The next morning, Juni led The Western to a secluded training courtyard. A gentle waterfall cascaded into a pond where fat, colorful koi swam in lazy circles. The air was still and carried the scent of damp stone and blossoms. It was, The Western conceded, a premium-grade relaxation zone.
"The foundation of all cultivation is meditation," Juni explained, her voice echoing the seriousness of the setting. She gestured to a woven mat. "Sit. Clear your mind of all distractions. Feel the flow of Qi—the world's spiritual energy—around you and within you."
The Western sat, folding his legs into a position that felt less like a path to enlightenment and more like a human pretzel. He closed his eyes. Okay, clear the mind. Easy.
His mind, which had never been clear a day in its life, immediately offered a slideshow of his greatest streaming mishaps, a detailed analysis of why microwaved tacos are superior at 3 AM, and a nagging question about whether a dragon counted as a reptile or its own distinct class. He tried to focus on the 'Qi' thing. It felt less like cosmic energy and more like the faint static from a muted television.
His breathing, meant to be deep and controlled, soon deepened into the familiar, gentle rhythm of slumber. The Western's attempts at meditation quickly turned into a nap.
Juni watched, her lips pressed into a thin line. For a fleeting moment, she'd allowed a sliver of hope. Perhaps his oddness was a sign of a unique talent. She watched his head loll to one side, a soft snore escaping his lips. The hope vanished. It was replaced by a familiar, weary frustration, but this time it was competing with a new, dangerous twitch at the corner of her mouth. She was torn between wanting to shake him awake and simply documenting the spectacle for future blackmail.
It was then that the air in front of The Western began to shimmer. A single point of light appeared, glitched, and then erratically expanded into the shimmering, translucent form of a chicken.
A bright blue notification box materialized in The Western's view, its sudden appearance startling him awake.
> Tutorial Quest: Out-insult the Chicken (Failure = Public Humiliation)
>
The holographic chicken puffed out its chest, fixed him with a pixelated glare, and began to strut. Its voice was a bizarre, warbling monotone, like a GPS navigator with a superiority complex. It began taunting him, not with simple pecks or squawks, but with a detailed lecture on ancient roasting techniques as if he were the main course.
"Subject's spiritual core is inconsistent," the chicken clucked. "The energy signature suggests a stringy texture. A low, slow smoke would be required to achieve tenderness. Your aura is… greasy."
The Western, still shaking off sleep, stared. "Greasy? My aura is not greasy. It's… well-moisturized."
He tried to channel his indignation into a cutting retort, to muster some of the energy Juni had spoken of. He felt a fizzing sensation build in his chest, a strange power welling up. But instead of forming a witty comeback or a spiritual blast, the energy shot directly up into his sinuses. He was seized by a sudden, convulsive sneeze, so powerful it echoed through the quiet courtyard.
> Skill Learned: Qi Sneezing – Lv.1
> Side Effect: Sneezing fits at inopportune moments.
>
Juni's eyes widened. She watched as The Western, looking dazed, tried—and failed—to keep up with the poultry's relentless critique.
"Your attempts at cultivation are bland," the chicken continued, unimpressed by the sneeze. "You lack seasoning. Even a simple brine of humility seems beyond your grasp."
"Oh yeah?" The Western shot back, his face red with effort. "Well… you're… you're poultry in motion!"
He winced at his own joke. The chicken paused, seemingly processing the terrible pun. The system, however, had already passed its judgment.
> Achievement Unlocked: "Can't Even Argue With Poultry"
>
The holographic chicken gave a final, dismissive cluck and dissolved into nothing. The Western was left standing alone in the silent courtyard, sniffling. The profound silence was broken only by the sound of Juni, who had finally lost her battle with composure and was now leaning against a cherry blossom tree, laughing so hard she had to wipe tears from her eyes.