Bucky and I rode the train to the border tribe in silence, yet I felt so calm. As if there was nothing that needed to be said. His hand clenched tightly around mine, warm and strong, a silent promise that he wasn't letting go again.
When we arrived at the house, he made the same face I did when I first realized there was no door on the place.
"Don't worry, it's safe here," I said, giggling as I rushed inside, hastily shifting things around to hide the mess I hadn't had time to clean.
He stepped in slowly, his eyes scanning every surface. Analyzing, memorizing, cataloging everything as if trying to anchor himself in this new reality.
"How long?" he asked quietly.
"I've been here since I got to Wakanda. It's been about a year and a half," I replied with a sigh, sinking down onto one of the stools at my kitchen table.
Bucky shifted and sat on the other one, his presence still almost too good to be real.
I laughed. "I finally have enough chairs for us."
A faint smile appeared on his face, though his gaze remained roaming, curious and cautious, like someone trying to read a language they almost remember. The mix of old-world wood and ultra-modern tech around us must have been jarring for him. I mean, he barely had time to adjust to normal 21st-century technology before, and now this? Wakanda is a whole different galaxy.
Even I can barely work my Kimoyo Beads.
I guess we'll just have to learn together.
"So… what now?" he asked, eyes finally settling on me.
"Well, you're free. We both are, here in Wakanda." I paused, letting it sink in. "Maybe we just… rest."
He leaned his head back against the wall, his chest rising and falling with a deep breath. A smile crept onto his lips.
"That sounds nice."
I reached across the table, offering my hand. He took it slowly, his thumb brushing gently along the back in small, thoughtful strokes.
"The stars in Wakanda are beautiful," I said. "I imagine you're not very tired. Want to go see them?"
He looked at me with those baby blues, eyes so full of love it made my breath catch. As if I was the only person left in the world, as if to say, that was enough for him.
"Aren't you tired?" he asked softly.
"I'm too excited to sleep," I said, jumping up and grabbing a nearby large bag. I stuffed in some light snacks, a couple of small pillows, a soft blanket, and drinks. "Ready?"
His eyes followed me as I moved, a crooked grin settling into his now bearded face. "Yeh, let's go."
We headed out into a nearby field where a few sheep and goats were sleeping peacefully. I spread the blanket, and we fell onto it, backs against the earth, eyes tilted skyward.
Bucky extended his right arm. "Come closer. You're far away."
I rolled over and into his grasp, my head resting on his chest, my leg draped over his.
lub-DUB, lub-DUB
The steady rhythm of his heartbeat hummed in my ear. I missed this, the sound, the weight of him, the safety. Bucky was all lean muscle and strength, but lying on him like this? It was the comfiest, safest place on Earth.
BBBAAAA.
A loud bleat shattered the silence, drawing our attention to the right. One of the goats had woken up and decided we needed to hear his opinion.
BBBAAA.
We both burst into laughter, especially when the little guy trotted over and plopped down behind my back on the blanket like he belonged there.
"Guess he wanted to join us," I chuckled, turning my head to find Bucky already watching me. That look again, absolute love in its purest form.
I tilted my face up to his. Our lips met, soft and warm, our tongues dancing in a rhythm we remembered too well.
As I closed my eyes, I caught a streak of light shooting across the sky.
If I can really wish on a star, then I wish for this. For it to last.
For us to stay together in this peaceful, perfect bliss.
His fingers slid through my hair, gently toying with the strands.
"Thank you," he whispered.
"For what?"
"For finding me. And for waiting for me." He kissed my forehead, lingering.
"Anytime," I whispered. "But maybe… let's not do that again."
He chuckled. "I hope not."
I drifted off into sleep to the soothing sensation of his fingers in my hair and the steady lull of the night breeze.
My eyes opened to the sound of birds chirping. The curtains rustled in the wind, sunlight pouring through and dancing across the room.
Wait.
The bed was empty.
Wait—I'm in bed?
I shot upright.
Fuck.
"Bucky!?" I called out, voice cracking. I scanned the room. Empty.
Oh god. A dream? A nightmare?
How cruel does your mind have to be to do this?
Tears spilled from my eyes before I could stop them, hot and bitter.
Frustration, anger, and grief twisted together in a suffocating spiral.
"God damn it," I whispered, collapsing back into the bed. I buried my face into the pillow, trembling.
I stayed like that for a while. Terrified to get up. Terrified to go back to that room, to see him asleep in the cradle.
I couldn't do it.
I didn't care what Shuri said.
I dragged myself out of bed and threw on clothes, half-dressed, still sobbing, my bag thrown over my shoulder in haste. I needed to sleep. To shut it all off. I couldn't be without him again. I barely knew how to do this before he came into my life.
I found happiness for the first time with him. I can't go back to before him, I can't. I need Bucky here with me.
I'm not strong enough.
I'm weak, pathetic. I know this.
I'll make her put me to sleep for as long as she can or until he wakes up.
I sprinted out the door toward the station.
"Hey! Where are you going?"
A voice cut through the morning. I skidded to a halt, spinning around.
There, sitting on the rocks beside the river, his feet dangling in the water, surrounded by sheep and goats, it was Bucky.
"Oh god…"
My heart slammed so hard in my chest it felt like it might break free. I collapsed to my knees, gasping for air, the weight of everything crashing down.
Footsteps padded toward me, muffled. My ears rang, my vision blurred with tears. Then, his arm around me. Strong, grounding. My head was pulled gently to a shoulder.
His voice, soft and deep, whispered into my ear. "Shhh… you're okay."
I don't know how long we stayed like that.
At some point, he slid his arm under me and effortlessly lifted me. My arms instinctively wrapped around his neck. He carried me back inside and dropped gently onto the bed, rearranging me atop him like a precious object.
His fingers scratched lightly at my scalp like I was some oversized cat. It was odd… but it worked.
It made him feel real.
How long had I been holding this in?
I never truly let myself feel everything. I buried it. Kept busy. Moved forward.
And this… this mess, this sobbing, snotty, crumpled me, was the result.
He didn't say anything, just held me. Reassuring me with his presence, his warmth. His hand never left my back.
If he had asked me what was wrong, I wouldn't have known how to answer. I couldn't think clearly. I could only feel an emotional tornado.
But one feeling stood out in the storm:
I'm so glad he's back.
He's okay.
He's with me!