"So what exactly is this for?" the obnoxiously handsome bureaucrat attending us asked, not bothering to look up from the paperwork scattered across his desk.
"A patent," I said, my feet swinging as I looked at the bureaucrat attending us. My mother sat beside me, one hand resting protectively on my shoulder.
"Uh huh," he said, before looking at my mother with barely concealed skepticism. "Is this a joke?"
She smiled, and I could feel her amusement radiating through our bond.
"Oh no, it most definitely isn't," she said, ruffling my hair as she did so. "My son is quite serious about his inventions."
"Uh huh," he reiterated, his tone suggesting he'd heard similar claims from proud parents before. He finally looked up at me properly, taking in my young face with obvious doubt. "So what is it?" he questioned.
I smiled immediately, grabbing my wallet. Thank Merlin for expansion charms, huh? The thing looked like an ordinary leather wallet from the outside, but inside it held more than a small warehouse.
I pulled out a sleek piece of metal, as small as my index finger. The light refracted from it beautifully, revealing a few ancient runes inscribed on its surface. What Klein couldn't see, though, what would probably shock him beyond belief, was how many runes were actually inscribed on the inside of the Jarvey Radios, especially since I had been refining the design constantly over the past few months.
The device in my hand was actually one of the simpler models. I had also made a few others like the ones I used for the heist, which allowed people to talk to each other across vast distances, but I had decided not to actually give those out, at least not yet, especially since I they had to work in enclosed connections, so you couldn't talk to more than one person per radio and viceversa.
When I finally finished those, I would be printing money... Wait printing? Do galleons get printed? I mean they are made of metal so probably not.. right? My scrambling thoughts got interrupted by the man's voice.
"What is it?" he asked, as he grabbed a monocle from his desk. I felt the magic flow from it, some kind of detection charm, probably designed to analyze magical items.
Cool.
I wanted it.
My hand began to creep toward the monocle...
BAM
I grabbed my right arm with my left hand, keeping it firmly in place.
Why does my kleptomania seem to be getting worse? Maybe it was because my magic was growing stronger, or maybe it was just stress from all the scheming and planning I'd been doing lately.
"Kid," Klein said, letting his monocle drop back onto the desk. "What is it?"
"A radio," I replied joyfully.
"Like the Wizarding Wireless Network?" he asked, picking up the device and turning it over in his hands.
"Kind of, yeah," I said, trying to keep my voice casual. This was the crucial moment.
His expression immediately shifted to boredom. "We can't patent this then. The WWN already has the magical radio market covered."
"Wait, wait, wait," I stopped the man, holding up both hands. "It's not just like the WWN. The sound waves aren't interrupted by protection wards."
The man picked up my radio once more, this time examining it more carefully. His monocle went back up to his eye, and I could see magical energy swirling around the lens as he studied the device.
"This... thing can do that?" he asked, his voice carrying a note of skepticism.
"Yeah, it can. Plus it's not like the patent thing was what I came here for exclusively, that is. I wanted to connect my Jarvey radios to the WNN as a programme."
Klein lowered the device and looked at me with confusion. "Kid, we don't do that here. You'd have to ask the WNN headquarters for that."
"I know," I said, leaning forward in my chair with what I hoped was an earnest expression. "But if I had a patent on my radios, that could also be validation of its worth, which would allow me to get them connected to the WNN easier. Plus, may I reiterate, no wards or charms can silence it, either placed on the radio, on the surroundings, or even the person themselves."
That got his attention. Klein sat up straighter, his bored expression replaced by genuine curiosity. "And pray tell, how exactly did you do that?"
"Uh-" I started, but my mother jumped in smoothly.
"Trade secret," she interjected with a sweet smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. "So what do you say, Klein? Wanna give us the patent?"
Klein scratched the back of his head, looking between my mother and me. I could practically see the gears turning in his mind. On one hand, I was obviously just a kid. On the other hand, the device in his hands was genuinely impressive, and my mother clearly wasn't some delusional parent with an overactive imagination.
"It would be easier if we had a sample we could study for a while," he said slowly, "but what the heck, they don't call me the Fool for nothing. Sure kid, I'll give you the patent."
"Woohoo!" I yelled from joy, jumping from the chair.
Immediately I felt the stare from every other damn bureaucrat in this place. The entire office went quiet, dozens of eyes turning toward our corner. I quickly shut up, sinking back into my chair, but when everyone turned back to their work, I muttered low enough for only Klein and my mother to hear:
"Yeah, that's right, leave me alone, or I'll cast Testicular Torsion on all of you punks."
My mother shot me a warning look, but I caught the slight upturn of her lips that suggested she was trying not to laugh.
Klein, meanwhile, was already pulling out the necessary paperwork. "Alright then," he said, spreading several forms across his desk. "Let's make this official."
The patent application process was surprisingly extensive. Klein walked us through each section methodically, explaining what information was required and why. While I didn't have to explain how exactly it worked, I did have to show it in practice.
So I did.
Klein put up some wards, a few silencing charms, bingo bango, he still listened to my voice through the radio.
"Now," Klein said, pulling out an official-looking document with the Ministry seal at the top, "this is the actual patent certificate. Once we sign this, your design will be protected under wizarding law for the next one hundred and seventy-five years."
He dipped his quill in a pot of self-refilling ink and signed his name with a flourish at the bottom of the document. "Felix Serendipity," he read from the application, "for the invention of... Ward-Penetrating Magical Communication Device otherwise known as the Jarvey Radio. Catchy name."
I tried not to wince at how formal it sounded. The marketing department in my head was already working on better names.
"Your turn," Klein said, sliding the document toward me.
I picked up the quill, feeling its weight in my small hands. It felt weird not using the Wizarding Quill of the book from the Order of Scribes, but oh well, I guess all isn't fair in war and law.
I signed my name carefully, my handwriting still obviously that of a child but clear enough to be legally binding. As soon as the quill left the parchment, the document glowed briefly with golden light, some kind of magical verification, I assumed.
"Congratulations," Klein said, blotting the ink dry with a piece of specialized parchment. "You are now the proud owner of Patent Number 7,842. Your invention is officially protected under Ministry law."
He handed me a copy of the certificate, the parchment still warm from the magical sealing process. I stared down at my name printed in official Ministry script, right next to the formal description of my device.
"Thank you," I said, and as always I meant it.
My mother stood up, smoothing down her robes. "We appreciate your time, Klein."
"Just doing my job," Klein replied, though he was still studying the radio with obvious curiosity. "Though I have to say, kid, this is probably the most interesting thing I've seen come through here in... well, a few years at the least. Most patents we get are for self-stirring cauldrons or enchanted gardening tools."
"You won't have to wait too much more, believe it," I said, already thinking of the telephone like radios, I was still tweaking.
As we walked toward the exit, Klein called after us. "Hey, kid! When you do get that WWN connection set up, make sure to mention where you got your patent approved, yeah?"
I turned back and grinned at him. "Absolutely."
The door closed behind us with a soft click, and my mother and I found ourselves back in the busy Ministry corridor. Witches and wizards hurried past us in all directions, everyone absorbed in their own urgent business.
"So," my mother said, "how does it feel to be an official inventor?"
"Pretty good," I admitted. "Though this is just step four."
A/N: I Cast I'm back for the forseeable future and power stones are very much appreciated spell.
Eh it's a bit long, but you get the deal. Author out.