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Renji Kurogane: 23 Fragments of Fate and Misfortune

Thanatos_Primum
You know what's worse than being dead? Being half-dead, with a sore back, no coffee, a Minecraft sheep as an emotional support animal, and a tattoo that vibrates every time you do something stupid. Hello. I'm Renji Kurogane — ex-cop, archaeologist of forbidden ruins, and currently: unwilling vessel for a cosmic entity with universal Wi-Fi. A cursed envelope, a notebook with the personality of a passive-aggressive barista, and a word that should never exist — Senku — were enough to turn my life, and the multiverse, into a flaming dumpster on wheels. From Egypt to Japan, through the Vatican, screaming catacombs, and discount airlines that reek of corrupted code, my journey isn't a heroic one. It's a classified report buried between sleeping gods, glitched realities, and nuclear-grade sarcasm. I'm collecting 23 gems that seal something so ancient and broken, even Time refuses to remember it. My partner? A god trapped in my skull with the ego of a cursed influencer. My spirit guide? A sheep. Literally. And yes—it judges everything I do. This isn’t a prophecy. This isn’t a salvation arc. It's an existential black comedy disguised as an interdimensional epic. A story where the universe isn’t trying to save itself... It just wants front-row seats to my suffering. So, if you’ve ever wondered what would happen if Deadpool, Rick Sanchez, and John Constantine had a spoiled child and handed him the budget of an apocalyptic anime... Welcome to my story. But be warned: The Eye is already watching you.
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