Ah yes, the Termite Block, and yes, it's literally made up of parasites. So how the fuck did the Health Group not throw 52 different Health Code violations at the Termite Block this fucking far? I mean, all humans deserve basic rights, don't they? Most people think they do, and the right to live a half-decent life is probably one of them? Yeah, sure they did, sure those dumb, senile scumbags deserve a good life, because they certainly do the fuck not, especially according to the Health Group.
So, the Health Group didn't really enforce shit at all, it was just a title and free money that usually went to the casinos. Half the 'workers' had so much unpaid child support that they were constantly dragged to fields fertilized with monkey piss to pay it off, and the other half were Discord mods and League Of Legends addicts that were so insecure about their laziness they crypto scammed their way to acceptance just to feel better about themselves and pretend they had a sense of hygiene and tidiness. Yeah, what I'm basically saying is that the Health Group didn't really care about the health of others.
Now here we go to whatever bullshit David's trying to set up
(CURRENT EVENT: Whatever David is setting up)
(The hearing is taking place right now)
David(DAV): "Hello, losers, just be grateful I'm even bothering to say hello to you bums. Today, we're - no, I, because this not a fucking democracy will determine whether four certain people will either continue to be forever utterly humiliated or forever slightly less humiliated. These are people are, the clinically insane drug addicts Whitney and Christopher, the mentally crazy dumbfuck Richard, and this other guy has lost all right to be called anything other than insults, but I'm certain Homeless Man knows who he is."
(Christopher, Whitney, Richard, and Homeless Man go up to the 'stand', which is half a broken wood plank, so they can pretend to be worth something)
DAV: "Alright, we'll start with you, Whitney. You stopped taking 12 pounds of marijuana every day altogether. Instead, you're only drinking 12 bottles of Bud Light daily. You're a free woman.
(Whitney screams at the top of her lungs in joy and tries to exit the Termite Block but trips on air due to her 0.23 BAC)
DAV: "And now you Christopher. Last time I checked, you were taking 20 grams of heroin every hour. Now you're only taking 19.9 grams every minute. Listen, you're still not free, but you're a little bit closer now."
(Christopher shouts "LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO", words slurred and eyes in completely different directions)
DAV: "And... (sighs) for the millionth fucking time, Richard, you'll never be free because you legally identify as a YouTube Kids profile picture, now get the fuck out of my face before I shove two freshly sharpened pencils in each of my eyes and another one up my ass, so I ain't gotta look at your dumb, ugly ass anymore."
(Richard gets off the stand, but not before screaming "I'M A SMART REFRIGERATOR" and doing a backflip over a dozen cockroaches)
DAV: "You're not even smart, you fucking mentally unstable piece of shit."
Homeless Man(HM): "Hey! That's my best friend you're talking to, and you WILL treat him with the utmost respect-"
Oh yeah, I didn't tell y'all, Richard, yes, that mentally unstable piece of shit, was Homeless Man's only friend since high school, or preschool, if you don't count the kids he death threatened to pretend to be his friends.
DAV: "Listen here, you senile dumb wannabe thug, I control this place, and you ain't worth shit around here, so shut your bitch ass the fuck up, you little shit, and sit your dumb ass the fuck down. Your words don't even fucking matter-"
HM: "MY VOICE DOES MATTER"
Oh, boy, not this "eVeRyOnE's VoIcE mAtTeRs" bullshit again, especially being weaponized this way
DAV: "Well, your voice doesn't matter, because one, you have no authority here, and two, I wasn't going to free you anyway. NOW ALL YOU BUMS GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY PROPERTY AND DO SOMETHING PRODUCTIVE WITH YOUR LIFE- OH WAIT, YOU WOULDN'T BECAUSE ALL OF YOU ARE TOO PATHETIC FOR THAT."
And thus ended the hearing with Homeless Man thinking he was cursing under his breath when in reality he was just muttering "peepee poopoo" under his breath repeatedly and everyone leaving the Termite Block, where the outdoors wouldn't be much more sanitary.
Now here we are, Homeless Man and Richard walking out of the Termite Block, a.k.a two dumbasses near each other, oh wait, they're talking to each other now.
HM: "Society these days is being manipulated by the corrupt to turn against us, even though we're always right."
Yeah, buddy, isn't the 'manipulated by the corrupt' part basically what you did to the entirety of Suburban Los Angeles? (Yes, I will be commentating to keep each and every one of you sane)
Richard(RICH): "Yes, I know! Why is the entire world too insecure to accept the fact that we're always right and that they're wrong."
Aww, is that a little self-projection I'm seeing right now?
HM: "Yes, objective facts, bro! Why has the world fallen so low as to no longer understanding the greats like us! I mean, seriously, the worlds needs to stop being childish, grow the freak up, and learn to forgive and forget"
(Another breather to process the level of stupidity being displayed right now)
Okay, what the fuck am I being force-fed into witnessing right now. One, how the fuck are you supposed to prove you being right and someone being wrong is an objective fact? And before even thinks of saying they're talking about, say an object's color, shape, or size, because these are the thoughts and feelings of others we're talking about, how are someone's thoughts or feelings "objectively" wrong. I suppose you could say "subjectively true", but "objectively true"? Fuck no.
Two, yeah, sure, apparently no one understands that financially blackmailing half a state is actually and putting an entire fucking city in debt is a blessing in disguise. Three, the only thing that needs to "stop being childish" and "grow up" is your goddamn brain. Four, yeah, apparently, people need to forgive and forget getting half their families killed due to unpaid debts (That's sarcasm if you actually thought I was praising Richard).
And five, this may be subjective, but Homeless Man, are you seriously saying "freak" as an alternative to "fuck"? AS A GODDAMN 40-YEAR OLD GROWN ASS MAN. If you don't wanna say "fuck", just say "frick", not "freak" like you're a GODDAMN 6 YEAR OLD FRIENDLESS FIRST GRADE EMO OUTCAST WHO'S TRYING TO BE COOL.
Now back to this huge load of stupidity:
RICH: "Yes, when did people become so entitled?"
Bruh. Stop talking about yourselves, you greedy little shits.
HM: "Yeah, they're grateful, after everything we've done for them."
(The level of stupidity being displayed right now is so high this breather will last a full minute)
I don't even need to expose him. If you've read everything, you should know what Homeless Man is like by now.
Then comes David, here to preserve our sanity.
DAV: "Oh, really? Because apparently you're supposed to be grateful for being endlessly bullied as a child, financially blackmailed their whole fucking lives, and punched in the face with lifelong unpayable debt."
And there's that good ol' reality check to hopelessly knock some sense into these two dumbfucks.
And whattya know? Neither of them take it well.
RICH: "Shut your mouth!"
HM: "Yeah, shut your mouth, loser"
Yeah, way to silence the only voice of logic in existence right now.
DAV: "At least I talk out of my mouth, not my ass."
OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. That was literally the reaction of everyone who was there to witness, myself included. Half the people in the Wish.com Ghetto were laughing their asses off. The other half were literally dying of laughter. One guy was even choking after laughing for 15 minutes STRAIGHT.
But neither of them were about to take that, although they should've took the humbling.
RICH: "Yo momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."
Hahahaha, what a original roast that would be respected past 1st grade (more sarcasm)
David didn't respond because he knew it'd just be a big waste of his time.
HM: "Yo mama so fat she's gigantic."
Rephrasing your own goddamn sentence? That was supposed to be a roast? If these are roasts, than saying the letter 'e' is the most disrespectful sentence ever.
RICH: "Yo mama-"
DAV: "I'd respond to you, but that'd be a huge waste of time and energy."
Need I say anything more? There were 209 spectators, and David won with 210 votes to Homeless Man and Richard's 0 votes.