"KISS OF THE SUN"
From what I know about her, I'm guessing that she's either looking at her phone, cooking, eating or taking a nap, she's probably smelling sweeter than the garden of roses, I still remember the scent of her perfume and I wish I could feel her kiss like the kiss of the sun.
I know that everybody might judge me like "You're still in love with her?" and most girls that I've been involved with might say "Why do you still love somebody in the past?". Only my soul, God and I know the truth and all the reasons why I'm still having such emotions about her. Knowing her, she's probably cooking after some time of cleaning up, she's probably smelling sweeter than the garden of roses, I still remember the perfume on her clothes and I wish I could get her kisses like the kiss of the sun.
I know that my brother is gonna have something to say about this, I know some people will say shit behind my back and I know that some will be at a loss of words because of all the times that they've tried to talk me out of this, after all this time, I still sit here, wishing that I could get her kisses, that should be enough of a testament of how special she is to my little heart.
I remember how soft and sweet her kisses used to be, I remember how good my heart would feel when she'd plant her kisses on my cheek, man.. I guess it's true that true love never dies, how am I still in this state after being separated from her for more than a year.
I wish I could get her soft touch on my skin like the kiss of the sun.
"WE MEET AGAIN" / "MY TRUE FEELINGS"
I can't believe that it's been over two years since the day we met, it still feels like it happened yesterday and I remember every part about that moment, damn, memories like this make me wish we could meet again.
It was a rainy morning, if you would've told me that I'm on my way to meet the girl of my dreams, I wouldn't believe the word you say because nothing about that rain was a sign of being on my way to change my life forever.
I'm tired of acting like I don't feel shit anymore, I don't care about what everybody else normally does in situations like this, I'm Theodore and I wasn't born to deprive myself of the chance to let my soul feel what it's meant to feel, right here in this moment.
I know that this bag of emotions that I'm digging up might bring me some tough shit but it's better than not being true to myself, what do I gain by acting like I don't feel shit anymore when I know damn well that I still care about that girl?
I'll let my soul drown in the ocean of love, soak in the rain of pain and shine in the pleasure of loving somebody purely, if that means I'll be living in my truth.
"ONE-OF-ONE kinda Love"
You called me on the night of the 16th December 2023 to talk to me and earlier that day, you made a tiktok video about me while wearing a shirt that you got from me. You did everything I would ask you to do for me, you were always right by my side every single day, you started being less around your friends and you spent your year with me, you circled your life around me and our relationship, you apologized in the less times you were wrong and you forgave me every fucking time I would mess with our love, you would stay on the call with me for the whole day when I would buy 300 minutes, so I take my words, I think that nobody loved anybody more, we loved each other equally, I just wasn't mature enough to be responsible.
Even when you'd mad at me, you'd still sit down with me in public and share a meal with me ( I'm smiling right now because I can see it happening ), you would choose me over your own needs, you tried everything you could to show me how much you actually love me, you read everything I wrote, every page, every slide, you listened to every one of my crazy thoughts, you adjusted to my uniqueness and aligned yourself to everything I did, we really had a good love and I love you for it.
I said that I loved you more but I'm starting to realise that we loved each other deeply the same way, I just wasn't mature enough to realise it in time and it only hit me after our beautiful relationship was damaged by my useless actions.