I'm Kyle.
Just a regular, everyday, normal moth…
Alright fine, I'm a dude. Twenty. Single. College student.
And yes, I go to college in a car. Not a bike. A car.
Why?
Because my parents are freaking loaded.
Two hundred and fifty million dollars in net worth. So yeah, I'm rich.
Rich enough to do basically whatever the hell I want.
And because I'm rich, handsome, and blessed where it matters…
Let's just say I don't exactly struggle in the "action" department.
You know those BBC videos online?
Premium membership there
I'm the upper echelon if you wanna compare.
I've "explored" almost all the beauties in my college.
Almost.
Some still resist, but time is on my side.
Patience is a virtue and all that.
So, let's summarize:
I'm rich.
Handsome.
Intelligent.
And carrying a weapon of mass destruction between my legs.
My friends call me a narcissist.
But I'm handsome, so I'm allowed to be.
On top of that, I opened my own business using pocket money.
And it's making profits.
Why???
Because I'm me.
Basically, I'm everything you aspire to be.
Yes, you reading this.
You frekin loser.
I'm handsome, rich, smart, and packing heat.
Anyway…
Because I'm so intelligent, nothing interests me anymore.
Except those thick girls. But that's another topic for another time.
Movies? Predictable.
Web series? Predictable.
Anime? Child's play.
Manga and manhwa? Finished them mentally before the first arc even ends.
Hell, I can predict One Piece arcs just by watching the first few episodes.
And my accuracy is insane.
But there is one webnovel I cannot predict.
Not even with my giga-brain.
And that novel is pure chaos.
Anything can happen.
Character arcs? Forget them.
Logic? Non-existent.
There was this one time a cat killed an entire count family.
A cat.
Why?
Because the author felt like it.
No explanation given.
And the story moves on like nothing happened.
That's just the basic level of nonsense.
The first two hundred chapters?
Good.
He writes like a cuttlefish that loves diving on some days and like EntailJi on others.
He uses thriller style in romantic scenes who even does that?
And the fight scenes?
Like you're describing a rock.
And this shit is interchangeable.
Bipolar storytelling at its finest.
The novel is at 800 chapters now.
And that's not even halfway done.
And I, being rich and stupid, bought the highest-tier membership for it.
Why?
Because I'm addicted to suffering apparently.
But today…
Today this author crossed the line.
Some top-grade bullshit happened in the latest chapter, and I snapped.
I abused him.
I cursed his mother, his father, his ancestors, and even his pet goldfish.
I shut my tablet angrily.
And suddenly
Pain.
In my weener.
Not normal pain.
HELL pain.
Pain like my soul was being roasted.
I screamed like someone set my lungs on fire.
And then my testicles straight up exploded.
Boom.
Gone.
Deleted.
Basically, I died.
---
Some time later
I open my eyes.
And the first thing I see is…
A woman.
No
A divine creature.
Clothes? Barely there.
Thick, juicy thighs? Perfect. Heavenly. Designed by gods for groping purposes.
Her… chest?
Like two perfect planets orbiting my soul.
Her aura screamed:
Bow down, mortal. I can crush you with my thighs.
And honestly?
I wouldn't mind.
But before I could mentally worship her, a man screamed:
"ARE YOU AN IDIOT, RHEA!? HOW CAN YOU KILL SOMEONE JUST BECAUSE HE INSULTED YOUR NOVEL!? IT WAS SHIT ANYWAY!"
My mind froze.
I…
Insulted her?
With those thighs…?
Kill me again.
The man sighed and rubbed his temples and looked at me.
"I'm Kronos. This is my wife, Rhea. And yes, you're dead. Or killed. Whatever. Point is, you weren't supposed to die, so I'll just send you back."
But the thick-thigh goddess snapped:
"He's NOT going back! He insulted my work and just so you know that novel is a REAL WORLD story. Now he will go into that world and prove he can do better."
My eyes went from her thighs… to her glare… and my soul whispered:
"…oh. Shit. I'm thigh fucked."
She continued:
"And if you fail, you'll suffer for eternity. So don't die."
Kronos stared at her like she'd lost her cosmic mind.
"That world is doomed, Rhea! There's nothing left!"
"Not that timeline. The main one. The one with the multiversal collapse."
Kronos blinked.
"The collapse is 2100 light-years away. What are you going to do with him until then?"
"…Uhh… let's just put him into hibernation."
Kronos groaned, not wanting to argue, and looked at me.
"Look, kid, just sleep. I'll give you a gift when you wake up."
Something green wrapped around me.
Warm. Heavy. Comfortable.
And then everything went black.
And I slept.