… On the way back, the streets were noisy and crowded with students and carriages taking them home.
The smell here is quite unpleasant. Like, it's mold, food scraps, horse manure, and some small open sewers. Despite the effort for cleaning and conservation, it still bothered me quite a lot.
The dust raised by the carriages and horses, along with the sparse vegetation, contributed to the heat and terrible humidity. This is a detail that I, particularly, don't like and it makes the walk even more painful.
The distance from here to the orphanage is, like, a bit long, almost an hour's walk. The steep climbs are also enough to kill anyone with exhaustion. But I like moments like this. I manage to have time to think about life.
How to be stronger? How to be recognized? How not to be forced to marry? How to be more feminine?
These are things I can't stop thinking about.
'You are always very kind', 'you are a good girl', 'I am strong' and 'I will be back soon', his words also don't leave my head. Walking and thinking about all this repeatedly, when I realized, I was already home.
Entering my room, I felt the sweet smell of incense I placed in the morning. I immediately took off my school clothes and locked the door. Although it's embarrassing to be just in my underwear in my room, I feel very good like this. But it's better to put on casual clothes.
Now, I can remove my precious notebook from the hiding place. Like, I need to think of new places to hide it from Almaria, that nosy idiot.
Turning the pages full of stories, I read the titles: 'Bloodstain', 'Curiosity Killed the Cat', 'The Prince and Princess of a Thousand Swords', 'León'. They are all stories I came up with, but most are incomplete. I need to finish them someday.
Despite that, I want to start a new tale. I thought of a really cool one during class. It goes like this:
"The Tale of the Elegant Knight
The noble knight, born in the abyss, stands before the world. Even being humiliated and not seeing her worth, she still persevered, believing in her inner strength. One day, she found someone who believed in her. This person saw in her what no one else saw and took her to his mansion. Being a prince, this noble man placed her on his horse and taught her the art of the sword.
However, the world was plagued by evil spirits, being very sad and empty. The noble knight, using the knight's sword, set off on a heroic journey. Upon defeating the terrible demon, she was praised as the warrior goddess. Then everyone became her friends. Everyone who saw her as despised and weak was surprised to note that, in truth, she was powerful and very beautiful. She married the wealthy prince and was happy forever."
It's perfect! Closing the notebook and guarding it well, I can go to the bathroom to clean myself up.
The water is already hot and now is the time for the girls to take a bath. Since most of the girls are out, I can kind of be the first to bathe and will still have plenty of time until they return. This is amazing.
There are no mirrors in this bathroom, like the ones at school, but the reflection in the water still bothers me.
What are reflections? Is that really me? Or not?
I know it's paranoia, but I don't feel good about it for some reason.
Even trying to keep my mind on the dirt on the wall or something different, my eyes were pulled to the reflection in the water. I kind of don't like my nose, I think it's very ugly, so I slapped my hand on the water, turning the reflection muddy and the image shapeless. That's better.
"Today was such a quie~et day."
Murmuring while stretching, those words didn't stop reverberating. I am a lone wolf, a misunderstood being, but it still bothers me to be so alone around here.
I also don't interact much with the children, who spend more time with Sylmeria. How does she feel about that curse thing? Does she like someone?
Feelings are so hard to understand, they are always so confusing. If I don't even understand mine, let alone others.
Celina told me something today about working for her. Like, that spoiled girl thinks she can buy me. But it is interesting to think that the powerful can do whatever they want.
So, that is what I need. Power. If I have power, everything will be possible. Everyone will love me and bow at my feet.
That's it, I will become the queen of the world. Well, it's a joke, but it would be good if it became reality. And when my singularity awakens, I will make it reality.