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Chapter 18 - Chapter Eighteen: I Found God Again… But Do I Still Want Him?

Angela was glowing.

Not the kind of glow that comes from skincare or soft lighting —

This was holy heat.

Peace that wasn't loud.

Clarity that wasn't perfect, but real.

She smiled again.

Prayed with her heart open.

Began writing in her journal — not poems about Peter, but letters to God.

"You're not punishing me.

You're pruning me.

I see that now."

And yet…

At night?

She still dreamt of his hands.

His voice.

The way his lips trembled when he told her he was confused.

The weight of his body, his arms, his fire.

God, I found You again.

But why do I still want him?

---

Peter was silent.

For the first time in years, he was alone — no girlfriend, no flings, no Instagram DMs to hide behind.

Just… conviction.

The night after Tamara told him to back off, he sat in his room with his Bible open.

He didn't know where to start.

He hadn't touched Scripture in months.

But his fingers flipped… and landed on:

"Create in me a clean heart, O God…" (Psalm 51)

He dropped his head.

Not because of Angela.

But because of who he'd become.

Not a player.

Not a heartbreaker.

Not a villain.

Just… a boy who used affection to numb emptiness.

And it almost cost him a woman he actually respected.

---

One week passed.

Two.

Then Sunday came.

Angela walked into chapel — soft makeup, long skirt, white shirt, no jewelry. Just her and God.

And Peter?

He was on the keyboard.

No one told her he joined the worship team.

Her eyes caught his mid-song — and for the first time in weeks, there was no tension.

No lust.

No drama.

Just two souls… both healing.

---

After service, he walked up to her.

Smiled — not with seduction. With sincerity.

"You look… light."

Angela smiled back. "I feel it."

A pause.

He glanced at the floor. "I've been praying. Reading. Trying to figure myself out."

Angela nodded. "I heard."

Another pause.

He looked up. "I'm not here to get you back. I'm here to get me back."

Angela's eyes watered.

Then she asked the question that scared her most.

"What if… we both become the best versions of ourselves…

But we're not meant to be together?"

Peter inhaled sharply.

"That would break me," he said.

"But at least this time, I'll know it wasn't because I wasn't enough."

Silence.

Sacred.

Safe.

Angela nodded. "Let's just keep becoming. If love survives it… we'll know."

Peter smiled. "Deal."

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