I sat at the window of the little apartment my mother and I shared in an old building, admiring the Brownsville painting someone had drawn on the wall on the other side of the street.
I loved my world. My quarter.
Brownsville was my home. I'd grown up there. I'd done everything there. It was part of me.
I turned and looked at my mom in the kitchen. A beautiful forty year old afro american lady. I stared at her while she cooked the little we had available.
She looked so depressed at times and it hurt me, because I knew why She looked so depressed at times and it hurt me, because I knew why.
My mother was born from an American father and a Cameroonian mother. She'd grown up in America and as an american citizen.
She grew up and met my father during an organised party by a friend of hers. He was Israelite. They immediately hooked up. They had that immediate spark and fell in love.
Not long after, my father married mom even with the refusal of his own family.
Two years after their marriage, they had me.
All was fine until a few months after my birth, my father died in a car accident, leaving us to ourselves.
My father's family seized everything and they all returned to Israel. Leaving us helpless.
To this day, I could say my mother was still in great sadness which she tried to hide from me.
But I could see it. And I promised to make my mother happy again. I was going to get her out of poverty and misery.
"Pssst! Pssst! Harl!" I heard a loud whisper from out the window. I looked down and there stood one of my closest friends, Yasmin. I smiled at her.
"Watchu doing? Get your ass down here!" she smiled.
"Coming!"
I got up from the window and ran to my little room to change. I wore my old dirty converses, a white T-shirt and another shirt around my waist. Then I tied my hair up into a sided ponytail and ran out of my room.
"Going out with Yasmin?" my mom asked, smiling.
"Yes, ma. I'm gonna bring back some change if luck's on my side."
"Samira don't do anything stupid."
"I won't."
I kissed her cheek and left the apartment.
*
I met Yasmin downstairs. She'd tied her hair into a bun and wore a grey pullover, jeans and converses as old as mine.
"So where're we going?" she asked me.
"Not too far. Let's take a stroll around. We might fall on someone not so lucky."
"How about Manhattan instead?"
"You got money?"
"Nope. But I know how we'll get there."
-
Yasmin and I strolled through the hood and into town where we took the subway discretely. And soon enough, we were in one of Manhattan's quarters.
I leaned against a wall in the streets while Yasmin and I, silently observed those who passed by.
We waited patiently until we both spotted a round man of about fifty years old. He had a briefcase in his hand and was leaving an office building. Perfect.
"Check out the fat man." Yasmin said.
"He's good."
"Let's go get him."
We casually crossed the street and walked up to the man.
"Good afternoon, sir." we both greeted.
"Yes, good afternoon." I stood a little behind him while Yasmin was in front of him.
"Sir, please we're lost." she lied.
"Really? Where do you stay?"
"Brooklyn. Don't really know how we ended up in Manhattan and..."
While she spoke, getting all his attention, I slowly and discretely stretched out a hand and removed his wallet from his pocket. He didn't feel a thing!
While Yasmin spoke to him, I looked at her and winked.
And immediately, we both took off. Running as fast as possible.
The confused man stood wondering until he felt his pockets and discovered that his wallet was missing!
"HEY! HEY! STOP!" he shouted helplessly. Too late. We were gone.
We ran up to three streets away!
Once safe, we stopped to open his wallet.
"Huh? Da hell is this??" I asked, angrily"What?"
I pulled out the only money present in that wallet and showed it to Yasmin.
"Ten dollars?!" Yasmin asked, surprised.
"Ten dollars! That pop was all dressed up with only ten dollars in his pants??" I couldn't believe my eyes and so did Yasmin.
We were suddenly really annoyed.
"Girl, we gotta return home with fifty dollars each. You with me?" I asked her.
"You know me."
"Let's get some people really scared. But not too much. Don't want the cops on me."
"Same here. Now let's get serious."
We adjusted the little pistols we'd put in the waistbands of our jeans. Yes, when things got a little hard, I preferred to use a gun. No harm done. It was a little game we always practiced and of course my mother wasn't aware.
Yasmin and I had succeeded in stealing about three more wallets after we'd explored other streets. We were careful not to get caught.
But what got us really satisfied, was the last theft.
We'd followed a well dressed lady into an empty street. It was already evening, fifteen past five exactly.
She turned into a quiet and dangerous street, unaware that we were behind her.
Luckily, after the second theft, we'd bought ourselves plastic clown
Luckily, after the second theft, we'd bought ourselves plastic clown masks for a dollar. Perfect for our little crimes.
We wore the masks and approached the woman from the back.
"Hello." I said quickly standing in front of her, blocking her way and pointing the gun straight at her.
The lady froze, afraid. She tried to turn and escape but Yasmin was there, pointing a gun too.
"Going somewhere?"
The woman began pleading.
"P-please. Please! Take everything, spare my life!"
"I like that. Your purse! Now!" I yelled at her.
Trembling, she threw the purse at me.
I quickly opened it.
Two hundred dollars. Yes!
I threw the empty purse at her and motioned for Yasmin and I to run away.
We ran as fast as we could, removing our masks and hiding our guns, laughing all the way like kids.
-
When we were far away and safe, we stopped to rest a little. We were both panting.
"Woo! Hahahaha."
"Hahahah, that was fun tho." Yasmin said.
"I know right." I stood up straight, "Guess how much I got from her purse." I said, breathless. "I know right." I stood up straight, "Guess how much I got from her purse." I said, breathless.
"How much?"
"Girl two hundred dollars."
"Woah! Altogether we got 250!"
"Yup. Let's share the fifty for ourselves. The hundreds, we take 'em back to our moms."
"Yeah. Let's get some Pringles and Pepsi. I'm starving!"
I laughed.
"Hahahaha me too."
We strolled through the busy and lighted city of New York, with chips in our hands, munching and laughing, satisfied with our earns.
We visited a few fun areas like fairs and casinos without ever buying anything or playing any game.
At six pm, as we left the fair, we passed through a bridge. As we walked, we noticed a white guy sitting on the bars of the bridge, water far beneath his feet.
"Isn't he scared?" Yasmin asked me.
"You're asking me? Maybe he's just taking some fresh air."
Yasmin smiled at me.
"How bout one last pickpocketing?" she giggled and I laughed.
"Please yourself, girl. He does look like some rich kid."
Yasmin turned to him. He was on the other side.
"Hey!" she yelled and he turned, "You trying to die??"
The guy shook his head.
"Nope. Taking some air."
She looked at me.
"Lemme go get his wallet." she whispered and crossed to go meet him.
At that moment, my phone rang. It was King, my boyfriend. I picked it up.
"Hello, baby."
"Hello love. Whatup? Checked on you today but your momma said you were out with Yazz."
"Yeah. Paper hunting as usual."
"Baby I told you, you can always get money from me."
I rolled my eyes.
"You know I like to be independent. You know that. I look for ma own money. Even if I gotta steal it. And plus, I don't want the money you get from selling all that dope."
I heard him sigh
"Why you keep acting like what I do is wrong, sweets? It's the business."
"I didn't say it was wrong. What I do too isn't better. But I prefer you avoid drugs."
"I sell them. I don't take them."
"Yeah right. Just remember that this is your last chance."
King was someone I really appreciated but I hated the fact that he took drugs. There was a time we broke up because of it. When he sniffed some, he was very violent. Once he even beat me up under the influence.
I forgave him because he'd begged for forgiveness. And I told him that if he really loved me, he would try to avoid it.
"I know. I love you, Harl."
"I love you too. See you tomorrow." I hung up and Yasmin came over. The boy was still sitting on the bridge.
"You got it?" I asked her.
"Nah. Decided not to steal it."
"Why?" I asked amused.
"I decided to talk with him instead. He's too cute."
"PFF!" I rolled my eyes and we both laughed, walking away.
"Gotta go home now." I told her.
"Why??"
"Got school tomorrow. An important exam."
"The hell?? What's up with you and this school shit?? Harlem, you're the only one in the hood that still goes to school."
"That's cause y'all decided to drop out or quit."
"Yes. Cause it ain't gonna take us nowhere. You're in your last year, you'll graduate then what? Who'll pay for university?? Why waist time."
I stopped and turned to her.
"I'm not ready to argue, Yazz. If I'm lucky, that exam I'm writing tomorrow will be enough to get me a scholarship into Greenwill University in Manhattan. I want a future. I want to give my mother, the life she deserves. You can stay and continue exploring, but as for me, I'm heading home."
I turned and began to walk away. Yasmin caught up with me.
"Fine, Samira. It's as you want."
***
I gave my mother the Money that night. Of course she was glad. She asked where I got it from. Of course I made up some story to tell.
-
After eating that night, at nine, I was in my little room.
I sat on my bed with my drawing book and a pencil in my hand. I was an artist if I could say. I drew extremely well. My portraits of people were perfect. Drawing was a hobby I had from childhood. It was the only thing that permitted me to think out of the real world for a while.
Right now I was making a beautiful portrait of my mother.
Once through, I put it in a file case with my other drawings.
I then prayed, hoping to do my best at the exam of the next day.
After praying, I put off the lights and went to sleep.
***
The next day, I went to school. We weren't quite many in my class because most of the people my age were dropouts, prostitutes, dealers and even worse.
"Okay, guys. This is the only chance you all got to get a scholarship into Greenwill." Our teacher said, sharing copies of the exam. Once done, he went to the front of the class.
"I wish y'all the best. So far you are the few who made it to the twelfth grade. Here in this quarter of ours, it's not easy to make it in school. I want you all to prove that good things can also come from the hood or ghetto."
"Thank you sir." we replied.
"Welcome. Begin."
**
"How was it dear?" my mom asked happily that afternoon when I returned.
"It was great, ma. I believe I did my best. Waiting to receive a letter next weekend to know if I've been accepted or not."
"That's great honey." she hugged me tight, "I'm so proud of you."
"Thank you, momma."
We broke the hug and I went to change.
After a good meal, I left the apartment to go meet King. I wanted to see him so bad.
*
I knocked at his door and soon enough he opened it.
"Baby." he smiled and I hugged him tight. We then shared a passionate kiss before he let me in.
King wasn't the type of guy a girl would call prince charming or a hottie, but to me he was perfect. We fit each other perfectly well.
He was the kind of bad boy I liked. He was virile and that was enough for me. I was attracted to macho men. Men who could beat someone else for you.
"How are you, hun?"
"I'm okay. I gotta tell you something."
"What?"
"I wrote the main exam today. I'm a little confident I might gain a scholarship into a university."
He frowned a little.
"You'll be leaving??"
"I don't know yet. But if I have to leave, don't worry. I'll visit every weekend. It's in Manhattan."
King stood up, running his hands through his hair.
"Are you angry?" I asked him.
"Yeah. But– but it's fine. If it's what you want." He sat down and held my hand, " Just promise me one thing."
"Yes?"
"Don't flirt with any rich brat over there."
I giggled.
"You know I won't. I'm not into spoiled kids. And you promise me one thing."
"Yes?"
"Let's not allow one week distances affect our relationships. I'll come every weekend. That is, if I get the scholarship."
"I promise."
We smiled at each other and shared a kiss. From that kiss, we made love.
That week passed by and soon it was the weekend. Great!
As expected, I got a positive letter from the university. I was granted the scholarship. A three year scholarship to precise!
Yes, I was going to finish and graduate with the school taking care of my education.
My mother and I were so happy!
It was a dream come true, and to be honest, I knew I'd be taken.
From junior high, I'd always been an 'A+' student. My lowest mark was a 'B-', no kidding. I might have been poor but I was very intelligent. God had blessed me with that along with my drawing skills.
In two weeks, I was gonna have to travel back to Manhattan with my stuff, to settle in the campus's dormitories. I was so excited. But at the same time, I was sad to leave my friends, my love and most especially, my mom.
**
The Friday before the Saturday I was to travel, I sat in the living room with my mother.
"I'll miss you so much my darling. Places will quite be lonely around here without you around." my mom told me that night.
"I'll miss you too, momma. But don't worry, I promise to come visit often. Every weekend."
"That'll be great."
"Yeah. And I'll try to find a little job that would fit into my school timetable. So I make a little money which I would hand over to you the days I come visiting."
I looked at her eyes water.
"Thank you, my dear. What would you do?"
"I don't know yet. But don't worry, I'll find something decent to do."
"Okay, my love. Please as you go, concentrate on your studies. Do not join bad friends. Don't try to act like the people you'll meet there. Remember they're from a different world. They're rich, we aren't. Their parents paid their fees, you are on scholarship. Stay true to yourself."
"I promise, momma. You know me."
She smiled and wiped away some tears.
"Yes, I know you. Be careful honey. Peer pressure is strong."
"I'll be careful."
"And avoid fights and quarrels. I know you're always involved in those but please, for the sake of this opportunity, do not ruin it. Else you might be dismissed."
"I'll avoid them, momma."
"Good."
-
For the rest of that day, I had a good time with my friends. Yazz, king, Davey, yazz's bother and my other friends. We hanged out as a group and had fun one last time. I felt awful leaving them, but I'd be back every weekend.
*
Saturday arrived. I got my only travelling bag, full of all my clothes, little belongings and shoes.
Yazz and my mother accompanied me to the subway.
I kissed them one last time before boarding the train.
**
I reached Manhattan that afternoon. I got a cab and headed for Greenwill.
While we drove through Manhattan, I admired the people and other places. This was going to be my town for a while. I was really gonna miss Brownsville.
*
We soon reached Greenwill. I was in awe! It was just as I'd imagined it.
A big classy university with a huge campus, perfect dormitories and clean streets. It was gonna be fun.
The taxi dropped me at the entrance of the administrative building. I paid and got out.
It seemed to be the reopening day. Yup, I was now a Greenwill freshman!
I got my heavy bag and managed to make my way into the administrative building.
There was a main table with a woman sitting behind it. And also, a long line of students in front of the table. I read the sign on her table, it said:
'All freshmen here.'
I kept my bag aside and joined the line.
I waited patiently. Luckily the line was moving a little fast.
I looked around at the other students. Yup, I was odd alright.
Both the guys and girls looked expensive or well bred. You could tell from the brand of shoes they had and from their bags (for the girls).
Most boys had stylish shoes like yeezys, Reebok and all the rest. I didn't know all those names because I wasn't at all interested in things I could not afford. Most had Rolex and Ice watches on. If I wasn't there to study, I would probably think of how to steal and resell them.
As for the girls, extravagant. Not all but most of em.
Short squirts, make up, designer shoes and clothes, little diamond earrings and blah blah blah. Good for them. I was okay in my old vans and ripped jeans. I was into my own vintage fashion.
"Next." the woman said.
I was already at the table.
"Good afternoon, ma'am." I greeted. The lady looked at me from above her glasses. She frowned a little. The look she had on wasn't a pleasant one.
"Let me guess..." she started, "...you're on scholarship."
"Uh, yeah."
She scoffed.
"It's evident." she said sarcastically, looking at my clothes. "You're from?" she asked, dryly.
I looked at her. Wow. Surely one of those empty heads that worshipped only the rich.
"Brownsville." I replied with the same dry tone.
"Hm! Sign here and get a copy of the school map from these files."
I tried my best not to say something mean.
Silently, I signed and got a map.
"You're name."
"Samira Rahim."
"Samira. What a name." She said, searching through another file.
People mostly had the same reaction on hearing my name. Normal. Samira is the name of one of the most ghetto or dangerous towns in New York.
But my dad had a reason behind that name and I wasn't gonna allow anyone to judge me through it.
"Here. Your room number and other information. Use the map to locate the girl dormitories."
I took the file from her.
"Thanks."
I left the line and made my way towards my bag. I felt some of the other students looking at me. I ignored them and left the building.
*
I finally found the girls' dormitory building. I was on the third floor. Luckily, we had elevators. The campus was really beautiful.
I reached my floor. To my surprise, I met both boys and girls in the hallway. Apparently it wasn't forbidden for boys to visit the girls' dormitory and vice versa.
Some boys had come to help other girls to pack in and others just came to visit their friends. The dormitories were mixed with freshman to senior year girls.
I found my room number, 28.
I dropped my bag and got the key from my pocket. I opened the door and got in.
The rooms were beautiful! My room was as big as our living room back in Brownsville. And plus, it was a room for one person.
There was a little arranged bed at the corner, a reading table, a TV, a little fridge and a one person shower. The toilets were probably outside.
There was also a little drawer. I closed the door behind me. I felt all excited.
It was now time for me to pack my clothes into the drawer.
This was a good beginning.