You may be wondering what in the flying fuck happened to Jerry and Billy and Cleveland and Richard decided somewhere in their deluded world that, in all wisdom (or lack thereof), such a great and bright fucking idea to take them for their TikTok-addicted high school girl nanny (I was genuinely neither of them tried to make a move on her, though).
Well, they took them to the land where common sense, logic, reason, you name it goes to die, and where no smart man or woman could possibly survive.
THE BRAINDEAD LAND:
A forbidden, degrading area that was formerly used as an execution method, but was declared too inhumane in the process, where the use of the brain was considered a war crime that would end the world. A land where only the dumbest and most braindead people (a.k.a, only people that were declared mentally incompetent prior to birth) could exist. A land where every action, noise, and particle of air must meet a certain standard of stupidity in order to be tolerated. Thousands of negative-IQ score having dipshits co-existing. Yeah, very braindead area of land.
Anyway, Cleveland and Richard dumped them off and told them they'd be staying there until Jamal and Becky "came to their senses" and signed an agreement.
(in poorly written red crayon):
I, ___________________ agree to support The Re4lDe4l forever.
_____________________
(sign the damn paper already)
Of course, Jerry and Billy both had functioning braincells, so they refused that bullshit outright, so Cleveland and Richard abandoned them both and let them to fend for themselves. Now we'll have to see if an 8-year old and 6-year old can survive in a place where any one of their bloodcells had more intelligence than the entire population around them combined.
MISSION 1: FOOD
So, I want you to take a moment out of your day and think about one of the necessities to live. If you said water, correct but not the answer I wanted. If you said oxygen, refer to the water thing. Now, if you said food... YOU'RE [4] RIGHT.
So the first thing these two unfortunate souls had to find was food, or something edible, or their stomachs would hurl strongly-worded statements at them for the next two weeks until, they either found something edible, or their stomachs would quit at life.
Should be an easy task, right? Well, if you thought that would be right, boy, are you in for a world of reality checks. Because when you have to do things in a world where the entirety of your surrounding population doesn't even sniff your IQ, you're gonna have one [10] of a problem.
So what did Jerry and Billy do? They scoured long and wide, determined to find edible food, not including pencil erasers and expired honey, staples in The Braindead Land. Unlike everyone else that had ever inhabited The Braindead Land, Jerry and Billy had the brain function to know the "restaurants" (which were just broken barrels of random food) didn't serve food that could keep your living privileges and that the food that could was probably chucked far away. For hours, they found many things that weren't food. At one point, Jerry thought he found some pancakes, only to realize that they were just yellow Frisbees. Another time, Billy found a small, red bouncy ball that looked like an apple for a second.
But then, they struck gold. Behind a bush that looked like it'd gone through more violence than an ICU patient, they found, somehow in a bag that preserved it, a steak. Their joy was immeasurable, not just because against all odds, they found actual, quality food, but for both of them, it was their favorite food, above KFC and watermelon. Jerry tried to rub a stick against the sand and made a fire (I don't know if it's logical or not, but certainly more logical than anything Homeless Man has ever done), and Billy cooked the steak over the fire Jerry created. The steak finished cooking and the two boys were about to have a half-filling meal, but...
Braindead Land Resident 1(BLR1): "STOP. STOP NOW BECAUSE I SAID SO."
In came an old man who had clear mental issues and outdid every Redditor and Discord mod combined at their own mentality.
BLR1: (tries to grab the steak and yeet it into the atmosphere) "THAT IS GOVERNMENT SURVELLIANCE TECHNOLOGY."
Admit the bipolar diagnosis already lil' bro.
BLR1: (tries to force feed Billy a red blanket) "HERE. THIS IS REAL FOOD. DWUDHDBHVYGOGT#GHD#GDBJDIUGEYE*VEBDHDDHDGI"
The man tried to actively ended all of the two boys' braincells, but they escaped and managed to eat all the steak before the man could push his braindead agenda any further.
MISSION 2: WATER
Again, name another necessity for survival purposes. Again, it is not oxygen. Again, scratch it, it is water this time. Yeah, same thing as food but shorter grace periods.
So, how were they supposed to find water. I know, I know, some people might think that's a dumb question to ask, because after all, water is 70% of Earth. So finding drinking water should be easy, right? RIGHT? Well, this is a place where having a shred of intelligence is considered a war crime violating every sub-clause in the Geneva Convention, so that automatically disqualifies 'Yes' as an answer.
So, what happened?
Well, after escaping from a former My 600-Pound Life who tried to make Billy her personal merry-go-round, they ran off farther from The Braindead Land, where they eventually found a thermal desalination actor stowed far away because someone busted on it and decided to put some saltwater into it, but then came another man who was inbred 27 different times:
Braindead Land Resident 2(BLR2): "WHY DO ALL THAT HARD WORK WHEN YOU CAN JUST MAKE WATER"
Then he gave both boys one cup of an unnamed liquid with blue food coloring, but since both Jerry and Billy had the brain function to recognize these cups didn't help them live, so they just took the water from the desalination actor and drank them.
Now back, to the Hood, where Jamal and Becky were having a domestic dispute.
While poor Becky was crying:
Jamal: "WHERE THE FUCK ARE THE KIDS OH WAIT YOU DON'T KNOW BECAUSE YOU DONT CARE AND YOURE NOTHING BUT USELESS-"
That was the exact moment One Bullet walked in, and when he saw Jamal beating Becky with his belt, he saw red. He lived a life where abusing women was celebrated and swore he'd never let this way of life exist ever again.
So... to make this short and sweet, One Bullet offed Jamal with his pistol and escorted a wailing Becky to a nearby hostel.