Rain let out a breath that felt dragged out of him—deep, heavy, almost shaky. The kind of breath someone takes when they're tired of everything, hoping the world might finally listen for once.
"When did it all go wrong?" he muttered, voice thin and unsteady.
The wind pushed against him, colder up here than anywhere else. The rooftop sat far above the city noise, far above the people who never noticed him. Up here, everything felt distant. Quiet. It should've scared him, but it didn't. If anything… it felt calm.
Too calm.
He thought about everything at once. His mistakes. His fears. The way every day felt heavier than the last. The shame that sat on his shoulders like extra weight. Everything he hated about himself. Everything he wished he could be.
Most of all, the simple truth hovering over him:
He felt pathetic.
Rain tilted his head back. The sky was clear. No clouds. Just open, empty space. He was above it all, for once.
"Gods… why am I so pathetic?"
He wasn't someone who prayed. He never talked to the Gods. Why would he? They didn't answer. They never had.
But tonight, with the idea of ending everything sitting heavy in his chest, talking to them felt like the only thing left to try.
"Hey, Gods," he said quietly. "Was I born this way? You see everything, right? People's strengths… their futures… everything."
His voice cracked.
"So if you knew I'd grow up with nothing—why even make me?"
Tears slipped down his cheeks before he noticed them. His voice kept breaking every time he opened his mouth.
"Why create me if you knew I'd end up here?"
"Why create me if you knew I'd want to kill myself one day?"
He wiped his face with the back of his hand, but the tears didn't stop. They just kept coming, sliding down his jaw and dripping off his chin.
"Why make me if you weren't going to give me strength?" he whispered.
The words came faster now. Raw. Unfiltered. Years of silence cracking open inside him. Rain didn't talk about his feelings. Not to anyone. Not ever. He kept everything locked down—his fear, his anger, the pointless ache in his chest, the disappointment that never left him.
Eighteen years of swallowing every emotion he had.
And now it all came spilling out.
Rain finally hit a point where he was done with the crying. He hated it. He hated how weak it made him feel. Growing up, he'd been conditioned to push everything down, to "man up," to never let anyone see him break. Even now, standing on the edge of a building, he still couldn't stop judging himself for it.
He slapped his own cheek, sharp and loud.
"C'mon… c'mon, Rain. You got this."
His voice shook, but he forced a slow breath anyway. He stepped closer to the edge, the tips of his shoes nearly hanging over.
"Stop being a pussy, Rain. You've thought about this for months."
He had. For months he'd been thinking about disappearing. The world was too big, too fast, too cruel. And he was always behind. Always losing. Always the weakest. Even with millions of awakened people walking around—people born stronger, faster, better—he was still mundane.
Even if he believed he was pathetic… even if he truly thought he was just wasted space in a world overflowing with powerful people… there was still this one tiny hesitation inside him. That last instinct that clung to life.
"C'mon… c'mon." He bounced on his heels, trying to build adrenaline. His heart slammed in his chest. "It doesn't matter. Nothing happens after death anyway. Just… nothingness."
He edged closer until the drop stared straight back at him. When he finally looked down, his stomach twisted hard.
"Fuck… I'm so high."
A hundred meters at least. One slip. One movement. That was it.
His fear of heights punched through him. Sharp. Sudden. Unwanted. He immediately forced himself to look back up at the sky, anywhere except the edge.
"C'mon, Rain… you've been a disappointment your whole life."
He said it like he was trying to convince himself.
"Losing at everything. If I can't even win at ending my own life… how trash am I?"
The self-hatred pushed him closer, inch by inch.
"Who knows… maybe I'll reincarnate. Maybe I'll come back as an awakened."
He pulled in one last breath. The kind meant to steady someone before something irreversible.
The wind blew harder now. Strong enough to push him. Strong enough that one strong gust could end everything for him.
Rain was ready. Or at least, he forced himself to be.
He leaned forward.
Right as the world tilted—
Right as his weight shifted—
Right as the fall began—
DING.
A soft chime echoed through the air.
Light shimmered in front of him. A small, faintly glowing message hovered inches from his face—impossible, unreal, like it didn't belong to this world at all.
Rain froze.
He blinked.
He stared at the text in disbelief:
The Goddess of Lust feels empathy for you.
Rain stumbled backward on instinct, heart slamming in his chest for a whole different reason now.
"…what?"
The glowing message didn't fade.
It only grew brighter.
He stared at the text.
Floating there in front of him like some piece of alien technology.
He'd never seen anything like this before. Never heard of anyone—ever—being contacted by a god. And definitely not… pitied by one.
More lines appeared beneath the first, right in front of Rain's eyes:
The Goddess of Lust observes your final moment.
She feels sympathy for your suffering.
She claims you.
Then a final line blinked into existence:
Do you accept awakening under the Goddess of Lust?
YES / NO
A shiver shot down Rain's spine.
"W-wh-what the… fuck?" he stammered, voice loud but detached. "G-Goddess of Lust… the Goddess of Lust?"
Tiny beads of sweat slid down his face, even though the rooftop was freezing cold.
A god… wanting a human to be theirs? To be their awakened? No. No way.
There were plenty of gods in the world—around twenty—but history said only a handful had ever chosen mortals. Five, to be exact. Once a god sponsored someone, they could never choose another. It was a permanent bond.
That's why it was so rare. That's why gods were so selective.
And the Goddess of Lust… one of the strongest gods… had chosen him.
Rain's heart pounded so hard he could hear it.
"There's no… fucking way."
He slapped his own face, desperate to prove this wasn't a dream. To make sure he hadn't already killed himself and ended up in some… permanent dream world.
He forced his eyes back to the screen. This was real. It had to be. And all he could focus on were the two words blinking at him:
YES / NO
Most people would never pass up the chance to awaken—especially when it meant being sponsored by a god. But Rain… he hesitated. Rational thought started creeping in.
Everyone in his world knew about the gods. It was a basic rule: you learned what they did, why they existed, and the limits they were bound by.
Gods couldn't interfere without reason.
40 Years ago, sudden catastrophes began to tear through the world. Creatures poured in from portals. Dungeons appeared out of nowhere. Normal weapons were useless against them. Millions died.
That was enough reason for the gods to step in. To balance the world, they granted certain people extraordinary abilities. It was purely a matter of luck who became an awakened—but only the awakened were strong enough to face these creatures.
Except only around 10 Gods actually helped us when these creatures poured into the world..
Most of the people of this world didn't give it mind. They thought "maybe they were busy" or "maybe they knew the other 10 Gods could do it themselves"
Except… only about ten gods actually stepped in when those creatures poured into the world.
Most people didn't think much of it. They assumed the others were busy—or that the ten gods who acted could handle everything on their own.
But not everyone was so forgiving. Some believed the other gods were evil, refusing to help when so many lives were at stake.
The Goddess of Lust… she hadn't been one of the ten who intervened forty years ago. Does that make her evil?
Rain didn't know. Not really. He barely remembered much about the gods at all—he had never paid attention in school when teachers spoke of them.
Minutes slipped by in a haze of panic and spiraling thoughts.
Ding.
The Goddess of Lust is growing impatient.
Time remaining to choose: 30 seconds.
YES / NO
Rain's breath caught in his throat.
W–what? I don't have infinite time?
His heart slammed against his ribs.
Fuck… fuck, what do I do? What if this god is a bad person? What if she turns me into her slave or something?
Ten more seconds bled away—ten seconds of choking doubt, fear, and the kind of thoughts that only appear when someone is cornered by fate.
And then a final thought rose up, clearer than the rest:
Would I rather die a pathetic life?
…or—
Would I rather take the chance to become something stronger?
So what if the goddess was horrible. At least this so‑called evil god believed in him.
Unlike anyone else ever had.
Rain drew in a long, shaking breath.
"Yes!" he yelled, his voice cracking and echoing across the rooftop.
"I ACCEPT YOUR SPONSORSHIP!"