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Chapter 44 - Chapter 44: The Journal, The Blade, and The Message Malik Wasn’t Supposed to See

It was a mistake.

She left her bag open.

Her journal halfway tucked beneath her Bible.

The blade — old, rusted, unused — hidden in the back pocket like a ghost she swore she buried.

She had gone to refill her water bottle. Just a quick walk to the tap behind the chapel.

She didn't expect anyone to touch her stuff.

Not in church.

But when she came back — Malik was sitting on the bench.

Her journal open.

His eyes red.

The blade in his hand.

---

> "What are you doing?" she snapped, voice trembling.

Malik didn't move.

Didn't blink.

> "I didn't mean to… I swear. It fell out. The bag tilted… and I saw the journal."

> "You read it?"

> "Not all. Just… enough."

Sonia took a shaky step forward, her voice rising.

> "You had no right."

> "I know."

> "You don't get to play therapist. You don't even know me!"

Her voice cracked mid-sentence.

Tears already threatening, but held back with clenched teeth.

Malik stood slowly.

Held out the blade.

> "I don't want to fix you, Sonia. I just want to walk with you."

> "What if I don't want that?"

> "Then I'll still be here. Silently. Praying you'll let someone stay."

---

Sonia took the blade from his hand — not with anger, but with a kind of shame that makes your skin feel too loud.

She looked away.

> "You think I'm weak."

> "No," Malik whispered. "I think you're tired. And I think tired people deserve rest, not judgment."

She shook her head.

> "I don't want pity."

> "Then take this instead," he said, placing something into her palm.

It was a folded note.

A page ripped from his own journal.

Sonia opened it later — when she was alone.

It read:

> *"The night I almost watched porn during a vigil, I cried for hours afterward and still sang backup that Sunday.

The addiction didn't end in a day.

But grace started the war.

If God didn't leave me, He's not leaving you.

Let's fight our darkness together."*

— M.

---

📍That night…

Sonia didn't cut.

Didn't cry.

Didn't run.

She sat.

And for the first time since she was 15 —

she felt safe.

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