Chapter one
It's been 6 months since my husband passed away and it's been tough, I've had enough of the condolences and meetings, I cried like a baby in the hospital when the doctor announced him dead, Charlie was my soulmate, my everything!
I was left with two kids to fend for, Fawn and Finbarr my babies. I've had to stay strong for them through these trying times. Losing one's father can take a huge toll on your life, especially at a very young age.
I took some time off work to cater to my family needs and affairs, my colleagues were the sweetest, sending my gifts and flowers and calls too.
I sighed as I reclined back into my chair, in my husband's study, it was Charlie's escape, he designed this study himself, everything looking manly and elegant just like he liked it.
I picked up the family photo resting on the desk, it was a summer trip to Colorado, Charlie with his blond hair and blue eyes holding up the camera, my sweet babies holding your skateboards and me kissing Charlie on the cheek. Where did it all go wrong?
Cancer! The secret evil that eats you up without you knowing, Charlie was in stage 3 acute renal cancer, and none of us knew! I was called into the hospital one day and there was Charlie fighting for his life, he had collapsed at work.
I shook my head, removing that memory from my head. I didn't want to cry, not now, not when my kids are around.
My mom had insisted that the kids come live with her for awhile, I had refused and insisted they stay in their father's house till the wake and burial was over, running from this won't make it go away.
My best friend Kayla had been away for work, and FaceTimed me daily, I love her, she had held me down through college, heartbreaks, life struggles and now, she was there, I was about to call her to talk when I heard my son Finn
"Mom?" He called from the hall way
"In here" I shouted back
A soft knock was on the door and Finn stepped in, my gorgeous gorgeous boy, so much like his father, curly blond hair, amber eyes, square jaw, his face hurt me so much, he looked so much like Charlie,
"Hi mom" he said coming round to kiss my cheek
"Hi baby, you good?" I asked, trailing my eyes back at him, my neck hurt from looking up, he was tall.
"Yeah just driving through town to clear my head"
"Mmhmmm" I replied
"Is it cool if Xavier stayed over?" he asked, looking at me with pleading eyes.
Xavier has been friends with son since they were in diapers, they've been together as friends all these while even graduating from the same college, I've known his family and as well as they've known mine, coupled that with countless sleepovers and play dates, Charlie asking now it's just a formality, Xavier is gonna sleep in this house whether I like it or not.
"Sure thing baby, when would he be coming?" I asked
"I'm right here"
Xavier stepped into the study, with that mischievous glint in his eyes, he was the same height as Finn, only he was white as chalk, and dark hair, blue eyes and a stubble of beard, he had grown so much.
"Xavier, so good to see you" I said, smiling at him.
"And you too Mrs Crawford" he said settling down beside Finn
"And how was campus life at Stanford, are you thinking of grad school?" I said engaging them in somewhat of a conversation.
"Mom, campus life is hell, can't believe I chose to study engineering" Finn groaned
"I'm not sure of grad school anymore"
"Man, quit whyning, and I told you so" Xavier said mockingly at Finn.
My son didn't back down and I cut both of them off.
"Alright, alright you guys Dinner is in 2hrs, you guys freshen up and come back down" I said looking at both of them.
"Alright mom" Finn said standing up, headed for the door.
"So what are you making, I wanna help" Xavier said looking down on me as he stood.
Was it me or was he trying to flirt? Or I might be overthinking this.
Xavier had a crush on me no doubt.
I started noticing it in the way he looked at me just a second too long, eyes soft, almost curious.
He called me Mrs Crawford like he was supposed to, but the word sounded different coming from him warmer, more careful.
Whenever he came over to hang out with my son, he always found a reason to linger near me.
When Charlie passed away and I was strong for everyone, Xavier was always in my house helping me out, with grocery runs, cleaning and handy jobs around the house.
And sometimes, when he thought I wasn't looking, I caught him staring.
Quick. Guilty.
Like someone reaching for something they knew they shouldn't want.
I pretended not to see it, I truly didn't want to see it, no one had ever looked at me that way, not since Charlie.