She was screaming with heart-wrenching cries "Aaaah… haa… aaaah…" pulling her hair with both hands, kneeling by the door, yelling in agony.
"I don't understand where I went wrong where did I fall short that all of this is happening to me? Why have I been left so alone, so helpless? Why doesn't my heart just stop, O Allah? I'm exhausted I swear, I can't bear this anymore. I can't take this coldness, my Lord!"
Her sister came running, dropped to her knees beside her, and wrapped her tightly in her arms. Mehru collapsed into her chest, her face buried deep as if trying to hide from the world. She gripped her sister's shoulders with all her strength and cried even harder. And then, after a while… silence. Suddenly, she just went quiet.
She came back home from work, exhausted. Her aunt was already there. She greeted her politely and headed straight to her room for a nap, but her aunt's voice called from behind.
"Meharjaan?"
She stopped in her tracks and took a deep breath.
"Meharjaan, I'm calling you, come here."
"Yes, coming, Aunt Reha," she replied.
She turned back, set her bag aside, and sat across from her aunt. Forcing a small smile, she asked, "Yes, what is it, Aunt Reha? You know I just got back from work."
"I know, girl. But listen to what I'm telling your mother."
"Then just tell her," she replied, trying to escape.
But Aunt Reha gently grabbed her hand and pulled her back down into place.
"It's for you as well."
What she heard from her aunt's mouth was beyond her ability to process. Her brain helped her zone out, because the more she listened, the more it felt like her soul was leaving her body. She felt weightless, dizzy, like she was floating even while sitting. The only part of her still moving were her eyelashes… open, shut, open, shut.
Aunt Reha's words hit her like arrows straight to the chest.
And the only words that truly reached her were: Muazam is leaving for London… forever.
That was all she heard.
She stood up slowly, quietly, and walked toward her room.
She sat on her bed, laid her head on the pillow, and gently closed her eyes. There was calmness everywhere. She took a restful breath… inhale… exhale… inhale… exhale.
She was sitting on cold sand, and in front of her, the beautiful sea stretched wide. Silence covered everything. Only the sea was crying… and with it, she let her own tears drip silently onto the sand. The sand gently absorbed her pain.
And then she cried out loud.
"Ahhh… haaahhh… ahhhhh… ahuh… ahuh… aaaa… haaahaa!"
Her whole body shook. Her hands lay on the sand, then slowly she pushed them under it, fisting the grains, and threw a handful out toward the sea.
Suddenly, she heard the faint sound of footsteps approaching.
When she turned around, she saw Muazzam walking toward her, dressed in a white kurta shalwar.
Without saying a word, he came and sat beside her.
She watched him, watched from the moment he appeared behind her to the moment he sat down next to her, shocked.
And then, quietly, she turned her face back toward the sea. She wiped her tears, once, twice… but they kept falling. Again, she rubbed her eyes, this time more harshly, her cheeks stinging from how roughly she tried to stop herself.
She didn't want to embarrass herself in front of him.
Brutally, she rubbed her eyes again and sharply wiped her cheeks.
And then suddenly he gently grabbed her wrist.
They made eye contact.
Her eyes were bloodshot red.
His… his eyes held everything: pain, suffocation, regret, sorrow, nervousness, everything swirling together, like a storm behind silence.
He didn't say a word.
He simply placed his hand on her back, slowly moving it up and down in a comforting gesture.
And together, they stared straight ahead, quiet, broken, but somehow still together in that moment.
She closed her eyes.
And with them shut, her final tear slipped down, falling onto Muazzam's wrist.
Something was wet, she felt a faint, cold touch at the corner of her left eye.
She barely opened her eyes; they were too heavy, her vision blurred.
When she finally managed to lift her eyelids, she realized she was on her bed.
She jolted, shaking herself as if to wake up completely. Pulling herself up to sit, she looked around, dazed.
Then it hit her.
Sadness.
Grief.
Her face sank under the weight of it.
All of that… was it just a dream?
"Why? Why? WHY?" she shouted, her voice breaking as both her hands slammed up and down on the bed sheet. Hearing her cries, her sister rushed over.
The moment she saw Mehru like that, her eyes softened with sympathy. She sat beside her, gently pulling Mehru's head to her chest, wrapping her in an embrace that carried warmth and safety.
Despite everything, there was still this warmth of blood, the steady music of her sister's heartbeat.
That sound calmed her nervous system, slowed her breathing. Mehru stayed quiet for a moment, taking in heavy breaths while resting in her sister's arms.
When she was finally calm, her sister let go and held her by the shoulders, assuring her that she wasn't alone.
But deep down, Mehru knew she was alone in all of this.
Still, she managed to force a smile, faking it for her sister's sake, just so she wouldn't worry anymore.
Api, (sister) can you give me ten minutes, please? Let me freshen up and then I'll come outside to you, okay?"
There was a quiet sadness in Meherjan's eyes and helplessness in her sister's, watching her like that but unable to do anything.
"Okay then, don't take too long. I'll be waiting outside, we'll drink tea together, sister to sister, okay my love?" her sister said softly.
"Ahm… I will," Meherjan replied with a faint smirk, her crystal eyes shrinking as she forced a smile.
Her sister gently brushed her hair with her hand, then stood up and walked out, closing the door behind her, leaving Meherjan all alone in the silence.