The morning walk to school was a routine, a mindless march through the same streets, the same faces, the same air. I went because my parents told me to, without any desire or thought of my own. The future was a distant blur, a worry for another day, another time.
It was the same today, just another day, just another walk, just another me. Except for the occasional smile that crept onto my face at a funny sight, and the frown that settled in when I thought about the future.
"What a boring day," I mumbled, looking up at the sky, trying to clear my mind. It wasn't a secret that I said it often, because every day felt the same, boring.
After the ritual of "learning at school," I went home, carrying nothing but myself. I didn't even bother with the homework my teacher assigned.
The school system, a useless machine in my eyes, made me lazy about the obligations imposed on every student. A system that never evolved, only improvised with changes that were barely different from a century ago.
That's why I realized that education was one of the slowest-developing fields in the world.
I needed something new, something to make school interesting for me and everyone else. I was sure everyone felt the same way, they wanted something new.
But I was nobody, I couldn't do anything to change the stupid system, so I didn't even try. Instead, I focused my mind on something else, my hobby.
I loved writing. I could pour all the strange things in my mind onto paper and improvise them into stories that I could enjoy.
That's why, after school, I always opened my notebook and wrote.
Doing what I loved was satisfying. It made me happy, even though it was just as useless as school.
But this uselessness was something I enjoyed. School, on the other hand, was a prison with a fiery hell inside. Of course, I chose to do what I loved over going to hell.
January 15th, 2025, a Wednesday. Today. My mother's 48th birthday.
My family must be gathered at home, waiting for me. Even though I wished they weren't.
My legs moved slowly, carrying my bag and my middle school uniform. I walked home, passing by houses of strangers, places, and things that always distracted me. They kept me from stopping, from thinking for a moment, always busy with even the smallest things around me.
Time moved faster than I realized, and I reached home. But I stopped before I crossed the gate, blocked by the high fence. My body was hidden from those inside. That's when I heard two familiar voices arguing at the front door. It was my older brother, Roy, and his wife.
"Roy, why do you have to use your money? You know we're struggling, right?" his wife said.
"Mary, calm down," Roy tried to soothe her.
"You tell me to calm down? You want me to obey you while you, without telling me, buy an expensive phone as a gift for your mother?"
"Come on, it's not that expensive."
"You still say it's not expensive even though you know our finances are bad?"
"It's only once a year, please. Just this once, I want Mom to feel happy. Next year it won't be this expensive, I promise! Please!"
His wife fell silent for a moment, looking at Roy who was serious about this. She couldn't do anything but sigh and then say, "Fine, just this once."
"Thank you! I love you!" Roy said, hugging his wife.
Mary tried to refuse the hug, still in a bad mood. A moment later, she said, "This is all your fault for gambling!"
"I'm sorry, I won't do it again."
Mary forcefully pushed him away, making Roy stumble back, surprised. She yelled, "You've said that over and over again, you stupid husband!"
Then she went inside the house without looking back, leaving Roy alone with a face full of regret and deep sadness. He looked down, seeming to ponder something for a long time.
I had been eavesdropping all this time, but I stayed silent, with no desire to intervene. I took a few steps back, then came forward with a wide smile, humming a tune, deliberately making my presence known as I approached. I slowed my pace, creating time for him to recover from his sadness.
As I wished, Roy came out of the gate with a smile on his face and greeted me.
"Yo! You're home from school, kid?"
"You think I skipped school? Are you stupid or something?"
"Ehehe, sorry... I'm weird, huh?" Roy scratched the back of his neck.
He felt uncomfortable, which meant he was still thinking about what just happened. Of course he would be, but I wouldn't comfort him, knowing he was the reason for it all.
"Yeah, you're weird, stupid, and a womanizer."
"The womanizer part is a bit..."
"I'm just stating facts, playboy. Be grateful you finally settled down with one woman."
Slowly, Roy's face brightened, he smiled and replied, "You're right, she changed my life."
Seeing that made me confused, but I remained silent because, honestly, I didn't care much. I was too tired after school to think about it further, and I chose to go inside.
"O-oi! Wait, don't leave me alone!"
My weird brother followed me into the house.
"I'm back."
There was no answer from anyone, making me realize that it was pointless.
I heard a loud noise from a room as I was about to go to my room on the second floor. It distracted me from the commotion and I started to approach the source of the noise.
I already knew what was happening, but the noise was different from the other rooms. It was the living room, where my whole family was gathered.
Grandpa, Mom, Dad, my eldest brother who had just passed me and joined them, his wife, my sister, and the dog my grandpa kept.
I knew what was happening, it was my mother's birthday.
Seeing them from afar, feeling how far away their world was, made me feel isolated in nothingness.
I blinked my eyes for the first time, looking at my brother's wife who was smiling at my mother, handing her a gift box that I was sure was an expensive phone.
My mother opened it and was happy with it, laughing loudly and hugging my brother's wife. Mary hugged her back with a genuine smile, without a hint of falsehood.
The scene at the door earlier replayed in my mind. But I could only stay silent. Because I knew there wouldn't be any trouble if I stayed quiet.
I blinked my eyes a second time and saw my brother's face. I was sure it was a face full of regret. Even though he kept trying to show a smile, every fraction of a second he must have thought about that regret and tried to act normal again.
And finally, on the third blink, I looked at the stairs leading to the upper floor. There was an escape up there, my room. A place where I couldn't see all these lies anymore.