt kids, Gaia. That's a line."
Gaia gave a rare, genuine nod. "Good answer. You're not stupid. Just idealistic. Try not to let that get you killed."
Naruto grinned, flicking a small pebble off the road like it offended him. "Yeah, I've heard that one before."
The sun glinted through the clouds as they walked, casting long shadows ahead of them. Somewhere up the road, nestled between a cat café and a vape shop that smelled like despair, lay a little store with flickering lights, a serpent-shaped neon "OPEN" sign, and three sisters who could end you with a glance—or save the world, depending on their mood.
Naruto adjusted his jacket, straightened his back, and kept walking.
Time to meet the Gorgons.
And maybe—just maybe—buy some poison with his loyalty points.
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The morning had started like most adventures in Naruto Uzumaki's life: with high hopes and an absurdly simple goal that promptly derailed into a low-grade apocalypse.
All he wanted was to get Ella some decent clothes.
But the universe, in all its divine humor, decided nope—you'll fight five mutant hellhounds, trip over a carnivorous tree root, and discover that monster loot mechanics made absolutely no sense.
"Seriously, what is a dog doing carrying a pair of daggers?" Naruto muttered as he wiped some monster goo off the curved blade. "What, was it going through a rebellious phase?"
Ella, perched lightly on a nearby rock, tilted her head and smiled. She was still munching on one of the spiritual pills he had given her—her sixth that morning—and although the radiant glow she'd gained from the first dose had dulled to a faint shimmer, Naruto didn't regret it. Even a fraction of strength could mean survival in this messed-up, mystery-filled world.
Plus, feeding your tiny companion power pellets like a mystical Tamagotchi was oddly endearing.
As they continued down the broken path, more creatures ambushed them—horned rabbits that spat acid, slug-wolves with chainmail hides, and one very confused-looking raccoon with a broadsword. Naruto dispatched them all, partly because he was getting better, and partly because he was really not in the mood.
By the time the two stumbled into the ruins of a once-glorious marketplace, Naruto looked like he'd rolled through a dungeon, which, to be fair, he basically had. Most of the shops were half-destroyed husks, but one clothing boutique still stood—its sign hanging sideways, held up by the pure spite of rusty nails.
Inside, the store was dusty but surprisingly intact. Racks still held faded garments, mannequins still stood like forgotten soldiers, and in the back, a small dressing area had miraculously survived.
"I think this is it," Naruto said, brushing dust off a pair of shorts.
Ella floated beside him, humming softly. She was already tugging a sports bra over her form, the material stretching awkwardly over her shoulders. Naruto tried to look anywhere but directly at her. "Yeah, that's... that's good coverage. Very functional. Five stars."
Then came the shorts.
Getting them on Ella was a struggle. Getting them off without tearing the fabric or committing seventeen different violations of personal space? Nearly impossible.
"They're too tight," Ella said calmly, clearly unbothered.
"I noticed," Naruto groaned, kneeling as he tried to gently un-wedge a corner of the waistband without dislocating her hips. "These are made for… I don't even know. Fairies with zero concept of friction?"
"I really wish for a pair of shorts that worked mentally," he muttered, yanking his hand back in frustration.
Ella just beamed at him like the sun breaking through clouds. "Don't worry, Naruto. I'm happy with just this."
"No," Naruto said firmly, standing up and pacing in a circle like a general planning a siege. "We'll find a solution. A magical one. With mental commands and perfect elasticity. Something you can actually remove without calling for backup."
She laughed, the sound like wind chimes caught in spring breeze.
As they left the shop—Ella now modestly covered but no more mobile than a wrapped burrito—Naruto couldn't help but think about how bizarre life had become.
Monsters were dropping weapons, Ella was walking around like a mini warrior, and he was slowly morphing into a fashion-forward survivalist who slayed beasts by day and altered wardrobe logistics by night.
Still, it was progress. Even if it involved dagger-wielding dogs and telepathic pants.
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If you've ever tried meditating in a landfill, don't. Take it from Naruto Uzumaki. It's like trying to hear your heartbeat while someone shreds metal in your ear and sprays you with gasoline. Add in the whispers of a vengeful planet, and you've got a recipe for a divine meltdown.
The city was a mess—like someone had fed a metropolis through a blender and hit liquify. Skyscrapers slouched like they were ashamed to still be standing. The sky choked on its own smog. The ground? Scarred like a battlefield that lost the war against oil spills, concrete, and decades of human apathy.
Naruto walked in silence, his footsteps stirring dust and memory. The wind carried the burnt scent of a dying forest that had once stood proud here—now a parking lot beneath his boots. With each breath, his Sage Mode prickled against his skin like fire ants doing interpretive dance.
And then it hit him.
It was subtle at first—like standing too close to a speaker you didn't realize was on. Then it grew. Anger. Ancient, overwhelming anger. It wasn't his.
It was Gaia's.
The will of nature surged into him like a tidal wave of fury. His heartbeat synced with the earth's pain: melting ice caps, razed jungles, poisoned rivers. It was grief. It was rage. It was a punch in the face with every hurricane and wildfire humanity ever ignored.
His eyes snapped open—no longer the serene gold of a Sage, but glowing red. Lava red.
"Stop," Gaia's voice cracked like thunder behind calm clouds. Sharp, commanding, and… worried. "Don't let it consume you."
Naruto staggered, hands clenched. The storm within him roared. "What is this?" he snarled, his voice layered with something deeper, something old.
Gaia stepped forward in his mindscape—tall, regal, her eyes green as moss and just as ancient. "This is the planet's pain," she said softly. "And the cost of being my Champion."
Naruto gritted his teeth. "I thought I was just supposed to punch monsters and plant some trees."
Gaia didn't laugh. "You think saving the world is about punching things? It's about changing people. Heal the land, yes—but if hearts remain poisoned, nothing will last."
He breathed in sharply, forced the red from his eyes. Slowly, the flood receded. His fists relaxed.
"Fine," he muttered. "One thing at a time. We'll talk about this later."
Gaia nodded. "Good."
A few monster ambushes later (a hydra that mistook him for a chew toy, and a spirit of smog that exploded into literal car exhaust), Naruto arrived at his destination: a dusty, flickering convenience store on the edge of nowhere.
Gaia had said they'd be here. The sisters.
He stepped inside. Bells jingled overhead. The air smelled like incense, old perfume, and mischief.
Behind the counter stood two women. Stunning didn't even cover it—they had the kind of beauty that made Immortals forget their names. Long hair, eyes like ancient coins, smiles that promised trouble with a side of eternity.
"Welcome," one said smoothly.
Naruto smiled politely, but his senses stayed sharp. Something about them was… off.
Then, he heard it.
"Sister, another monster who wants to court us," one of them—Stheno—whispered.
"Let's enjoy it, Stheno," the other replied. "It's been centuries since we had a flirt worth our time."
Naruto didn't rise to the bait. He walked up, cool as a glacier, and said, "Hello. I'd like to talk with you about something important."
The sisters blinked.
Not drooling? Not trying to impress them? Interesting.
Euryale, the more composed of the two, tilted her head. "We're listening."
Naruto met their eyes. "I can help you get revenge on those two Olympians who wronged you. I can heal your curses."
Boom.
Just like that, Stheno lunged, grabbing his collar. "You're serious?" she hissed, nose an inch from his.
"Yes."
"What do you want?" Euryale asked. Her tone was cautious, but there was curiosity now—like a cat circling a spark.
Naruto's voice was calm, firm. "Your blood. Both kinds. The venom and the healing one."
Euryale raised an elegant brow. "That's it? Come on. Don't be shy. What else? Our heads? A date?"
He shook his head. "Live by one rule: no killing innocents. Ever. That's all I ask."
Silence.
Even the buzzing refrigerator stopped buzzing for a moment.
Stheno blinked. "What kind of monster are you?"
"The annoying kind," Naruto said, grinning. "The kind who means it."
The sisters looked at each other. For the first time in centuries, someone had approached them not with desire or fear—but respect and a plan.
Euryale smiled. "When can you grant our wish?"
Naruto hesitated. "A year. Maybe less."
They both burst into laughter.
"A year?" Euryale choked. "Sweetie, we've waited millennia. You could take a century and we'd still be impressed."
Stheno grinned and slapped his back. "You're weird. I like weird."
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If Naruto had expected the day to be normal—which, by now, he really should've known better—it was clear the universe had other plans. Again.
Between dodging dog-beasts with shields (because apparently fantasy monsters do drop random loot like an overcaffeinated video game), scavenging clothing for a modest slime-girl companion, and now standing across from a drop-dead gorgeous snake woman who looked like she'd slithered out of a fashion magazine and into Greek tragedy—well, Naruto was starting to think this realm had mood swings.
Euryale, the woman in question, tilted her head at him like a curious cat with a venomous bite. Her eyes—those ancient, shimmering gold eyes—glittered with something deeper than amusement. Pain, maybe. Loneliness. A lifetime of regret hidden behind a smirk.
"You're something else," she purred, circling Naruto with a sway in her hips that would've sent most demi Immortals running in very conflicted directions. "Pure-hearted and strong. Tell me, do you want this big sister to give you a good time?"
Naruto, true to form, scratched the back of his neck and turned approximately the color of a ripe tomato. "Uh… no, thank you. I'd rather wait for someone I love. I don't take… that stuff lightly."
Silence.
Then, unexpectedly—
Euryale laughed.
Not a cruel, mocking laugh, but one filled with a brittle warmth, like the first rays of sunlight cracking through a storm. "Such a nice guy," she said softly, a bitter smile tugging at her lips. "My sister would've loved someone like you… instead of him."
Her voice dropped, and with it, the temperature in the room. The air practically crackled with ancient fury.
She slammed her hand down on the counter beside them. The wood didn't just crack—it exploded like it had insulted her honor in ancient Greek.
Naruto didn't flinch. (Okay, maybe a little.) But instead of backing away, he stepped forward and gently cupped her cheek. His fingers brushed away a tear she didn't know she'd shed.
"I understand your pain," he said simply. No grand speeches. Just truth.
Euryale's expression wavered like moonlight on a rippling lake. For a heartbeat, the mask cracked, and Naruto saw the grieving sister beneath the centuries of armor.
"You really are something special," she whispered.
And then—serious now—she straightened. The teasing was gone. What remained was ritual and weight. "We'll trust you," she said. "But let's make it official. Swear on the River Styx."
Naruto didn't hesitate. "Agreed."
Lightning crackled somewhere far off, like the Immortals themselves were taking notes. A pact sworn on the River Styx wasn't just words—it was binding. Break it, and you might as well try arm-wrestling Hades with both arms tied behind your back.
Their hands met. And in that clasp, something ancient passed between them—trust, power, and a fragile hope.
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Naruto stepped out of the shattered remains of what had once been a charming little boutique, now repurposed into something between a warzone and a dressing room. His footsteps crunched on broken tiles, but his posture had changed—less of the confused otherworlder and more of the guy who'd just made a pact with an ancient myth and lived to tell the tale.
Outside, waiting like the most bizarre adventuring party ever, were his companions: a nervous harpy girl with newly fitted clothes that barely worked, and a tiny nature spirit who looked like a forest sprite had crash-landed in a hair commercial.
Gaia, perched regally on Ella's feathery head like a queen on a living throne, arched a brow. "So? Did the terrifying gorgon Immortal try to seduce you or kill you?"
Naruto shot her a look. "Both, technically."
Gaia snorted. "Sounds about right."
Ella giggled, a flutter of feathers and shy smiles. Despite the chaos, she was clearly enjoying being part of something—something real.
"It went better than expected," Naruto said, loosening his shoulders. He felt lighter, like he'd just let go of some invisible burden—or maybe that was just what surviving a magical oath felt like.
"Good." Gaia's tone shifted into something more serious. "Then we move forward. Stronger monsters, better loot, and, if the Immortals are generous, fewer awkward wardrobe malfunctions."
Ella's face turned beet-red, and Naruto coughed, pointedly looking anywhere but at her too-tight shorts. "We're working on that," he muttered. "Anyway, time to train."
Ella perked up, puffing out her chest like a proud little sparrow. "You'll teach me?"
Naruto gave her a lopsided grin. "Yeah. We're going full ninja today. Lesson one: how not to trip over your own claws."
She flapped her wings excitedly and gave a determined nod that almost knocked Gaia off her perch.
The fairy didn't seem to mind. In fact, she laughed—an airy, musical sound. "This is either going to be epic or catastrophic. Probably both."
Naruto drew one of the daggers he'd scavenged earlier and spun it around in his hand. "Let's start with basic strikes. You don't need finesse yet, just confidence. Your claws are natural weapons—sharp, fast, deadly. The key is to move like you mean it."
Ella's first attempt looked like a kitten trying to scratch a window. Her second nearly had her tumbling forward. By the fifth, she'd managed something close to a real swipe.
"Better," Naruto said, nodding. "Again."
They practiced in the ruins of the city, surrounded by crumbling buildings and echoing silence. Every slash, every parry was a statement: we're still here.
And while Ella trained, Gaia kept watch, her bright eyes scanning the shadows for anything too bold—or too stupid—to sneak up on them. The ruined city might've looked dead, but it breathed. It waited. And Naruto knew that if they didn't keep moving, something worse than oversized dogs or slithery Immortal would eventually find them.
"Let's go," he finally said, when Ella's arms were shaking and her breath came fast. "We'll keep practicing between fights."
"Okay!" she chirped, exhausted but happy.
Gaia, now resting on Naruto's shoulder, yawned. "Time to hunt. If we're lucky, maybe you'll find a magical pair of shorts that don't require moral support to remove."
Naruto groaned. "Please don't make that a quest."
They walked on, deeper into the ruins, three unlikely companions bound by oaths, dreams, and the shared desire not to die horribly.
The path ahead was riddled with danger, but for the first time since arriving, Naruto felt something close to optimism.